Eclypse Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 (edited) Seeing as baby making is 2 person process, both people should have a say in the matter. A lot of women assume right away the baby is hers and hers only. That said though obviously I or no one else can force her to do it. I would state my opinion and let her decide. Luckily though my gf told me right away she'd abort if she got pregnant. Now i have an imteresting question. What if the woman wants to abort, while the man tells her he wants to keep it and raise it? Would he still be an ass and dumped right away in that situation? Edited April 17, 2011 by Eclypse
skydiveaddict Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 if you actually believed that I have stock in abortion tools, I have a bridge I can sell ya. Youre one of those gullible guys that attacks abortion doctors, arent you? Oh really, you were kidding? Oh gee, I would never have guessed. And no, I don't attack abortionists. I own a chain of abortion clinics
westernxer Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I own a chain of abortion clinics Are the front doors welded shut? LOL
skydiveaddict Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Are the front doors welded shut? LOL Hmm, I might have to consider that.
chuckles11 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Her body. Her decision. If you ask her to abort and she is your girlfriend, prepare to be dumped. I'm with Star Gazer on this one. If you ask her to abort. You. Are. An. A s s. This is just silly. The fact that it's a women decision doesn't mean that a guy shouldn't have an opinion on whether or not he's going to spend the next 18 years raising a child.
chuckles11 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 If a guy EVER asked me to abort a pregnancy, even if it was already my intention to do so, I'd never speak to him again. Why? I don't understand this. So if you don't want to have a kid it's ok, but if he doesn't want to have one, he's a bad person?
Jazzari Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Her body. Her decision. If you ask her to abort and she is your girlfriend, prepare to be dumped. I'm with Star Gazer on this one. If you ask her to abort. You. Are. An. A s s. I disagree with the "her body, her decision". First off, it's the baby's body - a whole separate person who just happens to be living in the mother's body for a short time. And for another, its just as much the father's child as it is the mother's. This is not like a girl's arm or leg. It's a separate person who should have rights. I don't agree with abortion but I have less problems within the first month. And anything after the first trimester is just murder, IMHO.
makelemonade1974 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Are you a woman? Have you ever been pregnant? I have. Six times. I have three beautiful children, had one abortion when I was 18, and two miscarriages before my third child. Being pregnant is something that happens exclusively to a woman's body, and what happens inside that body is none of your business. Women not only carry the child (which is no picnic), they breastfeed them and do most of the caring for them in the early years of their life - with or without father. They also risk their lives giving birth to them. You make a decision when you don't wear a condom, or when you enter into a sexual relationship with the knowledge that pregnancy could happen. This is a pretty heavy convo for a loveshack thread. Politics, euthanasia, abortion, religion - you don't talk about such things with friends.
Mangomonkey Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I have a question. Since i see so many people are against abortion. If a woman gets raped and gets pregnant. Should she get an abortion? If a man gets raped and gets the woman pregnant. Should he force her to get an abortion?
Jazzari Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Are you a woman? Have you ever been pregnant? I have. Six times. I have three beautiful children, had one abortion when I was 18, and two miscarriages before my third child. Being pregnant is something that happens exclusively to a woman's body, and what happens inside that body is none of your business. Women not only carry the child (which is no picnic), they breastfeed them and do most of the caring for them in the early years of their life - with or without father. They also risk their lives giving birth to them. You make a decision when you don't wear a condom, or when you enter into a sexual relationship with the knowledge that pregnancy could happen. This is a pretty heavy convo for a loveshack thread. Politics, euthanasia, abortion, religion - you don't talk about such things with friends.I've been pregnant and have one child. Wish I could have had more. Being pregnant is not exclusive to the woman's body. It's a shared experience between the woman and the child. Two bodies - not one. The father helped create that child. He not only shares responsibility for its creation but for its development - before and after birth. He doesn't have the right to demand an abortion, but I do think he has a right to protect its life.
