ViolaSwamp Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 I recently found out my boyfriend of 8-10 months (can even remember now because my brain is so fuzzy from what Ive been through) was cheating..I immediately confronted him (by text), and he didnt even respond to me..he still hasnt responded. I knew that he wasnt responding because he was with her (this was confirmed)...it confirmed everything for me. To this day he never responded. I tried to call him so that I could break up with him (he wasnt in town when this all went down), but he wouldnt answer (he was with her), so, I texted him that it was over and to never contact me again (granted, I know I said never to contact me again, and I guess he is honoring those wishes). But Im really upset about this breakup. I was so in love with this guy, and he betrayed me. The first week I was furious and crying, back and forth back and forth never knowing when a surge of new emotions was going to hit. This breakup has been especially hard. And I know, I have been through the forums and know that I do not deserve a cheater or a liar. Im smart and beautiful, and this guy was beneath me in every way, but I feel foolish and stupid for falling for something like this. The only thing he is really good at is fooling women and preying on females, because he is a failure in all other aspects of his life... Hes always getting in trouble with the law, hes not very bright (hes actually pretty stupid), hes overweight, balding and isnt super attractive, hes obviously a compulsive liar, and blames everyone around him for whatever goes wrong in his life. Hes also always broke. And every word out of his mouth is a poisonous lie. But hes very very charming I guess that is what sucked me in. I dont know how I was duped. (Im trying to figure that out because it may be useful for future relationships so I dont pick the wrong guy again). No matter how much of *****head he is, Whats hurtful is that while Im hurting and going through this painful breakup, he doesnt even care. He can run to his new girlfriend (the one he cheated on me with), and I have to deal with this unbearable pain of being alone, and dealing with the knowledge that I was lied to cheated on and betrayed for months. Its only been two weeks since I dumped him, but it feels like an eternity. Ive heard it all before. Time heals all wounds, but I dont feel like myself. I feel sad and depressed and ugly (shes prettier than me..Im hot dont get me wrong..but shes hotter (Shes a model)). And the fact that he never even responded to me when I confronted him and broke it off after almost a year-long relationship...wtf! is all I can say. Im not out for revenge, for him or her - Im sure he'll just cheat on her too, and he obviously has a sickness and has no capacity for love. His life is already a mess. But I want to feel better. and quick. Additionally, I realize oh great, now Im single again. Im not young..and now I have to start over again, damaged and broken. So painful. But I guess I can be happy I dumped him first (even though it doesnt even phase him). But at least its something. Anyway- this is what Im currently going through. Anger, sadness, disappointment, insecurity, frustration. You name it, Im feeling it.
surrender Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Im smart and beautiful, and this guy was beneath me in every way, but I feel foolish and stupid for falling for something like this. The only thing he is really good at is fooling women and preying on females, because he is a failure in all other aspects of his life... Hes always getting in trouble with the law, hes not very bright (hes actually pretty stupid), hes overweight, balding and isnt super attractive, hes obviously a compulsive liar, and blames everyone around him for whatever goes wrong in his life. Hes also always broke. And every word out of his mouth is a poisonous lie. But hes very very charming I guess that is what sucked me in. I dont know how I was duped. (Im trying to figure that out because it may be useful for future relationships so I dont pick the wrong guy again). This tickled me to death! I swear we have dated the same guy or else we're sisters! I've been told I choose men like this because I don't have much self worth...I hate that, but I have to look at it. I'm somewhere in the sixth week of NC and, you're right, it really, really sux bad. It does get better though. I only think of him every other hour whereas before it was every hour:) Not really...I honestly feel a tiny bit better and stronger every day. Don't got back to that! You're better than this!!
Author ViolaSwamp Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 Oh Ill never go back. I broke things off before because I thought he might be cheating or was being dishonest with me about the situation with his ex, but he convinced me that I was crazy and somehow made me feel like I was just making a mistake..and he broke up with her...So I took him back. But once the blinders come off and you actually see someone for what they truly are, you cant go back. A switch goes off inside of you. Its like even if you tried, you could never even take them seriously again. Even if we were ever friends I know he'd still tell me lies. I dont even want a friend like that. I miss his arms around me and I miss him telling me he loved me, and the way he made me feel when we were together, because when we were together, he was only about me, and treated me like a princess.but judging by his behavior, I see it was all a lie..and that has opened my eyes significantly. It can only get better from here..Now that hes out of my life. Good luck surrender. We'll both find someone better (hopefully!)
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