Jerrica Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I had to contact my ex about the remainder of his things, to tell him what time he could come tomorrow. He was overly nice and flexible. So nice, it's like he was his old self again. I SOOOOOO wanted to just talk to him like we used to, it was so hard not to. I still love him after about 2 months of break up. I'm crying right now and would do anything to have him back. But I know I can't! I almost feel like we just broke up all over again. It's almost harder when he's being so nice, it makes me wonder why he all of a sudden is being so nice to me? Is he totally over it now? I liked it better when he was angry and bitter, at least I knew he still cared. When does it get easier?
Movingthrough Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I had to contact my ex about the remainder of his things, to tell him what time he could come tomorrow. He was overly nice and flexible. So nice, it's like he was his old self again. I SOOOOOO wanted to just talk to him like we used to, it was so hard not to. I still love him after about 2 months of break up. I'm crying right now and would do anything to have him back. But I know I can't! I almost feel like we just broke up all over again. It's almost harder when he's being so nice, it makes me wonder why he all of a sudden is being so nice to me? Is he totally over it now? I liked it better when he was angry and bitter, at least I knew he still cared. When does it get easier? This is always the problem with getting things back and trying to contact ex's after the fact. From this point on do not see him, do not contact him, use someone or something else for his stuff. Hes not "over you" but if he was truthfully being nice and mature, then he is trying to heal like you. You dont want him back, you want it back like it "was", but there is no way that can happen because it is already over. You have to sit down and think of the reason you split, that reason is still there, and from this point on stop the contact.
smudge21 Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 When does it get easier? I'd love the answer to that one myself. From memory (a past relationship breakup) it happened over time with plenty of NC. I just knew there was a time when I no longer thought about her. It was wierd, no longer caring, but it just happened - I can't say it was an actually day, as I think these things just fade slowly rather then just stop. So that's what keeps me strong now, knowing that the same will happen again. However, it also upsets me as knowing that soon the current ex will mean nothing to me is hard to accept, but accept it I must. Breaking NC, whether through social websites, texting or meeting up will always set you back and end up hurting more. Remember that hurt each time you're tempted to make contact and turn it into strength. You will get past this and like me come out a better person. Good luck.
SingVoice Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Jerrica that is the whole cycle of an abuser. He gets angry and pissed off...then all the sudden he is sweet and nice just like the person he was when you fell in love with him. But you have to remember...that the monster ALWAYS comes back. I know its hard...and I know I have said this to you before...but you WILL be ok. And once you have completely gone NC...you'll gain some clarity and see what a horrible person he was to you. I know he has been dragging out the "getting his stuff" crap...but seriously...you would be much further along in this if you just stopped talking to him. You have to get to the point where you accept that its over and deal with your feelings. Trust me...when you reach the point of clarity you'll be so glad you don't have to deal with his anger issues anymore. I loved someone for 3 years who was an abuser. And it was SO hard....because I DID love him. A LOT. But I am SOOOOOOOO much happier now. And I still can't believe I let him treat me the way he did. You'll get to that point too.
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