makelemonade1974 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 (edited) Oh Jesus, this is just ridiculous. For the OP - talk to your girlfriend in a sensitive manner about your feelings and her feelings. I apologize if I got a little riled up. My rights as a woman are important to me. Abortion is an ugly thing - I think most people would at least agree on that - liberal or conservative. Jazzari - I agree to an extent. It's a tricky situation. Edited April 17, 2011 by makelemonade1974
Jazzari Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I have a question. Since i see so many people are against abortion. If a woman gets raped and gets pregnant. Should she get an abortion? If a man gets raped and gets the woman pregnant. Should he force her to get an abortion?Those are really hard questions. I'm against abortion but I would never try to prevent someone from aborting a child due to rape or because of medical reasons. For the rape, the woman should take a morning after pill to avoid abortion if possible. As for the second scenario, I would agree that the man has the right to force an abortion. I don't like it but I can't fault someone for it. In both cases, I would agree only if the abortion could be done within the first trimester.
Jazzari Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Oh Jesus, this is just ridiculous. For the OP - talk to your girlfriend in a sensitive manner about your feelings and her feelings. I apologize if I got a little riled up. My rights as a woman are important to me. Abortion is an ugly thing - I think most people would at least agree on that - liberal or conservative. Jazzari - I agree to an extent. It's a tricky situation.Abortion is a sensitive and difficult topic - no apologies necessary on my part. Side stepping a little here but...when do you think an individual life (with all the rights) occurs? At conception? When there is brain activity? When the fetus is viable? At the time of birth? And taking it a bit further...when does the soul (if you believe in that) enter the body?
Lilmisus Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I have a question. Since i see so many people are against abortion. If a woman gets raped and gets pregnant. Should she get an abortion? If a man gets raped and gets the woman pregnant. Should he force her to get an abortion? It's not just black and white like that. There's no "she should" or "she shouldn't" when it comes to getting impregnated after being raped. It's completely, 100% her decision, and no one can say yes or no unless they've been in that position. I feel though (let's hope and pray it doesn't happen) that if I got pregnant after getting raped, that I would want to have the child and put it up for adoption. I don't think I could look at him/her every day, but I also don't think that I could abort him/her for something that they had no control over. Like I said, if it risks my life, or doesn't have at least a chance of a healthy life, then I'd abort, but only then.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 (edited) I feel though (let's hope and pray it doesn't happen) that if I got pregnant after getting raped, that I would want to have the child and put it up for adoption. I don't think I could look at him/her every day, but I also don't think that I could abort him/her for something that they had no control over. Like I said, if it risks my life, or doesn't have at least a chance of a healthy life, then I'd abort, but only then. This is why abortion is necessary. Its completely ridiculous to gestate a child just to send it out to the world and say "im done with you, good luck! i didnt abort you, so my conceince is clear!". Thats not responsible at all. No child should be born just for a principle. If you are going to have the baby, you should have to rasie that baby. Rape or not. Too many kids thrown into foster care never get adopted and their lives are crap. If youre not going to get an abortion, and you want to carry it to term, you shouldnt be able to just toss it out to the world, you need to take responsibility for it. Although white babies are in high demand from barren couples. Edited April 17, 2011 by Eddie Edirol
NoMagicBullet Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Now of days it is so easy to prevent pregnancy that the only reason I can see for a girl to get pregnant is because she wants to be. Between birth control, condoms and pulling out - there shouldn't be any excuse. I can only assume that if she does get pregnant, she chose to. In which case she would not want to abort it - so asking her to would just be a d*ck move. So in short, no, I would not ask her to abort. This is BS. Some women have bad reactions to the hormones in the pills, shots, etc. Other methods (sponges, spermicidal gels, etc) have their cons, too. Pulling out is far from 100% effective -- if this is all a couple is doing, pregnancy is likely an issue of "when", not "if". And even condoms must be used properly and consistently to be effective. My point is -- things like offspring can happen even with birth control, and not because the woman chose to get pregnant. That said, there are women who do choose to get pregnant without consulting their partner. But we have no reason to believe that the OP's girlfriend did that. There is no reason to say that she chose to get pregnant because she is pregnant; saying the OP chose to get his girlfriend pregnant because he wasn't using condoms is just as valid an argument. Although it's too late for the OP, just a reminder to all the men out there: if you don't want to risk an unexpected pregnancy -- and possible child support payments -- use condoms. That way you know birth control is being used. (But accidents can still happen....) Unfortunately, condoms and vasectomy are pretty much the only effective methods that men have control over, but at least men have options. Get over the myth that birth control is solely the woman's responsibility. You have choices, too. To the OP and his original question: No. The two of you need to discuss all of your options, including abortion, but asking her to have one is a bad idea. Just out of curiosity, if you did ask her for it and she agreed, would you pay the entire cost of the abortion?
