Ayla Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 So, a while ago I wrote about a guy who I had been getting to know (a friend of my brothers) who had split from his ex of 10 years and the mother of his 5 year old daughter as she had cheated on him and is now engaged to that guy. Background: We first kissed in a carpark after a mutal friends wedding. And then for the next 2 months we got to know each other more. We never had sex, but did everything but that. I did not just want to sleep with anyone, and he did not want to just yet as he respected me and also my brother. I really thought this was sweet, as when we did have sex it meant something to him and I was not just one of his one night stands. I was ready to have sex with him. The way he looked at me and the way we were when we were together was beautiful, it was like there was no one else in the room. When we were alone we talked and talked...and I loved spending time with his daughter. He had talked with my brother and told him that he liked me but as lost and confused but never would disrespect me. He also met my parents. On my birthday he called me and I also spoke with his daughter as she wanted to say happy birthday to me (as far as she knew we were just friends). He also confirmed that he was coming to my birthday party on the weekend. On the day of my party he texted me telling me he was not coming - I was rather hurt, but his daughter wanted to see her grandparents and that is more important. Fast forward 2 weeks later and I suggested catching up the following day (he lives 1.5 hours from me). He said he was keen. The next day we were talking times so it was still happening. He messaged me in the afternoon asking what time I would need to head home. I told him, and waited for a reply. I got nothing, then I messaged him to confirm what time we would be meeting. No reply. He also did not respond to my call. I knew that he had some baggage and was still sorting out some stuff. Obviously the above does not tell the full story, but I felt that he was not ready for anything and I did not want to get hurt again, so I emailed him a really nice email letting him know that I liked him, but he was not ready for anything. I also mentioned that when he was ready perhaps we could get to know each other again. It was a very hard email to write, but very heartfelt, and he would not have been able to read that email without knowing how I felt (that I liked him a lot - probably too much). To this I got no reply. 1.5 months later: I went away for a months holiday shortly after, and when I came home it was my brothers birthday party. And the guy was invited. Apparently he was really looking forward to seeing me. At the party he ame over, put his arm around me and gave me a kiss hello. I was so nervous!! He was looking at me all the time, and sometimes stood near me. My brothers girlfriend said it was like the wedding (mentioned above) all over again where it was obvious we both wanted to be near each other and talk but no one made the first move. When I left I messaged him and said that it was good to see him and said sorry we didn;t get to catch up. I aso asked about his daughter as she had just started school. he replied immediately saying it was good to see me to, and he would have liked to have talked and heard about my trip, but he understood if I was a little aloof. I replied about his daughter and also said that I was a little shy to talk to him. I later found out that a male friend had spoken to him that day as he said it was "clear as f**king day that he liked me as much as I liked him". The conversation was this: Friend: You need to get your s**t together soon. Him: Yeah, I know. We will see what happens Friend: I respect that, and I know that you have been through some rough stuff, but she is a top girl. Him: I agree. Time will tell. Friend: Ok, just don't hurt her ok. She has been through enough hurt. Him: I won't, don't worry. We will just see what happens in time. Currently: Now he is currently in the US on a months holiday by himself....before he left I wished him a great holiday, and "maybe when he got back we could catch up for coffee - I will leave that up to you". He replied with a "thanks heaps...coffee sounds good" I know he has been through a really tough time, and is not ready for anything, I am hoping this holiday will allow him to get some peace in his mind and get some perspective. I am sure that he is also having a few one night stands - which sometimes gets to me, as he did not want to have sex with me. I know I can not get my hopes up, and it might not turn into anything. I am just keeping occassional lines of communication open and otherwise getting on with my life. Is there anything I can do, or am I doing the right things?
nana841121 Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I think you are doing the right thing. what he has been through is a 10-year-marriage, which is not a small deal. Be careful, slow things down , don't keep your hope high. cause it might be his rebounding relationship No rush.
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