Pregnant GF, would you ask her to abort? Guys?

[zengirl]

The above part of your quote that I boldened is very important. Most scientists do not consider offspring (whether in or out of the Mom's body) to be parasites. A parasite is a completely different species than the host. I don't mind having a scientific debate if you want to. I just like any debates to be polite, and if you disagree with me, to tell why and not insult me. I will do the same... tell you why I disagree and I won't insult you.

 

I agree that a scientist would make that distinction in terms of actually classifying it (and said so above). The notion that it behaves like a parasite inside the host still exists.

 

I disagree, because most female adults are naturally equipped to bear children. It's a part of being a woman, to have children, so a human embryo is actually a fruit/product of being a woman and having sex. It's an amazing and beautiful relationship. Does being pregnant bring sickness to some women? Yes, but there are many women who have very easy pregnancies. Much of the negative things, like morning sickness and so on, depend on the women. Not every woman's body reacts the same to the teeny tiny human growing inside her body in the special place DESIGNED for a baby.

 

What about this suggests you or anybody else has the right to decide what can happen in MY body or any other woman's? We have the scientific ability to do many things, including control our reproductive destinies. We have evolved culturally beyond our biology, to be more than just breeding factories. Biologically, the female of a species of mammal is essentially an incubator, the purpose is to propogate the species. Human beings have evolved beyond that notion, and to me, THAT is a beautiful thing. We can forge all kinds of destinies, control our bodies, and decide what they're "meant" for of our own volition. To me, telling someone else what HER body is meant for is a very ugly thing.

 

"Choosing" doesn't mean there will be 0 pain or 0 issues in the pregnancy.

 

Never said it did, but it means you go into those negative consequences willingly. Every choice has potential consequences. That's just fine.

 

I disagree and actually think it's a negative trait in modern day culture to see having babies as a risk, and not a benefit, to sex.

 

You think everyone who has sex should want to be pregnant? And every time? That seems very stifling to me. I want maybe 1 kid. So my window for having sex would be, what, a few months? And only once I met someone I would have that 1 kid with? That just seems. . . sad to me.

 

Nature shows that being pregnant and having babies is a positive trait for the duration of a species.

 

Not something we have biological issues with --- the advances of medicine have brought us an abundance of population. We're good on that count. If people were endangered, I would still not be for enslaving people as baby machines, but at least I'd see your practical point. Right now, the greater thread would be overpopulation, not underpopulation (which is not to say I think women in overpopulated areas should be forced to NOT have children they want to have). So, this is just silly.

 

Lol you know that evolution is taught in most schools these days.

 

No, it's not. Only 28% of science teachers in the U.S. are comfortable teaching it fully on its scientific merits. Just saw the research on this recently at a conference. And they don't teach it at my school. (I'm a teacher, albeit not science.)

 

About Judeo-Christians,there are many in the USA, but the USA thankfully has separation of church and state, as well as freedom of religion, so everyone has the right to believe what they believe is true.

 

Yes, but we don't quite have the freedom, those of us who are not Judeo-Christian. I could lose my job if the school I work for found out I was Buddhist. They just fired a teacher for being Atheist last year (not "officially" of course).

 

Having a baby is an honor in being an adult women. If you think of it this way... can men have babies? No. Can little kids have babies? No. Only women (or girls who have reached puberty) can have babies, and yes this is an honor. It is a mistake to treat women's ability to have children as a derogatory thing or a risk or a bad thing. It's an honor that only women have, to have a baby. Getting pregnant and giving birth to children is a benefit to being a woman. It's a blessing from Nature, not a curse.

 

Your view, I guess. I'd love it if men were the ones who carried babies.

 

Yes the embryo is an individual. Individual means being a separate entity.

 

I disagree it's a separate entity, as it is not viable on its own. I've said this several times now.

 

A newborn also requires a mother or caretaker who will feed and nurture him/her.

 

But not a specific one. A newborn is biologically viable on its own. Anyone could care for it.

 

There is a marked difference between being encaged, being enslaved, and being pregnant. Female adults' bodies are not specifically made for being encaged or enslaved. However, our bodies are specifically built for pregnancy. Do you disagree?

 

I do. Our bodies are specifically built for sex too. Isn't sex against our will a crime? Our bodies are specifically built for work too? Isn't forcing us to do work against our will a crime? Forcing someone to be pregnant against their will because of YOUR beliefs should be a crime. And a disgusting one at that.

