mysticmeg1 Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 This is not a problem more of a rant! I was listning to our local radio the other day and a recent survey showed the amount of people who have broken up because of facebook! The strain it has caused on marrige's and relationships The most common problem was the dreaded EX or EX'S! who here( and be honest) are threatned by his/her past flings? i mean me and my boyfriend both have facebook page's and thankfully not friends with any of our ex's I was shocked to hear about the marrige's that had fallen apart!! and blamed it on '' facebook'', i mean thats like blaming the phone for calling an ex right? one woman phoned in caught her husband cheating via facebook (he was on a computer at work and she was logged in as him at home) she read out all their chat stream..and i have to say it was fairly distressing I myself never felt the need to worry about my boyfriend but it did get me thinking....ok so its a great site to find old friends that have parted and its great to stay connected..however is it worth the pain it can cause in a relationship?? i mean why do people want to connect with their ex's their your ex for a reason after all!
Cerpin_Taxt Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 This is not a problem more of a rant! I was listning to our local radio the other day and a recent survey showed the amount of people who have broken up because of facebook! The strain it has caused on marrige's and relationships The most common problem was the dreaded EX or EX'S! who here( and be honest) are threatned by his/her past flings? i mean me and my boyfriend both have facebook page's and thankfully not friends with any of our ex's I was shocked to hear about the marrige's that had fallen apart!! and blamed it on '' facebook'', i mean thats like blaming the phone for calling an ex right? one woman phoned in caught her husband cheating via facebook (he was on a computer at work and she was logged in as him at home) she read out all their chat stream..and i have to say it was fairly distressing I myself never felt the need to worry about my boyfriend but it did get me thinking....ok so its a great site to find old friends that have parted and its great to stay connected..however is it worth the pain it can cause in a relationship?? i mean why do people want to connect with their ex's their your ex for a reason after all! I don't think a website can ruin anything that wasn't ruined to begin with. If the relationship is teetering on the edge, it only needs one tiny push to send it over. Sometimes Facebook is that push, but I don't think it's ever what ruined a relationship.
LeaningIntoTheMuse Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 It certainly has ruined friendships for me.
Engadget Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Facebook stalks me for my girlfriend, it's kind of creepy. Anything I do on there comes up first on her feed which is weird. Not that I have anything to worry about, it's just odd that it does that because we're in a relationship.
nessaaa Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Everytime my bf adds a new girl..i wonder who she is and how he knows her. Drives me nuts I hate. I deleted my facebook.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Facebook doesnt kill relationships, people kill relationships. Its because they dont communicate, which is kinda ironic in this case.
zebracolors Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 I don't think a website can ruin anything that wasn't ruined to begin with. If the relationship is teetering on the edge, it only needs one tiny push to send it over. Sometimes Facebook is that push, but I don't think it's ever what ruined a relationship. Yes if a person is going to make the conscious decision to cheat, they'd probably do it anyway if they use Facebook or not. They'd find other ways to contact EXs or other men/women. It might mean there is potentially a underlying problem in the relationship already. And it can be found out when the cheater is not being careful like the one FB story, which can be that little push over the edge. As for couples who are on Facebook together well its their choice, but you better hope that there is plenty of communication, and honesty.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 is facebook ruining relationships? No, thankfully the clueless fools who are on Facebook are ruining their own relationships.
betterdeal Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 It definitely creates an opportunity and, like FriendsReunited before it, it is instrumental in many relationship collapses. To say it doesn't have an influence is too simplistic. A drug dealer influences someone's choice to self-medicate by virtue of making the medicine available. A gun influences someone's choice to go on a killing spree at their school by virtue of enabling them to do it without being physically able to themselves. Just because most people are emotionally sophisticated enough to know the difference between entertainment and real life, it doesn't mean everyone is. If you look for the effect of TV arriving in Bhutan, for example, you can see there was a corresponding rise in violent crime. The genie is out of the bottle. The horse has bolted. Better education and realisation of our emotional intelligence are the best responses to new technology. Giving people the tools to make wiser decisions is the only sensible way to counter foolish decisions.
Kelemort Posted April 18, 2011 Posted April 18, 2011 Facebook is simply the tool by which people ruin their relationships. I still remember the ice-cold sensation when my boyfriend's interest in his ex mounted and he told me that she was his friend on Facebook. I think he was trying to ease my fears after he dropped this bomb on me (a year into our relationship, and i thought they hadn't talked in all that time) and asked if I wanted to see her profile. #%$(@ NO! He finally de-friended her 2 years into our relationship, right when I was about ready to kick his ass to the curb.
Author mysticmeg1 Posted April 19, 2011 Author Posted April 19, 2011 so people have mixed views about it then, i dont agree either that fb is all to blame if people wanted to cheat they'd go ahead and do it anyway fb or not they would find other ways i just dont understand the concept of seeking for the ''ex'' i live in a small village and see most of my ex's everyday AND THATS ENOUGH FOR ME:laugh: but i wouldnt dream of adding them on facebook.
creighton0123 Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 I think as a species we're more than capable of surviving romance and procreation in the age of facebook.
laRubiaBonita Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Facebook is Darwinism... Survival of the Fittest
PegNosePete Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 i mean thats like blaming the phone for calling an ex right? Precisely.
betterdeal Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Back in the olden days, in my early twenties, we didn't have mobile phones or email. You give someone a gun and they are more likely to shoot up their school. That's probably why they don't let us have nuclear weapons, even though we need them to maintain freedom from tyranny of the state.
