Trevster Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Well I just met the ex to give her money that I owed her well it wasn't that bad it went a way like this!! Hey so I just met her to give her the money we chit chat she was like Sorry you had to stop what you were doing I said oh it's cool Gave her money and said what u about to do Go to ethics and race Oh cool well u look nice today, see ya later Well the odd thing is she woulnt look me ok the eyes she would look like down and look up in a way and when we did make eye contact u could still see it in her eyes that she didn't want to be apart she had that sad depressed look on her face! I know her family pounds something in her wad bc this really isn't the girl I know and not like her to change I know!
EyesWideOpen Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Well the odd thing is she woulnt look me ok the eyes she would look like down and look up in a way and when we did make eye contact u could still see it in her eyes that she didn't want to be apart she had that sad depressed look on her face! I know her family pounds something in her wad bc this really isn't the girl I know and not like her to change I know! I don't mean to be the buzzkill, and I'm only saying this out of concern and empathy. Chances are she wouldn't make eye contact because it was uncomfortable for her. After all, she did just dump you not too long ago. It's awkward to have to be face to face with someone that you know you hurt. And the fact that she is sad doesn't necessarily indicate that she doesn't want to be apart. There's always going to be lingering remorse when a relationship fails. To this day, it still makes me sad that my marriage didn't work out. That does not, however, mean I want to be back with him. Too much damage was done. There comes a point when a relationship cannot be repaired - and the end is bittersweet in that it is both sad that it ended and yet at the same time a giant relief that it's over. That's not to say that the possibility doesn't exist that she might still want to get back together and make it work. I bring this up only as a reminder that there are many other possibilities as well. Go back to no contact so that you can heal. And if she comes back, great! But don't expect it - you'll end up counting the days in agony for somethign that may never happen.
Author Trevster Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 I mean I have had alot of friends here at college tell me thongs about I on both sides but I mean I know her better than anyone else so I know when it's different!!! I mean I have got alot of heads up I know alot of ppl on here give advice on what they think and would do but everyone is different! Alot of people I have come to realize on here was good at first but have ha sour thought bc there past relationships and giving up! I mean not saying you are but she is different it's hard to explain if you haven't been with them for 3 years but I take what you say I to co sideration from My stand I have proven to myself not to let myself get hopes up or anything like that I also don't let negative comments bring me down either! Even though I feel good about my situation now alot of people in these threads are hurting and they just need good guidance and understanding!
Author Trevster Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 Eyeswideopen I didn't mean nothing bad to you I was just saying I know there are a ton of possibilities and paths to tale I'm Not setting myself up to fail by sitting around moping thinking she will come back I have come along ways and my eyes are finally opening alot! I don't want to be rejected again so I'm not letting my hopes up thanks alot though
flitzanu Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 and trev, what we're all trying to tell you is that you're not special, and you're not the exception. none of us are. we are all the rule. that's why this happens over and over and over to everyone across the world in the exact same way.
silvermane187 Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) Maybe she couldn't look you in the eyes because she feels guilty. Don't get your hopes up. Go back to NC and don't expect her to come crawling back to you. It's a cold hard reality check but you need to hear it. I heard it 5 months ago, didn't listen, ended up holding on to false hope for longer than I should have. I was with my ex for 3 years and we were each others first everything so I know where you're coming from. Again, the longer you hold on to false hope the worse it's going to be for you. Edited April 14, 2011 by silvermane187
Author Trevster Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 I know I'm not special I don't need nothing said to me to make me feel better or anything like that! I can say I know this girl more than anyone else! And like I have said 100 times I'm not getting my hopes up about anything! At first maybe the first couple weeks I would have I still love her and miss her greatly like she does me but I know how she reacts to everything! I have had time to think about my situation and her I know what I news and dot need n a person and a relationship I have god so I'm not worried about anything really cause both times she has contacted me has been an act through god bc se hasn't contacted me for 2 weeks and then she does one thing than another! It's a act of god through prayer and he is leading me:) all that matters!
silvermane187 Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 If god gave us free will what does he have to do with the decision your ex makes about you? /face palm
Author Trevster Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Well he does gie us free will but there is pressure from family and friends to leave someone an they can really get inside your head especially like her since she is weak when I'm not there to help her and make sure her family doesn't keep using her bc she will do everything for them until I help her! Like I'm her rock! The day we broke up she wanted me to bring her lunch and sai she was forgiving me then she goes somewhere with her mom and sister and that night says she needs to talk to me odd! I never did go to lunch over there my fault cause I could have avoided it!!!
Tasha49 Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 This may come across as rude, but in no way am I actually being rude. Has it ever occured to you that when she walked away, it was her own choice? If she truly loved you, she would not let her family influence her decision to be with you. If she loved you she would love you enough to tell her family to back off. If it was her family getting into her head, then when you met, she would have told you she was sorry, and she would tell you she had no choice because her family got to her. If I truly loved someone, I would NEVER turn my back on them just because my sister, brother, mom, dad or everyone else hated him. I would take their opinion into consideration but would never leave the one I loved because my family did not approve. But that's just what I happen to think. In terms of this situation, I just don't think her avoiding eye contact was any kind of indication that she couldn't stand being away from you. If it were the case, she would let you know.
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