Heidi89 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 My ex and I broke up 7 weeks ago and I have been doing NC for almost 5 weeks. He contacted me last week about a passport and I ignored him for a couple of days. He got annoyed that I was ignoring him so we made arrangements for him to get it back from my mum. I have woken up to a text this morning asking if he can come and get his games console tonight and bring a book that I have at his house. His text seemed like he was pissed off. I know he's not likely to be all nice, but there was no hello, how you doing etc. You wouldn't think I spent two years of my life with this guy. I want to ignore it but it's his property and if he wants it then I have to give it to him. What should I do?
smudge21 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Can you get someone else to be there and let him in whilst you're out enjoying life with your other admirers?
PegNosePete Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Ask him if there is anything else of his that he wants back. Last chance, if it's not on the list then it becomes yours. Put all his sh*t in a box. Make a list of the things he has of yours that you want back. Arrange a day to swap boxes, using an intermediary if necessary... the end.
Author Heidi89 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Can you get someone else to be there and let him in whilst you're out enjoying life with your other admirers? Yeah my mum could be in. I was thinking of contacting his mum and dropping it at his on monday when he's at work? Then I don't have to break NC. At the same time, I don't want to seem like I'm being petty...
Author Heidi89 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Ask him if there is anything else of his that he wants back. Last chance, if it's not on the list then it becomes yours. Put all his sh*t in a box. Make a list of the things he has of yours that you want back. Arrange a day to swap boxes, using an intermediary if necessary... the end. These are the only things we have belonging to eachother
smudge21 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 The only concern I have with you dropping his stuff off with his mum is that it may bring back some memories. Seeing her or her house may act like a trigger and set you back. Best to let someone else be there when he turns up and have them tell him that you're out on a date with (insert celebrity here). Maybe not, but you get the idea. They just tell this loser that you're out with friends...
smudge21 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 ... plus it sends a message that you're not that bothered anymore and you've moved on. You can't even be bothered to wait in for him.
Author Heidi89 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 ... plus it sends a message that you're not that bothered anymore and you've moved on. You can't even be bothered to wait in for him. Thanks for your advice smudge! I replied asking if I could drop it in at his and he responded kind of defensively. He said 'its up to you, is your mum at work tonight?' and I said yeah, then he said 'right i'll just pick it up off her and give her your book' I know we aren't together any more so I shouldn't care but I don't know why he's acting so defensively. Have you got any idea? I don't know if he hates me (I don't know why he would), or if he's pissed off that I haven't been in touch with him or jumped at the chance to see him tonight? I hate it!
smudge21 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Maybe his pride is hurt. He expected you to come running and you haven't. People act that way when they don't get what they want. It does sound like you're doing better than he is at the moment. Continue as you have been and try not to concern yourself over what may or may not be going on in his head.
PegNosePete Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 These are the only things we have belonging to eachother Yeah, but it's still worth asking him IMO. It will prevent him from coming back in a week's time and saying oh I forgot a CD, oh I forgot a pencil, oh I forgot a bit of fluff from the tumble drier etc. If you ask him for a final list then he has no reason to bug you ever again.
Author Heidi89 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Thanks so much for your advice. I still love him and I'd love for us to give things another go but it takes two and he obviously isn't interested. At least now giving the rest of our things back might be like closure for me and I can move on properly!
D-Lish Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 I suspect the others are right, and he's acting pissed off and defensive because he was expecting a different reaction from you. He most likely did think you'd jump at the chance to see him, and when you didn't, well- you can see how he's handling it. I think it's amazing that you've held your ground, because it's so hard to do. The bottom line is that if he's truly interested in giving this a second chance, he's got work to do. If he's not interested, he needs to take his things and piss off. I'm proud of you. Now, you have to keep yourself busy- lean on your friends and family during the lonley times. Handling this returning things situation is a really good step in taking your power back, so good going!
Author Heidi89 Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 I suspect the others are right, and he's acting pissed off and defensive because he was expecting a different reaction from you. He most likely did think you'd jump at the chance to see him, and when you didn't, well- you can see how he's handling it. I think it's amazing that you've held your ground, because it's so hard to do. The bottom line is that if he's truly interested in giving this a second chance, he's got work to do. If he's not interested, he needs to take his things and piss off. I'm proud of you. Now, you have to keep yourself busy- lean on your friends and family during the lonley times. Handling this returning things situation is a really good step in taking your power back, so good going! Thanks so much for that D-Lish! A bit of encouragement makes all the difference ha! He texted a few hours later saying 'don't bother giving my stuff to your mum I've been called into work' which I don't really believe. He's being an ass and I don't have time for it! So I'm just gonna take it round next week and see his mum and get my stuff, then that will be the end of it! I think I'm feeling kind of relieved because I won't be on edge all the time waiting for a text saying he wants his stuff which is what I've kind of been like!
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