SingVoice Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 So theres another teacher where I work...and over the last few months we maybe have said a few things here and there to each other. But the last couple of weeks...since I have felt ready to date again...I have been kind of making more of an effort to talk to him or flirt with him. And he has given it right back to me. The other day we both had a break...so we were talking. We both asked each other about our music backgrounds and such...and we were both teasing each other...he is also very sarcastic. Plus I think there is an attraction... So here's what happened at the end of our conversation when my next student showed up. Me: Well it was nice chatting with you. Him: Yeah. We should do it again sometime. Me: Yeah. Him: Maybe over some coffee. Me: Yeah. So there was so much teasing going on in the conversation I'm not sure if he was actually asking me out or not! And I'm not really sure what to do next! Any thoughts?
Mrlonelyone Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Perhaps you should have coffee with him? But what do I know... apparently musical types can ask eachother to do all kinds of things without it meaning anything right?
one goal Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I thought teachers couldn't date each other if they work at the same school? Wouldn't that be inappropriate?
Lilmisus Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Just wait and see what happens when you see him next time. I'm sure he meant it when he asked you, but if you feel doubtful, just see if he brings it up again. If he does - go out with the guy! Oh, and unless their school is different than most, it's typically okay for teachers to date one another. But I'm sure it's just like every other job where they can't let their dating affect their job in anyway.
utterer of lies Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I thought teachers couldn't date each other if they work at the same school? Wouldn't that be inappropriate? Haha, funny.
oaks Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Did you want him to ask you out? If so, assume that he did and tell him "so when are we going to have that chat over a coffee?". If not, just assume that he didn't ask you out. Simple.
Author SingVoice Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 Thanks for all the responses! We don't work at a school. We teach private lessons at a music store. Technically we aren't even employed there...because we are self employed. So there aren't really any rules about dating each other or anything like that. MrLonelyOne- Yeah with music types its hard to tell...haha. Although he is a pianist...not a singer..so he might be more normal. I think I have just been doing online dating for so long that I almost don't know how to meet someone in real life!!! Haha. And even though we definitely WERE flirting...I wasn't sure if he was ACTUALLY asking me out or just saying that we should talk more. Either way I did say "yeah" but I also don't want to approach him and say "So when are we going out!?!?" if it was just casual. I'll see him again Monday...and I think I'm just going to play it cool. I'll try to chat him up again and see what the response it.
Author SingVoice Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 And also YES I do want him to ask me out. He is REALLY cute and seems normal (so far). I am not sure how old he is though...I'm 29...and he might be only 25 or 26!!!
Mrlonelyone Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 [Either way I did say "yeah" but I also don't want to approach him and say "So when are we going out!?!?" if it was just casual./QUOTE] Wait. why can't asking him this be casual? It's just coffee. At our age an difference like that can be a big deal to some people. Try not to worry about if until it becomes a problem.
Intricategirl Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 The next time you see him, you put your hands on your hips, a smile on your face, and a wink in your eye. And tell him, "Hey! You owe me coffee! I've still got to hear about XXXXXXX." In a very playful voice, obviously. If he wants to date you, he'll move pretty quick to set a time/date. If he's not as interested, he'll plead a busy schedule or some other impediment. I think it wasn't necessarily asking you out, but it did seem to be feeling you out to see how receptive you are to the idea. Good luck!
Author SingVoice Posted April 17, 2011 Author Posted April 17, 2011 I'm not really that concerned about the age...so long as he is mature and able to communicate. It won't even BE an issue unless it IS an issue. I'll be seeing him tomorrow...and I feel like such a dope because I have been thinking about him all weekend!!! I feel like a school girl!!! But I don't want to get my hopes up either. So I'm just going to play it cool tomorrow and see what happens. I KNOW he has been flirting with me...and I think it was kind of bold of him to suggest the coffee thing...so I'm thinking he's not just going to ignore me or anything now. Haha I feel like a teenager. Maybe I should send him a note that says "Do you like me...check yes or no." LOL
Author SingVoice Posted April 19, 2011 Author Posted April 19, 2011 Ok so here's what happened yesterday....and I apologize ahead of time for the fact that this reads like some teenage drama. He wasn't really hanging around much to talk...but I needed to talk to him about putting together this recital...so I knocked on his room and asked him what his availablility was...etc....he was kind of...I don't know...he was nice but not too flirty or funny or anything. He also wasn't giving me much info so I jokingly said "Ok well I'll just plan the whole thing and you can just show up..." So when I went to leave...he was sitting in the lobby...I think waiting to talk to me. He says "So I'm thinking we should have this recital....maybe the 2nd week of June..." (This is exactly what I had said to him earlier that night...so he was being funny.) SO after a couple minutes of talking about the recital....then he asked me where I lived. I said "why so you can stalk me?!?!" He then kept trying to ask me where I lived...I played a little coy and said "North"...and he kept asking. So I asked him where he lived...he told me. Then I asked him if he lived with his parents...(where he lives is a richer area so I kind of assumed he wouldnt be on his own). He said yes. I then asked him how old he was and he said "25." I laughed and said "oh my gosh!!!" He asked me how old i was...I said "29...but I'll be 30 this year." He looked surprised! Anyway we walked out together...and he said "wow that's a big bag for someone so small..."( my music bag). That was pretty much it...and I wont see him again until tomorrow...but I'm not going to worry about it. I can't read him really...I mean...he flirts with me...but who knows. I know...this is juvenile...you don't have to tell me.