orangelady Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 It certainly has ruined friendships for me. Hmm in what way?
orangelady Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 People writing offensive stuff on their 'walls', or his friends hitting on the girl(s) he wanted, without telling him anything about it. It happens all the time on facebook. Its quite amusing to see how strong relationships are, when its possible to find a new boyfriend/girlfriend in a matter of minutes, nowadays. Well that happens in real life too, you know.
orangelady Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Indeed it does, but facebook is like a shop. You browse a person's pictures and decide if the person is attractive enough. Matter of fact, there was a big scandal in my Country of origin that had its birth at facebook(or was it hi5?). A Portuguese model had his own page(just for his friends, but open to everyone) on facebook, and a guy who was famous for his connections in the fashion world saw it. He sent an add friends invite, and the model accepted it. Two days or so later the kid sent a message thanking him for inviting him. ONE week after, they are exchanging love messages on face book. Months later the male model kills the guy because they had a deal going on: the older guy would have free sex from the guy and the guy would be introduced to the greater fashion world. The old man(he was in his 60's, the model is 20 years old or something), never intended on giving to the kid what he wanted, so the kid, completely maddened for having sex with him, and being used, picked up a computer and killed the old man with it, and he also mutilated the old man's body. Ain't facebook great? As I've always said. some men use it to try and get sex, others use it to get sex. Many women use it to get male attention, and many use it to see what their family is doing. Facebook and everything related to social networks bring more trouble than reward. Well that kind of stuff happens even if Facebook didn't exist. So far, in my experience, no guy has tried to get sex from me on Facebook and I did not let any of my family members find or add me. I think that's best. When I have nobody to talk to, Facebook was there. Sigh yeah, pathetic but...that's how it is.
orangelady Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Guns won't kill you if they don't exist. Yes, you might get killed by a man with a rock, but you won't be killed by a gun. Strange. The most average of woman in facebook is like honey to a bear. I remember when facebook first began, the younger women were all over that as if it was crack, and of course the younger guys were all over that too. But for other reasons. Guns are not Facebook. Well, to be honest, on my FB..it's mostly older people like in their 50s...so..I don't know what you're trying to prove here, but obviously I'm a living proof that your generalization is wrong.
PegNosePete Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Guns won't kill you if they don't exist. Yes, you might get killed by a man with a rock, but you won't be killed by a gun. Yep exactly. If someone wants to kill you, they will find a way. If they don't want to kill you then it doesn't matter whether they have a rock or a gun.
orangelady Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I'm saying that its already easy enough to cheat without facebook in the scene, it gets far more easier when you(not necessarily you) can turn the computer on and have 100000 guys or gals commenting on how good looking you are etc. Like the gun. A soldier can easily kill without a gun, but give him a bazooka and he'll take down an entire regiment. Yeah but man, is that all you think about? Cheating?
orangelady Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 Man, was that something to laugh at. I would, if I wasn't afraid for my teeth or something You're just like every other guy. Funny thing was, the young men my age or a little bit older were too intimidated by the young woman, but this old, bald guy, thought he could get some of that. Coz the old man knows he has nothing to lose at his age.
orangelady Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 I am 'cause I don't want to lose all the money I've invested on these pearly whites But man, that woman was so fine, I'm talking about, being more fine than the women in those Victoria's catalogs, by far. That guy who got her pregnant had to be some young Paul Newman or some old Donald Trump . The old man has nothing to lose? He has his practice. He has his wife. He has his children, all grown up of course, but if the man cheated on their mother they'd undoubtedly take the mother's side, and naturally so. These young guys don't even have a penny to rub against another, so I don't see what they have to lose. Maybe their pride, but they are young. They have plenty of that. booooooooooooooooooooringgggggggggggggggggggggggggg. You're just shallow.
orangelady Posted April 20, 2011 Posted April 20, 2011 And not afraid of being honest about it So? Do you want a reward? This is why older guys are just much more respectable and desirable.
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 (edited) I can understand why Facebook negatively effects relationships. But it does depend ON the relationship. I got FB before my ex and I preferred the sight when he WASN'T on it. When he was, I found myself over time becoming a bit stalkerish. If he was on FB and didn't comment, I would think, why didn't he think of me? If he had loads of female FB friends who I didn't know, I'd feel suspicious. If he commented on these girls walls, I'd think, how does he know these people? Etc etc... I think facebook CAN bring out the worst in a person. It actively encourages 'stalking' of past friends, relationships and people. If it was a place for friends, people would have about 50 friends listed MAX...people don't have 1000 plus friends in real life, so why do some on facebook? Its to snoop, be nosey, stalk, investigate...and we do it with our relationships as well. Not everyone does of course, but I found it brought out those traits in me. Its just information on a persons whole social life (if they post and use FB a lot) so if you are close to a person or curious about them, its a goldmine of information. Hard to resist if you feel jealous/nosy/insecure. I think the difference between the phone and facebook, is that chances are, you wont remember your exes number, or an old schoolfriend. On FB, all you need to remember is the name and surname, sometimes you don't even need to know that, you'll see them on ANOTHER friends profile. Also, you aren't so likely to call up an old schoolfriend, or distant cousin, or ex and 'catch up'. FB is a safe way to satisfy your curiosity about what a person has done with their life without them even needing to know. It's voyeurism. It's basically for people who don't REALLY want to get in touch with each other, but want to know what everyone else is doing. Edited April 22, 2011 by Nikki Sahagin
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