[collegeguy_24]

In my opinion and experience, I think when it comes to abortion, that is a topic that should be discussed with the person your with before you have sex.

 

Don't demand it, but just get their views on abortion and protection. If the woman a man is with is not willing to have an abortion and he doesn't want kids, then he shouldn't be intimate with her in the first place. Cause mistakes happen, and the last thing she needs is if she gets pregnant, and then the man bails because she wants the kid, but he doesn't, to me, that is mean and cruel.

[Jazzari]

I disagree it's a separate entity, as it is not viable on its own. I've said this several times now.

What does viability have to do with being a person? Lots of people are not "viable" without assistance.

 

You said you agreed with abortion up to 20 weeks of age. There is a substantial and growing body of medical and scientific evidence that unborn babies at 20 weeks can feel intense pain when they are aborted.

 

The baby can hear and recognize the mother's voice. It reacts to outside noises. Hopefully, it doesn't understand when mom tells the doctor to kill it.

 

This is no longer just a part of the mother. It's a separate being who can feel pain and has emotions. This is not scraping off some cells. This is murder.

[chrissylee]

If the women does not want the child then pregnancy can be a very bad thing. Being sick and unable to sleep for 9 months kind of sounds like a curse to me. Especially since all the pro-life people want you to keep the baby, but they want to do nothing to help you with anything. If they really wanted women to have the kid they would at least help the women pay her bills while she was miserable during her pregnancy.

Edited April 21, 2011 by chrissylee

[ChessPieceFace]

If a guy EVER asked me to abort a pregnancy, even if it was already my intention to do so, I'd never speak to him again.

 

I can see some kind of valid point buried in there, but at the same time it sounds incredibly misandric (that is the anti-male equivalent of misogynistic.) Men should have rights regarding pregnancy, but they don't according to our anti-male society. At the very least, if you cared about men in any way, you would respect the feelings of the father and take them into account when making your decision about whether to keep or kill a child. "I want you to kill this child" yeah that's ridiculous. What about "we should talk about what we should do, I'm not sure if I am ready for a kid" etc. Instead of having a discussion involving his feelings as well as yours, you'd never speak to him again as well? If so, that's pitiful.

[johan]

Men should have rights regarding pregnancy,

 

I think men should have rights with respect to conception. If you want to exercise your rights, don't get her pregnant in the first place.

 

When it comes to pregnancy, it's the woman's call.

[Jazzari]

If the women does not want the child then pregnancy can be a very bad thing. Being sick and unable to sleep for 9 months kind of sounds like a curse to me. Especially since all the pro-life people want you to keep the baby, but they want to do nothing to help you with anything. If they really wanted women to have the kid they would at least help the women pay her bills while she was miserable during her pregnancy.

People should take responsibility for their own actions and stop looking for a handout. And pregnancy is not the torturous hell that you seem to think.

 

BUT...

 

If you don't want the baby you can put it up for adoption. They will pay your medical fees.

[chrissylee]

People should take responsibility for their own actions and stop looking for a handout. And pregnancy is not the torturous hell that you seem to think.

 

BUT...

 

If you don't want the baby you can put it up for adoption. They will pay your medical fees.

 

 

Its not looking for a handout. I am just saying that pro-lifers need to understand that some people just simply can not afford to go thru a pregnancy. Abortion is much cheaper.

Yes, no sleep and being constapated and throwing up for 9 months would be hell.

[Jazzari]

Its not looking for a handout. I am just saying that pro-lifers need to understand that some people just simply can not afford to go thru a pregnancy. Abortion is much cheaper.

Yes, no sleep and being constapated and throwing up for 9 months would be hell.

As I said, finances are not a problem if they choose to give the baby up for adoption. So that's really not a concern and just an excuse.

 

Yes, some people do have morning sickness but it usually only lasts a month or two. The amount of nausea you feel varies from person to person. You might not have it at all or you might only feel nauseated when you first wake up. Some people do have it worse than most but usually it's not a big deal.

 

There are some wonderful things about being pregnant. The first time you feel the baby move is incredible. I had my share of morning sickness, but I missed being pregnant after I had the baby. The feeling was just the most wonderful thing ever and far from the hell you portray.

[Eclypse]

I don't think anyone answered my question earlier. What if the man really wants to keep it but the woman wants to abort really badly? Does the man get any say at all?

