katejrn12 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Hey guys, I need some insight into this situation: met a guy on match and have been seeing each other for abt 1 1/2 months we've had a blast, great chemistry, clicked on every level he introduced me to his friends had talked about me meeting his family we had sex last weekend and he has disappeared- went from calling/texting daily to nothing! I sent one text 2 days ago and no response...WTF IS GOING ON??? Do I call him or leave it be?
maysj18 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Leave it alone. It sucks, but that is a sure sign that something fishy is up. Let him come to you, and if he doesn't in the next few days, just move on. I mean granted something could have happened, but with you guys having sex last weekend it sounds like he's just being a dick.
DollyGirl12 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 I'm sorry he did this to you. Honestly, if it were me, and the man I have been dating for a month and a half did this, I would be completely turned off by him and wouldn't want to see him again. There's nothing wrong with casual dating, but to have sex with someone that you've been seeing, and then pulling the disappearing act after that speaks volumes about him. How old is this guy? You deserve better!!!
GivenUp0083 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 I wouldn't jump to conclusions just yet. This is a scary sign though, I would just try to occupy myself for a few more days, if you don't hear from him, you have every right to call him up and ask what's the deal? Communication is key, you can make your best effort to try and communicate with him, but if he won't reciprocate then there's nothing you can do but move on.
Author katejrn12 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 I'm sorry he did this to you. Honestly, if it were me, and the man I have been dating for a month and a half did this, I would be completely turned off by him and wouldn't want to see him again. There's nothing wrong with casual dating, but to have sex with someone that you've been seeing, and then pulling the disappearing act after that speaks volumes about him. How old is this guy? You deserve better!!! We're both 30! I just dont get why he would introduce me to his friends and everything else JUST to get laid!!!
Jynxx Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 How was the sex? Anything weird/scary happen? Were you extremely passive? Do you have reason to believe he didn't enjoy it at all?
Author katejrn12 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 How was the sex? Anything weird/scary happen? Were you extremely passive? Do you have reason to believe he didn't enjoy it at all? The sex was really good! I dated one of my best friends years ago and I asked his opinion and he said 'it could be a lot of things, but I know there wasn't anything wrong with the sex!' He introduced me to everyone as his girlfriend one day and two days later disappears?
Eddie Edirol Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 We're both 30! I just dont get why he would introduce me to his friends and everything else JUST to get laid!!! because when he deals with women, thats the only way he can get them to sleep with him, is if he acts like a boyfriend. On the other hand, he might have just not enjoyed the sex with you for some reason.
Stung Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Even if he comes back around, send him packing. At the very best, he's thoughtless and rude--unless he's in a hospital in a coma somewhere, which would be an acceptable excuse. There's another poster on here who does this as his usual MO, he's got a thread about it. From his point of view, you should be grateful that you got some company and maybe some a couple free meals and a consensual ride on his baloney pony. Would you WANT to date somebody with that kind of predatory, narcissistic mindset? No? Then all you can do at this point is consider yourself better off that he showed you the essential slime he is composed of so early in the dating process.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 (edited) Even if he comes back around, send him packing. At the very best, he's thoughtless and rude--unless he's in a hospital in a coma somewhere, which would be an acceptable excuse. There's another poster on here who does this as his usual MO, he's got a thread about it. From his point of view, you should be grateful that you got some company and maybe some a couple free meals and a consensual ride on his baloney pony. Would you WANT to date somebody with that kind of predatory, narcissistic mindset? No? Then all you can do at this point is consider yourself better off that he showed you the essential slime he is composed of so early in the dating process. Are you talking about who I think you're talking about? I'm completely stumped that there is a poster who does this but refresh my memory by posting a link, Thanks. OP, there are always reasons for why someone disappears or fade out, but none of them are satisfactory for you, because one, the reasons are completely selfish and two, they were acted on without considerations towards you. And as distasteful as it sounds, there are still men capable of doing the sex and run. What you can do is move past from this. It is easy to taken by someone's sweetness and pleasantries but when they pull a move like this all they ever do end up is being an " ass-h0le". Edited April 15, 2011 by xpaperxcutx
NXS Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Something is amiss here, a guy doesn't date for a month and introduce you to his friends to get one night's sex. Either something has happened since your text or there's some other kind of issue.
musemaj11 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 I hope you at least got nice dates and nice dinners out of him before he ran.
