rhonian Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I have been NC with my "ex" for 19 days now.... We had been together for 2.5 years and had our wonderful loving times and a few rough patches to go with it. 19 days ago the relationship was "normal" with no real issues to deal with. It was an LDR the whole time to which we were both struggling with and the fact that I was not willing to quit my job and relocate and she couldnt move to me because of her son legally having to be near his father. Fast forward.... On April 28th, we woke up and went downstairs to eat breakfast. We were having a conversation about something and making morning talk. In the conversation, I asked, "I dont know if I should walk the dog now or take a shower and then walk him?" (Its 930am) She replies, "Just walk him now and get it over with." I said, "okay." She went upstairs to begin her workday and I got side-tracked when I went down into the basement to check on the leak with her washing machine that I attempted to fix the night before. I checked the caulk that I sealed it with and it had cured pretty solidly. So, I decided to wash a load of clothes to "test" the washing machine. I laid down on the couch while the machine did its thing and 25mins later no leak, it was fixed! About that time, she walks down the stairs to the basement and sees me laying on the couch and the conversation goes like this: Her: What are you doing? Me: I just checked on the washing machine. Washed a load of clothes and there was no leak. Looks like its fixed. (not even a thank you) Her: Did you walk the dog? Me: No Her: Why not? Me: Because I checked the washer and now its 11am and I want to watch my favorite fishing show. Her: Dont you know anything about dogs? Me: I know plenty, why? Her: Dogs need to be walked and he hasnt been walked yet! Me: I will walk the dog in 30mins when this show is over at 1130. (dog asleep at my feet on the couch) Her: You are a f-ing a-hole! Me: Why do you have to call me names? This is about control. Me doing what you want me to do when you want me to do it. If you want the dog walked then walk him yourself, otherwise, he gets walked at 1130. Her: He needs to be walked 3xs a day. Nevermind, I will walk him. Me: Okay. Her: You are a f-ing a-hole! Me. Just go upstairs and finish working and I will walk him when this show is over. Or, you can walk him now. Your choice. Her: If that is going to be your attitude then you can leave and go home. 10 second pause..... I get off the couch go upstairs, gather my things and went home. We have not spoken since. So, my question is? Who was the dumper, who was the dumpee? I had no closure.....and its driving me nuts. I want to talk to her to make sure that we are not really ending a 2.5yrs relationship over walking the dog. I also feel that I must remain NC because she was at fault here. Thanks for your help......
nana841121 Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 She overreacted in the first place. You know it's easy to find an excuse to break up. if she isn't being honest with her feeling to you, you can just walk away, it doesn't matter who is the dumper or dumpee. As long as you are honest and open with yourself and your feeling. See what she will do about it
Eddie Edirol Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 If you are worried about ending the relationship over waling the dog, then you are the dumpee. Plus she did kick you out. You dont sound that broken up about it though. It does sound like she used that as an excuse to break it off.
Author rhonian Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 Sorry, folks, I left out something in my post. Over the course of the relationship we have this agreement that whoever "ends things" / "ends communication" they are responsible for re-establishing contact/communication. For example, if we are arguing on the phone and she hangs up on me than she is the one who needs to call back and re-establish communication. If we are arguing and I walk out and go home then I need to come back or call her and fix things. That is the reason for my post. I need to know if Iam missing something to where she could see it as I was the one who ended things by leaving that day. I dont see how she could see it that way because the only reason I left was because she told me to and while I was packing my bag (not saying a word) she took my housekeys off her ring and put them on the table.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Wow she is really done with you. Sounds like shes the dumper, and by your agreement, she has to re-establish communication. Doesnt sound like she will though, and people changes their rules in a breakup, so dont expect a call.
Author rhonian Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 Tks, EE, thats exactly what I thought and wanted to hear! She ended things. I know her and I know that its her ego stopping her from beginning the "make-up" process and that is a stressful/exhausting battle of the mind. You confirmed just how miserable she is at this very minute and the last 19 days......tks again. Made my day so much better......
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