 

I think it would be sad bringing a child into the world when you aren't ready. Not only is your life ruined, but so is the childs. Do you want it and the mother to live in intense poverty, perhaps with a man who doesn't love them? A lot of people get forgotten by society easily. It's not black and white.

 

Mistakes happen. Is it worth destroying someones life for 18 years to stand on the moral high ground?

[Kelemort]

I've never been in a situation like this, and I'd tell a guy where to stick it if he asked me to go get an abortion. Although I have 'liberal' viewpoints in most ways (I'm a rainbow lovin' atheist), abortion is something I find morally repugnant.

 

It's exhausting to know that the vast majority of abortions are for reasons related to I can't afford it/I'm afraid of what people will think. You should have thought about that before you climbed into bed. Pregnancy is expensive, yes (although for some folks who get government assistance, it's no big deal - my cousin was unmarried and 21 when she had her son. All of her prenatal care and delivery costs were covered...).

 

That's why places like Planned Parenthood exist. I always use 3 methods of birth control when I have sex - condoms, spermicide and pills, because I'm responsible enough to avoid GETTING INTO that situation. High school and college aged kids can get birth control there for free. My parents made $30k a year and I was out of college when I went, so I had to pay about $50 for my office visit and then $22 per pack of pills. If you're at or below the poverty line, it's almost always free.

 

You can get a box of 12 condoms or so for $3 or $4. So, what - it's $26 to $30 a month for birth control? If both partners split it (if they're hard-up for money), it's probably even easier to manage. It's just not that hard to prevent a pregnancy. If the condom breaks, go get emergency birth control. Always use at least two methods and you're basically good to go.

 

Whenever I have sex, the possibility of pregnancy is near the forefront of my mind, as it should be. And that's why I chose a partner who is far less likely to run out on me than some men may be. That's also why I waited to have sex until nearly a year into the relationship to ensure he was the kind of person who could handle the long haul if things went amiss. By then, I had a very good idea of who he was as a person and whether or not he was responsible.

 

I understand that everybody makes mistakes. But to be honest, I find it disgusting when I hear women talking about going in for their 2nd, 3rd, 8th abortion like it's just a dental check-up. Use protection! It's MUCH easier on your body to just use a condom and take birth control than it is to go through a good ol' fashioned D&C.

 

Abortion was something my boyfriend and I discussed soon after we started dating and before we started having sex. It was important to me to know what he would do in the event of an unplanned pregnancy. I'm glad to say we both agreed. I understand for many younger couples, they're afraid of losing face or even their homes with their families. But at our ages - we're in our mid to late 20s - if I get pregnant, it's just not that big of a deal. Oops, mama! I'm pregnant and not married! Ooooo! I could care less what they think.

[sally4sara]

A couple I know:

 

She turned up pregnant unplanned and wanted an abortion. He, being adopted, didn't want the kid aborted. He wanted her to go ahead with the pregnancy and put the kid up for adoption. She knew she wouldn't be able to carry the kid that long, bond with the idea of it, give birth, and then fork it over to strangers.

 

Neither wanted to be parents and prior to the pregnancy, were often undecided on if they wanted to be with each other at all. Now they are living together with a kid and working it out.

 

**** happens. Its up to you how well you roll with it. But it doesn't have to be the end of the world.

[Jazzari]

I don't think anyone answered my question earlier. What if the man really wants to keep it but the woman wants to abort really badly? Does the man get any say at all?

 

I think it would be sad bringing a child into the world when you aren't ready. Not only is your life ruined, but so is the childs. Do you want it and the mother to live in intense poverty, perhaps with a man who doesn't love them? A lot of people get forgotten by society easily. It's not black and white.

 

Mistakes happen. Is it worth destroying someones life for 18 years to stand on the moral high ground?

Yes, I think the man should have a say. It's his baby too.

 

I don't think giving a baby up for adoption will ruin the child or mother's life. There is no poverty or man who doesn't love them. The child will go to a home where it is desperately wanted.

 

Having a baby doesn't destroy your life. Killing a baby is what destroys a life.

[Kelemort]

Know what's even cheaper than both pregnancy and abortion? Birth control methods. Condoms and spermicide should be good enough for most folks.

 

Someone else mentioned that the pro-lifers want to condemn those getting abortions, but want to do nothing to help. Near where I live, there's a gyno office where they do abortions. In the mornings, I often see members of a Catholic church collecting before it to peacefully protest, holding signs about "praying to end abortion."