musemaj11 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I laugh at idiots who equate removing an embryo with killing a baby. Under similar rule, everytime you jack off, you kill millions of babies.
ascendotum Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Her body. Her decision. If you ask her to abort and she is your girlfriend, prepare to be dumped. I'm with Star Gazer on this one. If you ask her to abort. You. Are. An. A s s. His jism, his dna, the next 18 yrs of his future and likely beyond and his money. You think its your exclusive decision to make, well you're wrong! The man has every right to voice his opinion (tactfully) about a matter that has/could have a great bearing on his life. As someone suggested if the guy wanted the baby and the woman didn't because of her personal circumstances or her aspirations or the guy's inadequacy for being a good provider or father, I don't expect 100% of women would go ahead and have the child for the man (these days anyway in affluent societies). This situation could easily involve a guy who has only been going out with you for just a short while who is incompatible in many ways but you are banging because he is hot in bed. The length of the relationship does have a bearing on the ability to request this...imo. If both are totally in love with each other then you will deal with the unexpected, but many relationships are not the ideal. Do you want to marry this guy now for the rest of your life. If the guy mentions abortion and you cut off contact with him and call him an arsehole, I wonder would you also still be prepared to stick to your guns and not ask for $ support from him or the taxpayer. Will it then go from my baby to our baby. Like EE I like to establish with my women what her views are about children before I get serious, so I know where I stand if this incident were to occur, though there is no guarantees, knowing other women that changed their mind about never wanting children once they become pregnant. If you do not want to be a lifelong parent with the person you are having sex with, you must use your head and use contraception, and again there is no 100% guarantees there.
Allisha Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 (edited) If a guy EVER asked me to abort a pregnancy, even if it was already my intention to do so, I'd never speak to him again. Are you saying that if he simply brought the idea up as an option, maturely, you'd never speak to him again? Or does it depend on HOW he asks you? I think it would be quite selfish of you to not listen to the father at all, as you would be JUST as responsible for getting pregnant as he is for making you pregnant. Why do some women feel like it's only their opinion that matters? Edited April 17, 2011 by Allisha
Lilmisus Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Are you saying that if he simply brought the idea up as an option, maturely, you'd never speak to him again? Or does it depend on HOW he asks you? If a guy told me "here's x amount of money, go get an abortion" then I wouldn't want him in my life at all, and I know girls who have had guys say that to them; or give them half of what it would cost. Or if he told me that there was no way in hell that he would have a child, then I also wouldn't want him in my life. I know women who have raised a child (or so) on their own, and though it's a very hard job to do, I'd be willing to do it as opposed to having someone like that in a child's life. If though, we sat down and were discussing options and what we wanted for our future and the child's, and he simply suggested it, then depending on how he phrased it and if he gave me an honest chance at voicing my opinion (as opposed to just saying "get it"), then I wouldn't feel that way. There's a difference between telling someone to have an abortion, and maturely suggesting it.
musemaj11 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Im fine with guys who play a lot of women. A man who wont limit himself to one woman is a smart man. But I f-ing hate guys who have sex without protection, get a woman pregnant, and wont be responsible for it. I f-ing hate them. They are ruining not only the life of the woman, but also the childs.
mogul Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 If I am with a serious girlfriend and she got pregnant, I will take full responsibility to the best of my abilities as I am financially secure and have no excuse. I always use protection, and if it was with a serious gf I trust I will not use a condom but she will be on the pill. However, if I am with a random one nighter or a girl I am dating, I will ask her for an abortion but the decision will ultimately be up to her and I will respect it. I do not want a child to hold me down with some one I am not serious with.
MarlyStar Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Don't ask. She knows abortion is an option. If you ask and she keeps it, you will be the bad guy forever--"Your father wanted to kill you". It doesn't matter if you marry and live happily ever after or if you never see her again and just send a check. You will forever be the bad guy. Let her bring the issue up.
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