how do u do this?

[tom_gbr]

how the hell do people do no contact....one day.....one day has just passed of no contact with her and i feel so apart from her...really not sure how im gonna last a week let alone months. im constantly wondering what shes up to and what shes thinking.

 

i keep thinking im never going to hear from her....im wondering if there is someone else in her life already : (

[lady104]

I know, it's amazing! One minute you're both supposedly madly in love with each other. The next, you're supposed to not touch, kiss, speak in the same way, admire, utter words of affection, just like that.

[MarKus]

Ok....me and gf/ex have been a break of like 3 months now after being together 3 years....anyway i did contact her a lot within the first week....anyway there has never been a no contact rule for us....if i contact her she will respond.

 

Ive met her to give her sum photos i did as a favour, ive only phoned a couple times....anyway over a month ago she text me asking if we should meet up sometime...i said yes....but i never got a responce....so i left it at that.....she text me 3 weeks later asking me if i could do some prints for her and asked if i had been up to much and asked if me and my family were ok....which i didnt reply to......she text me last thursday-which said

 

"hello, u ok? U been up to much? text back x"

 

which i also havnt replied to yet.....so its been over a month since i last contacted her, Ive just got used to it....but she has been contacting me....which makes it hard....because i love her dearly

[lady104]

You love her dearly?

 

A break can bring a couple closer together, but you're really showing it? Why don't you reply to her texts proper, hun? If she wants to meet up, don't just say "yeah" - propose a date, venue. Call me sexist, but I think it's a man's job to show interest and initiative. Otherwise us girls will consider there is none.

 

I'm fed up of men who don't phone their girlfriends, and expect the girl to propose dates. And then suddenly complain that they aren't meeting up as much with their g/f. It's up to you. If you're on a break which is why you don't want to meet up, then say so. But for godsake, if you love her, allow "the break".

 

Stop acting so cool!

[hurtingandconfused]

So if you love her, stop acting so cool!

 

She broke up with him. There's nothing "cool" that he's doing. He's trying heal that is it.

 

i said yes....but i never got a responce....so i left it at that

 

He said yes, I suppose she changed her mind.

[MarKus]

Did you read it properly....she wanted to meet....i said YES to meeting up....but she never REPLIED back....geez

[lady104]

"so its been over a month since i last contacted her, Ive just got used to it....but she has been contacting me....which makes it hard....because i love her dearly"

 

Not contacting her when you're in love? To me, that comes across as trying to act cool

 

And I said, don't just say "yeah" in response to meeting up, u shd add more words to that if possible, like a possible location and time, etc.

[tom_gbr]

the thing is are all u lot on a break....our relationship is over, is there any chance at all that having no contact could bring us back together?

 

she sent me a text saying that she missed me last friday which i replied to but it sounded like i was having a go at her as it really screwed me up as she was the one who finished it.

 

anyway in her reply she said that she would never text me again!

 

so i replied explaining what i meant about her contacting me....i said to her that if she ever feels like fidning out how i am and so on that she can text me...i didnt think she would be texting me saying that she was missing me.

 

i told her this and she didnt reply so i had to find out if she was hurt or angry with me so i text her asking

 

she said that no she wasnt and never was and that i need to stop texting her with messages like this

 

i said 'thats all i wanted to know, hope ure ok, hope we can be close friends, will take time x '

 

thats it thats hows its left....is there any chance of the no contact that im starting ending up in her wanting me back?....she's missing me i know that much

 

im so tempted just to phone her sometime this week and just have an amazing phone conversation with her like old times then start no contact from then...as right now it looks like she has had enough of me

[MarKus]

Originally posted by lady104

 

And I said, don't just say "yeah" in response to meeting up, u shd add more words to that if possible, like a possible location and time, etc.

 

Well...this is what i said....Yes we would could meet up for chat if you wanted to, when and where would you like to meet?

Got no reply.

 

 

Tom,

 

you shouldnt phone her...you have done all you can for now.

 

I dont understand....you say she text you telling you that she missed you....right?

Howcome it sounded like you were having a go at her when you replied back....what did you say to her??

[tom_gbr]

it was along the lines of

 

' i need to know whats going on inside your head. the message saying that you are missing me really screwed me up. i think that it was unfair for you to send me a message like that as you know that my feelings for you are still as strong as when we were going out.'

 

think i also said that i missed her.

 

i only realised after i had sent it that it really does sound bad. i had a really bad couple of days before that as i had lost my job and had a ****ed up dream as well so her texting me saying that she was missing me messed me up

[MarKus]

Looking at it i think you should have kept it simple by just saying you missed her also.....but i dont think the message you sent to her is that bad....you told her your feelings in small detail regarding the text she had sent you....and she replied she wud never text you again

 

If she sent you that message....surely she would 'expect' the type of responce that you gave her.

 

Who understands a mind of a woman??...sometimes i think they dont even understand themselfs!

 

she said she would never text you again....but she broke her word...cos she did text you again

[tom_gbr]

yeah i think i was reading into the message too much...if iext back sayin the same....or not at all things might be different now....she might be thinking differentley.

 

i agree with who understands the mind of a women, but shes also 16.

 

i just dont know what to do...one who hand i think of her age and what goes on in the mind of a 16 year old, who likes to think at 16 that they will be with the same person for six months or longer?

 

but then i think of all the amazing times we had together and how we can still have them. i know no one will treat her and love her as much as i do. i know that she must still feel something for me....she must do.