 

That's nice and all, but it does practically nothing. I'd be happy if they even passed out PAMPHLETS detailing what happens during an abortion, other options for mothers-to-be and who they can call, where they might be able to get job placements/government assistance, etc. If they even did THAT, I would call it something. But many pro-lifers don't.

 

It would be nice to see churches offering intervention services and trying to understand the reasons that women get abortions. More than half of all abortions are for women under the age of 25 - so I'd imagine finances and family judgments play a critical role. What about finding food and living places for these mothers-to-be? Providing emotional and research assistance while searching for prospective adoptive parents? Asking family members to come in and open up about the pregnancy in a safe environment? Everyone wants to condemn the solutions already being used, but no one wants to help with an alternative.

[elaina]

I agree that a scientist would make that distinction in terms of actually classifying it (and said so above). The notion that it behaves like a parasite inside the host still exists.

 

I disagree that a human embryo behaves like a parasite (which is of a different species than the host.) A healthy human embryo behaves like a human embryo. I do not see any comparison between a human in its first stages of development and a parasite. A parasite, no matter what stage of development it is, will never become like the host. However, a human embryo passes through all the stages of development and there is never a time when the human embryo is not human.

 

 

What about this suggests you or anybody else has the right to decide what can happen in MY body or any other woman's?

I am not saying I have the "right." I am just saying that maybe the focus should not be "My body", but on life itself. Life is not all about me. For example, it wasn't your decision or purpose or want that gave you life. You didn't have any choice in the matter. When you die, it will most likely not be your want to die (though sadly there are people who take their own life.) However, life is not just about individual wants.

 

We have the scientific ability to do many things, including control our reproductive destinies. We have evolved culturally beyond our biology, to be more than just breeding factories. Biologically, the female of a species of mammal is essentially an incubator, the purpose is to propogate the species. Human beings have evolved beyond that notion, and to me, THAT is a beautiful thing. We can forge all kinds of destinies, control our bodies, and decide what they're "meant" for of our own volition. To me, telling someone else what HER body is meant for is a very ugly thing.

Without the beautiful ability to reproduce, humans would not have evolved. Actually, the ability to reproduce and nurture one's young is essential for the survival and evolution of any species.

 

One thing that is a bit funny if you look at it is the decline in Europe of European people, whereas the people in the Middle East and in LatinAmerica are increasing in population. It is very logical to assume that eventually, the Middle Eastern and Latin American populations are going to drastically outnumber Europeans in European countries. One reason why is because many Europeans consider more than one child a bother, a pain, and an impediment to their way of life and their careers. In the future, this will make a marked impact on the earth. So, while to you this "control our bodies" is a beautiful thing, it will mean that it is possible for eventually your descendants will die out, while those who believe that having babies is a "beautiful thing" will get stronger and larger in population. It's really interesting.

 

Below is a link about Europe's population decline and how that will affect the influence:

 

http://www.humanrightseurope.org/2011/03/will-europes-population-trend-lead-to-decline-in-influence/

 

"March 16, 2011 - Parliamentary Assembly

Will Europe’s falling population lead to decline in influence?

 

There are proportionately fewer Europeans in the world and the trend is set to continue, according to research presented to the Parliamentary Assembly.

Population expert Vitalija Gaucaite Wittich told a 15 March Brussels meeting of the Migration Committee that Europeans made up 22 per cent of the world’s human total in 1950. By 2010, that share had dropped to 11 per cent and will be just 8 per cent by 2050 if the trend continues.

“It is not necessarily true that declining population leads to declining power or influence,” said Wittich. “Demography is not destiny. Age-distribution matters more, and non-demographic factors even more.”

Ahmet Icdygu of Turkey’s Koç University said a “long-term vision” was needed to deal with the situation, which should include a range of policies designed to encourage migrant workers, extend working life, manage immigration appropriately and boost fertility.

The Assemhbly will discuss Europe’s declining population at its June session."

 

Even though I understand Wittich's point about in that declining population leads to declining power or influence, it really depends on education and who holds the "reigns of power." Eventually that's going to shift.

 

Back to individualistic wants, life on earth is more than "What do I want to wear today?" "What do I want to do with my body?" "Do I want to have a baby or not?" Some people think in terms of group wants. For example, the British royal couple who are going to get married soon are basically expected to have children, right? I assume their individual wants have nothing to do with that responsibility, though I'm bet both want to have kids. Why is it so important? Because their lineage, their "power", includes their children.

