Anna86 Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Hi, Just thought I would post a POSITIVE thread!! All my last few threads were negative, so want to share some joy with you all...... Well, I know the pain of heartbreak. It's almost like you loose your identity. You feel you will never return. You feel unable to live without them. You feel like the world has gone mad. Its horrific!! But, I never thought I would get through it. But here I am, 3.5 months later and I feel GOOD again! I never thought I could feel this way again, I mean I knew I would. But forgot how good it feels. So I want you all to remember, it does get better!!! be strong, be unique and love yourself. You will find yourself again. Just get them out of your system, it takes time, but once you get there, you feel..........bliss. Remember, how many years of your life did you live without them? You were born without them, on average maybe spent at least 20 years of your lives without them so far!!! I mean, I am not fully over it. I am still healing. But I think I am past the final hurdle. Please, please guys, try NC. I mean, I never knew it would work so quickly and with such success!! Peace out guys, I hope my next post will be to give advice, and remain strong!! Thank you all for your wonderful advice!!
Nick71 Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Can't wait to join you there Anna I feel it coming . . . slowly . . .
longterm Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 That's awesome. I hope that X doesn't contact you though. It could really screw with it. Unless of course you already been contacted and ended it on your own FULLY. Then, I say that is awesome. Just saying, be prepared for it, if it happens. Keep up with your new life! Have a great time and hey, meet someone new.
tyler123 Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 longterm is right- i got the voice mail and missed call yesterday- IT TOTALLY MESSED WITH ME i listened to it 3/4 times before i could turn my car on. if and when it happens that feeling will pass and you can continue- life is not about how hard you hit , but it's about when you get hit how you get up and move forward. FYI i did not call back despite having constant thoughts about it, everytime i think i might- i re-read my posts , read others, write- i remember some important things on WHY i am doing NC and why i need to do this to get a healthy and heal
2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Good to hear i'm at this stage now as well, yes we are not completely over it but we can definitely see the light at the end of the tunnel. As funny as it seems to say now I am hoping more and more that I DO NOT hear from the ex again, I am trying my best to stay away and keep healing. I know just one contact from her would bring me back to SQ1, not that she ever did contact me anyway, not once by email, phone just msn - once - and I do not go on there anymore so I hold real hope that I can fully heal from now on. 2011
betterdeal Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 What a lovely OP! It's so nice to hear the positive from someone. I've been full NC for little under a month now, and it works! Keep us updated, Anna :-)
Author Anna86 Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 Hey guys, Thanks for all the feedback. I know many of you can relate to the pain!! Tonight, I went out with my friends. It hurt, because before this I bumped into our mutual friends...It hurt so much to see them, but I kept strong, I smiled, I danced and I laughed. Even If I had to fake it, i did it!!! I went out, had fun, came home alone feeling a bit lost but i know that this is for the best. I know MANY MANY people are where I am, trust me, take one day at a time. Just tell yourself that u will talk again, but NOW u need your own time. I think exes can be friends, but only after u are over each other. NC doesn't have to be so scary for ever!!!
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Time heals? No, it doesn't. All time does, is pass. That's all it can do. It's an uncontrolled concept over which we have no control. if anything heals - it's you. Some people go on for years, and never budge a step towards improvement. so take the credit. Time did nothing. You are your own best friend. Well done.
VJohnson32 Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Time heals? No, it doesn't. All time does, is pass. That's all it can do. It's an uncontrolled concept over which we have no control. Im sorry but this makes no sense whatsoever... As time passes memories and feelings fade away, especially if strict NC is implied. Your attachment/love towards that person slowly stretches until you completely break off. Time is your best healer, unless you have psychological and emotional issues of you which you are unaware of then you will be in a doomed cycle for a long time before you get over someone. Sane people need a certain amount of time before they reach consciousness and realize that happiness comes from within yourself. Time is the only approved pill for emotional stress and related issues ...
EmperorR Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Im sorry but this makes no sense whatsoever... As time passes memories and feelings fade away, especially if strict NC is implied. Your attachment/love towards that person slowly stretches until you completely break off. Time is your best healer, unless you have psychological and emotional issues of you which you are unaware of then you will be in a doomed cycle for a long time before you get over someone. Sane people need a certain amount of time before they reach consciousness and realize that happiness comes from within yourself. Time is the only approved pill for emotional stress and related issues ... This is true!