TuffCookieX Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Something is amiss here, a guy doesn't date for a month and introduce you to his friends to get one night's sex. Either something has happened since your text or there's some other kind of issue. I beg to differ. I've been in the same situation as the OP. I was sleeping over the night and he was gonna make me breakfast the next morning and that night I went down on him... when it was time for me to go the next day, he wouldn't budge, kept "sleeping" even after I tried hitting him. I finally got the damn hint and never saw him again. Sometimes they will string you along and show you off to their friends and family for as long as it takes until you put out. Hell my guy even said he "liked how different I was because I didn't give it up so quickly like the other girls". A**hole.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I beg to differ. I've been in the same situation as the OP. I was sleeping over the night and he was gonna make me breakfast the next morning and that night I went down on him... when it was time for me to go the next day, he wouldn't budge, kept "sleeping" even after I tried hitting him. I finally got the damn hint and never saw him again. Yes, some guys don't even have the decency to walk you to the station the next day.
stepka Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Oh I hate these kind of men. It happened to the young daughter of my close friend and he had dated her for months and was her first and then once and poof. She was heartbroken but is fortunately with a really nice young man now that she plans to marry. She is so beautiful inside and out and I would spit in the face of the guy who took advantage of her.
Author katejrn12 Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 He got what he wanted. Smahten up! I totally hear you on this but have a question- why would he be on my match profile everyday? You got the goods move on to the next right?
carhill Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 The first time takes the most work. After that, lube the ways, spin up the motor and make chips.
somedude81 Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Was that the first time you two had sex? If so, how pushy was he about getting it?
Disillusioned Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Believe it or not, there's actually a joke commercial on Youtube for the "Manslator". While the vid is pretty funny, don't expect to see the Manslator on sale at Best Buy. Instead, tell it like it is.
Author katejrn12 Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 Was that the first time you two had sex? If so, how pushy was he about getting it? Not pushy @ all...kiss on the cheek for date #1, #2 make-out, etc
Author katejrn12 Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 Forget about disappearing sex man. Be cautious about giving him another chance, if he does indeed resurface. And whatever you do, don't judge all of us on this one homie. If it was me, I would totes stick around for more banging! But for real, try not to stress it chica. Thanks Moviefraud! That's the real problem and what's upsetting me the most- this is the first guy in YEARS I didn't think was playing me and so I let my gaurd down...but I'll try not to lump u all together in the scum pile
Eddie Edirol Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Thanks Moviefraud! That's the real problem and what's upsetting me the most- this is the first guy in YEARS I didn't think was playing me and so I let my gaurd down...but I'll try not to lump u all together in the scum pile You just learned the hard way that your scumpile radar is on the fritz. You have to learn to be a lil more observant.
fishtaco Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Two months just to get a one-night sex is... well, not the best method of investing one's time. So I'd say: 1) He is lame. Anyone that would go through this much just to get sex one night, is pathetic. You dodged a bullet. If the sex was good, even better. You basically enjoyed him at his best -- his best behavior for 2 months. You DON'T want to have to deal with someone like this in a relationship anyway. 2) Something else happened. He didn't intend on working for two months, get sex, then disappear. But, this is not your problem. It's his problem. You're open to communication and continuing, for whatever reason he's not. And he dropped the ball as far as etiquette is concerned, he should have given you an explanation. If it makes you feel better, women pull this crap too. Sometimes the same way, sometimes different scenarios. Basically, it's not "illegal" to change one's mind, but once enough history is built between two people, it is bad etiquette to leave the other person hanging. Recently the woman I've been seeing since October disappeared without telling me anything. I had to find out through other means that it was due to her mother's disapproval of my... agnostic beliefs. But she didn't bother telling me that. She just vanished. It is what it is. Recognize it and move on. The way I see it, the more bad behaviors one shows, the more reason you should pat yourself on the back for dodging the bullet. Don't fall into the trap of... "what did I do wrong". You did NOT do anything wrong. It was him.
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