 

Never said it did, but it means you go into those negative consequences willingly. Every choice has potential consequences. That's just fine.

True

 

You think everyone who has sex should want to be pregnant? And every time? That seems very stifling to me. I want maybe 1 kid. So my window for having sex would be, what, a few months? And only once I met someone I would have that 1 kid with? That just seems. . . sad to me.

Um, no. I'm not sure how you came to this conclusion? I personally strongly believe in preventative measures to getting pregnant... birth control pills, condoms, and so on. Everyone who is mature enough to have sex should also be mature enough to take necessary precautions if they do not want to get pregnant at that time. Also, "every time" is unnecessary. Every woman should learn about her menstrual cycle and when are the times more likely to get pregnant. It's really awesome how the female body works and knowledge can help people not worry about "every time" getting pregnant.

 

 

 

Not something we have biological issues with --- the advances of medicine have brought us an abundance of population. We're good on that count. If people were endangered, I would still not be for enslaving people as baby machines, but at least I'd see your practical point. Right now, the greater thread would be overpopulation, not underpopulation (which is not to say I think women in overpopulated areas should be forced to NOT have children they want to have). So, this is just silly.

In China I don't think they see forced abortions to be silly. In certain places around the world, it is interesting how they have less "freedom" in reproduction. In both China and India, sadly many girls are aborted.

 

About overpopulation, I don't think people need to worry so much about that. The reasons I think this are because natural disasters, diseases, and accidents happen. People die. It's the cycle of life.

 

Overpopulation is not really the most important issue. Rather, how people use the earth's resources and take care of the earth is what is more important. Americans, including me, are guilty of using vast quantities of resources and WASTING them. This will affect future generations, whether we like to think of it or not.

 

 

 

No, it's not. Only 28% of science teachers in the U.S. are comfortable teaching it fully on its scientific merits. Just saw the research on this recently at a conference. And they don't teach it at my school. (I'm a teacher, albeit not science.)

Do you teach in a public school?

 

 

Yes, but we don't quite have the freedom, those of us who are not Judeo-Christian. I could lose my job if the school I work for found out I was Buddhist. They just fired a teacher for being Atheist last year (not "officially" of course).

If you are working in a private school where beliefs are important, I would understand. However, if you are working in a public school, that is very surprising and not good. Regardless, in public schools, teachers of different beliefs have been fired too for teaching what they believe.

 

 

Your view, I guess. I'd love it if men were the ones who carried babies.

Lol, I don't think they could handle it!

 

I disagree it's a separate entity, as it is not viable on its own. I've said this several times now.

Of course it is a separate entity. It's not a part of the Mom. It's a new little human, even when in the first stages of development.

 

 

But not a specific one. A newborn is biologically viable on its own. Anyone could care for it.

I wouldn't trust a newborn with "anyone." I wouldn't trust "anyone" with a teenager though either.

 

 

I do. Our bodies are specifically built for sex too. Isn't sex against our will a crime? Our bodies are specifically built for work too? Isn't forcing us to do work against our will a crime? Forcing someone to be pregnant against their will because of YOUR beliefs should be a crime. And a disgusting one at that.

If a woman doesn't want to have sex, of course she should not be forced to. That is rape.

 

If however she wants to have sex with a specific person, and doesn't want to get pregnant, there are many ways she can PREVENT her body, her eggS and her womb, from doing what her body naturally does. Basically, a woman who has sex during the time when her body is naturally doing its job (regardless of whether her mind "wants" to be pregnant or not) should take necessary action to stop her body from doing what it does naturally.

 

So basically, even if the woman's natural body is "wanting' to be pregnant, if a woman's mind doesn't "want" to be pregnant, the woman should take the proper precautions to fight the "battle" with her body.

 

It's much better to PREVENT a little human from beginning its life and stages of development than to kill a little human who is already alive but is still in the early stages of developing. In my opinion, killing a little human, whether in the womb or out of the womb, is disgusting. Killing a human in its first stages of development is only a "necessary evil" in extreme conditions: the life of the Mom is in danger, the Mom was raped, and/or possibly for the fetus having extreme health issues. Abortion needs not be a form of birth control when we can prevent conception from naturally occurring in the first place.

[samspade]

Yes - I am very much pro-abortion.

 

However if you've had unprotected sex, get the morning after pill.

 

But since this is hypothetical - yes, I'd ask her to consider abortion.