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 Im sorry but this makes no sense whatsoever... As time passes memories and feelings fade away, especially if strict NC is implied. Your attachment/love towards that person slowly stretches until you completely break off. "Time" isn't orchestrating this. You are. 'As time passes'. Like you said - that's all it does. Pass. Does it do the moving on? No. You do. Time is your best healer, unless you have psychological and emotional issues of you which you are unaware of then you will be in a doomed cycle for a long time before you get over someone. That's you suffering this, Time doesn't make you suffer. you suffer, over time, and no matter how much time you have, you don't - or can't - move on from the pit you dig yourself.... Sane people need a certain amount of time before they reach consciousness and realize that happiness comes from within yourself. Exactly. That's precisely what I'm saying. Happiness comes from within. Time does nothing. You can take all time time you want, but it's you finding your goal. Time does not heal, time does not do anything. You do it. Time is the only approved pill for emotional stress and related issues ... Not so. The 'pill for emotional stress and related issues' is to maybe get counselling, see a therapist, maybe take monitored and prescribed medication. All this takes time, but the fact that people 'heal' and move on at different rates, is witness to the fact that it's not time that does this. It's the people, in the time they need. Time does nothing but pass.
MissMoni Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 I don't mean to hijack the thread, but I just wanted to say I agree with the OP that time can and does heal!!! Esp NC. I have been NC for 60 days in a week and I can honestly say while I am not completely healed by any means, I can feel myself getting stronger each day. I am happy and motivated and doing my own thing. I have gotten to the part where I know I don't need my ex, but there are sometimes I do wish he was still in my life, as I hope to be friends one day.. but NC is def the way! 1
poorguy Posted April 16, 2011 Posted April 16, 2011 "Time" isn't orchestrating this. You are. 'As time passes'. Like you said - that's all it does. Pass. Does it do the moving on? No. You do. That's you suffering this, Time doesn't make you suffer. you suffer, over time, and no matter how much time you have, you don't - or can't - move on from the pit you dig yourself.... Exactly. That's precisely what I'm saying. Happiness comes from within. Time does nothing. You can take all time time you want, but it's you finding your goal. Time does not heal, time does not do anything. You do it. Not so. The 'pill for emotional stress and related issues' is to maybe get counselling, see a therapist, maybe take monitored and prescribed medication. All this takes time, but the fact that people 'heal' and move on at different rates, is witness to the fact that it's not time that does this. It's the people, in the time they need. Time does nothing but pass. Taramaiden.... They are saying in time nc helps heals. Time is something people use to refrence their progress. They did heal themselves,.not actually time itself. Unless you live in outerspace and dont use time to reference progress? Hope you never need surgery because they reference and consult on your recovery with time
TaraMaiden Posted April 17, 2011 Posted April 17, 2011 Taramaiden.... They are saying in time nc helps heals. Time is something people use to refrence their progress. They did heal themselves,.not actually time itself. Unless you live in outerspace and dont use time to reference progress? Hope you never need surgery because they reference and consult on your recovery with time Time has two aspects: Chronological time Psychological time. Chronological time is the one we all have to govern our lives by, in conjunction and co-operation with everyone else. The doctor, the dentist, the beautician, the boss, the colleague, the relatives, the birthdays, the time tables, the anniversaries, the schedules the trains plains boats and traffic.... Of course we need order in the day, or we would never accomplish anything. We just conveniently divide the days up into neat little pieces. We have to keep playing with time, twice a year, to adjust the clocks, to suit our needs. I've had several operations, and I'm still here, so it's never been an issue up to now.... But does this make time any more real? no. because actually, time is for the most part, psychological. There is no hope of physically being able to retrieve the moment once it's gone. We cannot physically grasp a single second of the Past, bring it before us, and change it. There is no hope of physically being able to obtain the moment not yet come. We cannot physically grasp a single second of the Future, bring it before us and model it to our desire. The only 'time' we have, at our disposal, to use, or abuse, to change or stay stuck, to advance or regress, to improve or deteriorate, to keep walking or stay stuck, to look ahead, or keep looking back - is NOW. You can have your five past twelves, your ten to threes, your seven minutes past nines, all you want. But the clock cannot repeat those moments. They're gone, or yet to come. The only person who can make use of the present time, to make it good, or make it bad, is you. And staying stuck in the past, means you deprive yourself, willingly, of a future, because you ignore the fact that it's all just memory. Once you come to terms with the fact that life lived is simply a series of ever-changing 'nows'.... you can really look at the pain which ails you and decide for how many more nows you're going to let it constrict your heart, shatter your mind, and keep you in pain. The choice, is yours. And yours to make now, as always.....
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