Stephm Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 My boyfriend and I recently broke up from a 3 1/2 year long,crazy,unstable,bonnie and clyde type of relationship. I was 21 when we got together and he was 28 and it was love at first sight for me, I have never felt the way I did for him or even close to it in any type of way with anyone. We worked together and started out as friends. He and my best friend of almost 8 years and myself all worked together and were considered a "clique" by other employees. We were all together nearly all the time for months and the good times were continuous. I had a boyfriend at the time and he lived an hour away and I hardly saw him and we hadn't been together to long and weren't that serious, so I decided to break up with him for my recently found best friend and soul mate. About a month into his and I relationship ( we had been inseparable as friends and a little more for 3 months prior to me breaking it off with the other guy) I found out I was pregnant and sincerely believed and new it was my ex's baby. He was ok with it and we stayed as happy as ever and my ex new about the baby and wanted the baby even without me so it was hardly ever discussed. After I had my baby things got hard for me because I was living at home with my parents still and even though I was on my way to work when my water broke I didn't have the funds to move out and my family drove me crazy about my baby. They wouldn't let me have a say in anything using it was their house their rules and they ruled it all. So I eventually broke and my mom who isn't mentally stable in some ways having recovered from multiple personality disorder and having bi polar and severe depression kicked me out of the house. I loaded up all of my babies things in my car for my parents to tell me I wouldn't be taking him with me and I'd be awful to try and have the possibility of endangering him. So, still crying hysterically I unloaded his stuff and left. I stayed with my boyfriend at his moms apartment, where he was living. He hadn't had a car since I'd known him so I was the one who took him to work or anywhere he needed to go since day 1 and I noticed him being aggravated after I had the baby that my physical condition interfered with that. Things continued for a couple months and I went back to work way before released to do so and a new manager came in our store. At that time he ended up firing both of us with an excuse of I didn't seem to be completely with it lately. So why he fired him too I don't know. We had nothing and his mom whom we were staying with (sleeping in the floor in the living room) kept on and on harassing us about money for bills that didn't exist. So he started taking my car and going out in the day stealing things without my knowledge to get money. This happened until he eventually got arrested as well did I because I had been blamed by my tag number being written down. Mine was dismissed but I was still devastated. When we got home we found that all of our stuff was missing which for him meant clothes and for me meant my TV,DVD player,digital camera,and all of my clothes. My boyfriends sister lived in the same apartment complex and I ended up seeing some of my clothes on her and I had expected that from the start but my boyfriend said she would never do something like that. So I was so upset about everything and added to it I thought maybe he new and let all of my stuff get stolen. He went to his sisters and got a few of my clothes and she fought him about it and called the apartment manager and the police saying he had stolen her clothes. We got kicked off the property and had no where to go. My family hated my boyfriend so he couldn't stay there with me and me staying there meant more hell for me but with no choice I went back and he came too but he stayed in a small cabin on the huge farm my family lives on without there knowledge. He became completely dependent on me for everything and he even had to take a couple baths in the lake which connected to our property. Finally we decided to do whatever we had to and left and went to one of the biggest tourist areas in TN and got jobs. We lived in hotels and things became livable again for a while. The only thing that kept me sane and going through all of this was knowing I had him and that we would be married soon and have our own place to raise our family. I ended up having a miscarriage and losing my job and he continued to work and things went on. Then one night he woke me up stumbling around and he wasn't making any sense when he talked so I called 911 and an ambulance came and got him, he had tried to kill himself as a note I found said. He was in the hospital ER for 3 days in a small room running around naked and peeing on himself and banging his head against walls, out of his mind. A nurse told me he was still not able to speak and asked if I new of any reason he would be acting this way because the advil pm he had taken wouldn't cause this. I of course had no clue and was insanely scared and heartbroken of seeing him that way. The nurse also told me she asked him why he had tried to kill himself and his answer was to spite me. They sent him to a state mental hospital where miraculously he recovered completely over night and begged me over the phone to come get him out. So I did and in a sad awful way I felt relieved and ok to have him back. He was able to keep his job and we ended up staying in the hotel for another 6 months until one day he just quit talking to me for 3 days all he did was lay in bed and tell me to go home and that is all he would do besides shower and use the bathroom. I was panicking not knowing what to do, I didn't in anyway want to leave him there 3 hours away from everyone and everything either of us new to go home. I couldn't take it anymore though it was killing me so I called my parents and asked them to come get me while hyperventilating. They came and I went back home, I went back to pay for the hotel room for my boyfriend and he talked to me and we decided he would come back home and try to find a friend to stay with. So he did and things got ok for a few months again. He ended up losing control so bad so many times I called his brother for help because I was so scared I couldn't take it and he ended up helping and getting my boyfriend under control in a sense and we started having him in our life again. Currently he is living with his brother and has a job and his brother bought him a car so he is doing ok I suppose but he broke up with me a week ago. And we haven't spoke and I can't bring myself to call him after all this time and everything that has happened. I feel empty and alone and like I am going through the motions of life as an empty shell. A few things happened between us I didn't mention above such as him stealing money from me and my family pretty consistently. He was very physically abusive to me towards the end and broke my ribs and drug me by hair pulling it out and busting my mouth up all bloody. So I know this relationship was awful and nothing but hurtful to me but thats the problem I don't know how to deal with this hurt. I try to act as normal as I can and I have no one to talk to about all of this and even if I did I probably wouldn't this is the first time I ever have said or wrote any of it. And I know its more a book then a post but this was the shortest version possible and for anyone who takes the time out of your day to read this, Thank you. More then you know thank you.
Fufu Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I really would love to read everything but without paragraphs, I find it quite hard to read, appreciate if you could do paragraphing. Thanks.
Fufu Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I finally manage to read everything, at the end you said he physically abused you and I'm happy to hear you know this is extremely awful. Don't put yourself in the past anymore, don't trap yourself in the past. All these were long over, move on and look forward to better things in life. You don't have to hurt yourself anymore. Smile and look forward in life.
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