[chrissylee]

As I said, finances are not a problem if they choose to give the baby up for adoption. So that's really not a concern and just an excuse.

 

Yes, some people do have morning sickness but it usually only lasts a month or two. The amount of nausea you feel varies from person to person. You might not have it at all or you might only feel nauseated when you first wake up. Some people do have it worse than most but usually it's not a big deal.

 

There are some wonderful things about being pregnant. The first time you feel the baby move is incredible. I had my share of morning sickness, but I missed being pregnant after I had the baby. The feeling was just the most wonderful thing ever and far from the hell you portray.

 

I guess everyone's idea of hell is different. The symptoms of pregnancy sound alot like hell to me. Especially the no sleep and being constapated part while still having to go to work and school or whatever else may be going on in your life. Some women do everything to prevent pregnancy and they still get pregnant. They shouldn't have to put their life on hold for a year for something they did everything to avoid.

[elaina]

Know what's even cheaper than both pregnancy and abortion? Birth control methods. Condoms and spermicide should be good enough for most folks.

Agreed

 

Someone else mentioned that the pro-lifers want to condemn those getting abortions, but want to do nothing to help. Near where I live, there's a gyno office where they do abortions. In the mornings, I often see members of a Catholic church collecting before it to peacefully protest, holding signs about "praying to end abortion."

 

That's nice and all, but it does practically nothing. I'd be happy if they even passed out PAMPHLETS detailing what happens during an abortion, other options for mothers-to-be and who they can call, where they might be able to get job placements/government assistance, etc. If they even did THAT, I would call it something. But many pro-lifers don't.

That reminds me of the movie Juno. Did you see it? It's an awesome movie! I love the actress Ellen Page!

 

One of my friends, who is a Mom with teenagers, volunteers with an organization that is an alternative to Planned Parenthood. It's a pro-life clinic that offers STD tests and treatment with any diseases (for free I think...) Concerning pregnant women who come to the clinic, they offer help with finding a foster family for girls/women who can't or don't want to keep the baby. They also provide support for women who want to keep the baby and help the Mom with childcare services, baby supplies (diapers, wet wipes, and so on) and medical expenses. It's a really good clinic and many Christian doctors, especially in Catholic hospitals, help out with this clinic.

It would be nice to see churches offering intervention services and trying to understand the reasons that women get abortions. More than half of all abortions are for women under the age of 25 - so I'd imagine finances and family judgments play a critical role. What about finding food and living places for these mothers-to-be? Providing emotional and research assistance while searching for prospective adoptive parents? Asking family members to come in and open up about the pregnancy in a safe environment? Everyone wants to condemn the solutions already being used, but no one wants to help with an alternative.

There are a few who do the above, but yes many churches don't. You have a great point and I hope more and more churches get involved in pro-life clinics, that are an alternative to pro-choice. Definitely people of faith (any faith) shouldn't force or bully or insult others who do not want to keep a baby. However, we can most definitely offer alternatives to abortion and help with the needs and not condemn, but rather help if girls/women decide to bring their baby to term and give the baby to a family who can't have kids, or keep their baby.

[purplepanda]

If she's a good person, whether she'll abort it or not, then she'd slap you. NEVER tell a woman that. You could ask, "Are you keeping it?" That's wayyy better.

[Jazzari]

I guess everyone's idea of hell is different. The symptoms of pregnancy sound alot like hell to me. Especially the no sleep and being constapated part while still having to go to work and school or whatever else may be going on in your life. Some women do everything to prevent pregnancy and they still get pregnant. They shouldn't have to put their life on hold for a year for something they did everything to avoid.

I never had those symptoms. I'm sure some do, but even so it would be for a short time only. Even people who have a harder pregnancy don't spend the whole 9 months with hellish symptoms. For me, the good feelings FAR outweighed any discomfort.

 

As for putting 9 months of their life on hold? That's nothing compared to stealing 80+ years of life from someone else.

[chrissylee]

I never had those symptoms. I'm sure some do, but even so it would be for a short time only. Even people who have a harder pregnancy don't spend the whole 9 months with hellish symptoms. For me, the good feelings FAR outweighed any discomfort.

 

As for putting 9 months of their life on hold? That's nothing compared to stealing 80+ years of life from someone else.

 

 

Insomnia, even for a short time is hell. Birth control pills gave me horrible insomnia and I can't imagine the hell I would be in if I had to go through that again, but I couldn't take anything for it. At least with the bc I was able to stop taking them and get my life back, however it would be impossible to do that being pregnant.

