Wanting to get back with ex after needed breakup.

[Mathias]

I broke up with my girlfriend on the 31st of March due to feeling that she was loosing respect for me and taking me for granted. At the same time I felt myself becoming obsessed with her after life changing events we had in Feb.We were already living together for 7 months, ready to get out of our lease after living with my sister and her fiance for , whom hated my girlfriend, and would give me hell about her every day. On the other side, my gf boss would also directly text me and feel jealousy to me after taking her friend and worker away from her. during the begging of March her parents surprised us that they were buying a vacation home that they would not retire to in the next 10 years, and wanted us to rent there. One thing lead to another and she got cold feet, I felt it, so I decided to break up with her before I had my emotions strung along any further. I meant for the breakup to go smooth, but after she said certain things to push my buttons, I lost my temper, but apologized to her directly after, and admitted I was wrong to loose my cool.

We had no contact for about a week, to which I decided to ask if she was ok. We had smoothed things over, and ended up hooking up the next day, but not as a relationship but friends with benefits. She said she was surprised that I was ok with her using me( even though she drove out of her way during a busy work day for sex), I told her she wasn't using me because we both enjoyed it. She eventually started questioning me if there were other women involved and how my new girl neighbor was doing. I told her I was not interested in any other girl, but I was still interested in her.

That weekend, we met at starbucks and talked over our relationship, apologized for certain things we did on both sides. I then told her I'd be willing to give the relationship a second chance due to different circumstances this time. She said she emotionally didn't trust me, and wanted to make friends with other people than her boss, and get her life in line. I agreed and said that I wouldn't want it now, but rather down the line. We also agreed not to sleep with eachother.

The next day I asked her out of curiosity if she minded if we slept other people, she said no and that she would want me to tell her if I did. She then asked if there was someone else or if I was worried she'd sleep with the first guy she met. I said I was worried about niether, just seeing how we saw things. After that I'e pretty much just kept to small talk about work and how I was doing well, and wondering how she was doing. The last few days i haven't contacted her, and she hasn't sent a text yet herself. Just wondering if I'm heading in the right direction?

Edited April 14, 2011 by Mathias

[Mathias]

I also wanted to mention she is now living with her female boss until the house closes on April 29th. This will be the first time her name is on the bills, it's a 1900 squarefoot tile house with pool and hot tub. This will also be the very first time she's lived anywhere alone.

[citrusdrop1688]

I'm in the middle of a confusing reconciliation process myself. The only thing I can think of is that while she said that she didnt care if you guys slept with other people how would you feel if she said that she had. Do you really think you would feel ok getting back together? And if you were to sleep with someone else im quite sure that she actually would care. If you have feelings for someone you dont want to have them having sex with anyone else. Even if they arent sleeping with you.

 

The only other thing I can think of is you did do the breaking up, so its much more ur responsibility to reach out to her and prove that you do want to try to work things out.

[Mathias]

I'm not planning on sleeping with any one else at all, just wanted to see what she said. So is it best for me to keep contact every few days rather than let her contact me back? I want to give her her space as well