zengirl Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Just have coffee with him. You might make a friend, it might be a date. . . who knows? One step at a time. I thought teachers couldn't date each other if they work at the same school? Wouldn't that be inappropriate? No reason it would be. I mean, they should be making out in front of the lockers or anything. There are teachers I know at one of my schools (I'm a district reading coach) who are married and met here. Probably others as well, but at least one that I know of.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 SO after a couple minutes of talking about the recital....then he asked me where I lived. I said "why so you can stalk me?!?!" He then kept trying to ask me where I lived...I played a little coy and said "North"...and he kept asking. So I asked him where he lived...he told me. Then I asked him if he lived with his parents...(where he lives is a richer area so I kind of assumed he wouldnt be on his own). He said yes. Why would you say that? To allot of men that would not be a funny thing to say at all. Plus the coyness over where you live at this point could be seen as disinterest. Like Zen girl said... have the coffee. It's just a casual thing to do with a coworker you want to have a good working relationship with. If it becomes something else it becomes something else. For people who aren't from Chicagoland: How can I say she should tell him "where" she lives? One of the first things to know about Chicagoland is that the City of Chicago proper is divided into 100 or so little neighborhoods. Most of which were separate cities that Chicago has absorbed over it's history. The county of Cook, which contains Chicago has over 100 separate small cities, villages and towns. Then there are the cities and towns in the six counties that surround Cook county....hundreds of them. So telling someone "where" you live in Chicagoland can be both specific, and yet not reveal enough information to "find" you. To demonstrate...I live in Bellwood, IL. which tells you I live in a middle and working class community that's 80% black and it's general location. Good luck finding me... with so many hundreds of neighborhoods and suburbs (dozens with the name "wood" in them) most Chicagoans have no idea where that is... even though most of them have driven through here.
Author SingVoice Posted April 19, 2011 Author Posted April 19, 2011 The only reason I made the crack about his age was because the last time we talked/flirted I told him he needed to "respect his elders..." About the living thing...I know this is going to sound ridiculous...but I live right across the border in Wisconsin. It only takes me about 35 minutes to get to where I work in Illinois...and nobody at work knows I live in Wisconsin. It really isn't THAT big of a deal...but I just don't really want everyone to know I live there. I am in Illinois A LOT...and there are a lot of opportunities for me to get gigs if people think I am more local. I don't want someone to think "oh well she lives too far away.." (This actually just recently happened to me with a gig in Chicago...) So I try to keep it private...which is why I didn't tell him...it's not that I wouldn't eventually...but I want to know where this is all going before I do. And YES I do want to have coffee with him...but he didn't mention anything about it...and like I said...I'm not sure if he was just joking around. We are both getting off at the same time tomorrow...so I'm gonna see what happens with that.
Author SingVoice Posted April 19, 2011 Author Posted April 19, 2011 And about the stalking thing...that's another joke that I have going with him. A couple weeks ago we were talking about that...so it's kind of an inside joke I have with him.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 19, 2011 Posted April 19, 2011 Oh so your a cheeseheaded Packerfan eh? :lol: Thank you that's all we need to know to add you to our black list! >:|
Author SingVoice Posted April 19, 2011 Author Posted April 19, 2011 NO WAY! THAT is another reason I don't tell people I live here. BORN and raised in Illinois!!!!!!
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