 

You aren't really taking 80+ years from someone because if done early enough in the pregnancy its not a human life.(at least in my opinon)

[tinktronik]

I never had those symptoms. I'm sure some do, but even so it would be for a short time only. Even people who have a harder pregnancy don't spend the whole 9 months with hellish symptoms. For me, the good feelings FAR outweighed any discomfort.

 

As for putting 9 months of their life on hold? That's nothing compared to stealing 80+ years of life from someone else.

 

These are all things that you have decided work for YOU. They don't work for everyone. I, for one, am very glad that your spirituality and process of belief don't get to make certain choices in MY life. Make those choices for yourself, I'm all fine and dandy with that. But leave others to decide what works or does not work for them.

[Art_Critic]

These are all things that you have decided work for YOU. They don't work for everyone. I, for one, am very glad that your spirituality and process of belief don't get to make certain choices in MY life. Make those choices for yourself, I'm all fine and dandy with that. But leave others to decide what works or does not work for them.

 

..........

[Kelemort]

If you're getting nausea and other symptoms while you're on birth control, that's expected during the first three months. But if it persists, it's time to try a different formula.

 

I've been on Orthocept (monophasic pills - 3 weeks of active pills and one week of inactive pills) for about 2 months. I've not had any side effects that I can think about. I've heard Orthocept is supposed to be a good starter for people who haven't previously been on birth control. I've heard that triphasic pills and pills that give you seasonal periods and the like are the most likely to cause you side effects.

 

Besides that, there are plenty of nonhormonal birth control options - male and female condoms, spermicide, diaphragms, the sponge, the 'pull-out' method (PLEASE use that one safely), family awareness method (this one too), breastfeeding, etc. For a long time I used condoms and spermicide and never had a problem. I now use those along with birth control.

 

I had a pregnancy scare that I can think of ONCE - I was a week late. But that was soon after I started having sex, so I think I was paranoid, and until then I had never really watched my cycle. I think it was more accurate that I had a highly stressful life at the time, so I had a 34-35 day cycle. Uh, sorry for the TMI. Just sayin'.

 

Pregnancy is Hell, but there are too many ways to prevent it to have any excuses. If this were the early '60s and the people were only prescribed to married women - and given in the early '60s it was a more conservative culture - I could better excuse women getting pregnant and going to get an abortion. But there's simply too much information and ease of access to explain it away now. Most people probably live within 5 - 15 miles of a Planned Parenthood clinic, or another similar clinic, like one of the other posters here mentioned. If nothing else, you can always call PP and ask them to refer you to a closer doctor.

 

200x over I'd rather deal with the initial embarrassment of going into a Planned Parenthood clinic, admitting I'm sexually active (and my story is way tamer than what they see there, I'm sure - I've only had intercourse with one person) and getting birth control than to ever have an abortion.

 

I've dealt with some folks who act like abortion is no big deal. And I've encountered others whose lives practically ended when they have an abortion. I've had friends and acquaintances who will, every year, mention how old their babies would have been had they carried the child to term. They're still keeping track years down the road. That's some food for thought - once you're pregnant, you're pregnant, and that will never go away regardless of what you do. Your decisions either way will stick with you.

 

For me personally, I'd have much rather looked into my options as far as adoption goes. Even there prospective adoptive parents will pay for most or all of your medical fees while you're pregnant in certain set-ups. For low-income women, especially if they're unmarried, there's government assistance, etc.

 

Yes, I have seen Juno - I hated the movie but I do like the scene where the girl's telling her her baby has toenails. How many people even know what the embryo is capable of during that first trimester? What it looks like? What actually happens during the procedure? I know some states have enacted laws requiring waiting periods and even watching instructional videos before obtaining an abortion, but I doubt that's everywhere.

 

Everyone has differing views on when life begins - for me, I consider that implantation in the uterus (about a week or so after sex). From then on, it's no longer a game of chance - it's nestled where it's going to be and it's going to take form. If abortions are going to happen, I'd hope they happen sooner rather than later. I think that two months is the cut-off. At that point, to me it's no doubt life.

Edited April 21, 2011 by Kelemort

[strawberrysweet]

If a guy EVER asked me to abort a pregnancy, even if it was already my intention to do so, I'd never speak to him again.

 

Amen. Her body, her choice. You chose to have unsafe sex, takes two to tango.