 

she said when she ended it that i had done nothing wrong and that she just needed time alone to sort herself out and that doesnt involve me.

 

that hurts the most...that i cant be with her anymore even when shes ready for a boyfriend its not going to be more...who knows how long it will take her before shes ready for a boyfriend again in her life?

 

it hurts also that if shes not looking for a boyfriend instead its going to be just casual flings with guys...guys that dont give a **** about her and it will be just lust.

 

this is a living nightmare

[MarKus]

Mate shes very young.

 

i had a gf who was 16 when i was 18.... i went out with her for 7 months. (im 21 now)

she was quiet.....and she had a sex hungry friend.....they had been friends ages and do everything 2gether

 

She lived 20 miles from me....at the start she told me how much she loved me.....i fell for her big time....she was my first love.....she kept telling me and i kept telling her, we would write long letters....i would only see her on the weekends.....we would talk on the phone nearly everynight.....then it went weird.....she never hardly replied to any of my letters....she would dissapear on me....act cold....see me less at the weekends etc.....i kept writing to her that i cared for her....anyway cut a long story short.....she sent me 4 letters telling me how much she loved me....then 5 days later dumped me via text message.

 

she wrote to me after that saying the usual stuff....

a month later i had gotten over her.....she started to text me again....wanting to see me.....telling me she was going to fall asleap dreaming of me and she loved me.

so she comes to my house.....we loads of flirting one thing led to another....then she goes home on the train....it happened again the following week.

 

then a month down the road i get a letter through the post.....and it wasnt pretty....4 pages of how she loved me at first....but then went out with me just to try to manipulate me....and try 2 hurt me....and told me she cheated on me....she only came back cos she wanted me to fall for her again so that she could hurt me more....and watch me fall to pieces.....and break my heart....luckily i was over it by the time she sent that letter

 

Some women can be like that sometimes particulary younger women....they can be..cold evil callous manipulative ****ing bitches.....if i saw her now on fire....i wouldnt even lower myself to piss on her

 

 

 

thats why im being cautious now with my current gf/ex....but im certain she would never do anything like that to me....she isnt like that.....i KNOW how much she loved me when we were together

[SweetLou22]

Originally posted by tom_gbr

but shes also 16.

 

what goes on in the mind of a 16 year old

 

16, and you're how old? 1983 - 20 this year...WTF?!?!?!

 

You have more important issues than what's going inside her head - like what's going on inside yours? This is a child for all intents and purposes.

[tom_gbr]

er excuse me lou i dont know what your ****ing problem is...yes shes 16 and yes i am 20...its not like it's against the law...i came to this website to seek advice and comfort from other people who are going through the same things i am right now and i didnt come here to be insulted.

 

i fell in love with this girl....she is everything to me...she has made me the happiest that i have ever been...i didnt fall in love with her because of her age.

 

i suggest you go away and think about what you are saying before you come to this site posting a load of ****ing ****

[Dixiecron]

Tom.

 

Chill.

 

Chill the f**k out.

 

Stop analyzing. Stop trying to think too hard about the meaning of a few text messages.

 

I get the impression Lou (and Markus for that matter, considering the recent posts) is saying that your ex is too young to handle this situation in a mature manner. If Lou is suggesting what you think she is, then just ignore her/him/it.

 

Your emotions are all over the place right now. Get them under control. Be cool. Stay away from the ex until you're on an even keel. Ignore lady104's nonsense posts. No contact is the best way to heal.

 

You said in a previous post you need to get your studies taken care of for this semester. Are you doing that? Those things take priority over your ex. She can wait.

[tom_gbr]

thanks dixiecron...im slowly getting back into a work pattern but its really hard. i suppose i dont want to do no contact right now because im scared...im scared about her going out this thursday and getting with someone because how things have been left between us... i know this sounds stupid

 

i just feel like if i have a chat with her about what shes been doing and how she is there will be less chance of this happening...i suppose im thinking the same it will be like the last time i phoned her as we had a great conversation and two days later i got that text from her sayin that shes missing me.

 

i just dont know how im going to handle no contact right now with the way things have been left between us...i really think im gonna be worse of this way.

 

what do you think?

[Dixiecron]

Well, a few things:

 

1. You two are broken up. Eventually she will meet someone else, sooner or later. You will too. If she's finds a new guy in a week or two, then she couldn't have been that great for you in the first place. Nothing you can do about it, so don't try. You can't control other people's thinking or feelings.

 

2. I didn't start feeling better for real until I actually started doing no contact. I thought I was going to be worse off, and didn't think I could do it, but it got easier every week. And I got better every week.

[tom_gbr]

i know but i if that text message that she sent me was the last ever message that i got from her, that would really suck.i suppose i just wanted one more good phone call with her so i know shes not angry with me or hurt. But the phone call might not go well as some of you have said and that would be worse.

 

i know the last text message she sent me was blunt and not that friendley but im really hoping she meant it when she said that she is not hurt or angry with me and never was. as thats the last thing i want

[tom_gbr]

on day three of no contact....feeling strangely ok even though i know my ex girlfriend is out clubbing tonight : (

 

i cant believe i didnt call her today im suprised with myself!....after a few more days without hearing from me she will start to worry....this is the longest we have ever had without contact.

 

i suppose i feel OK because i know doing this no contact thing will help me through this what ever happens

 

i still love her and miss her like hell...she knows this and i know she still has some feelings for me