Starsky_182 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Hi guys, just looking for input really a lot of you have been in similar situations etc.... Basically I finished with my ex in march it's a long story basically she was controlling and didn't treat me well but I felt something for her and she said she loved me. After ending it I stuck to the nc rule best I could then relapsed but got a ****ty reply as expected, I've since heard she got in another relationship within weeks of me ending it....ouch. I felt I moved on then, I deleted her number etc and began to feel better, then in the early hours of fri morning I get a text saying she's had a horrible dream where I died and she was really upset and hoped I was very much alive etc - I didn't reply as I fell asleep. I feel like that text has opened up the wound but I don't understand why? I ended it because she treated me like dirt, I'm confused though because she said she loved me then got straight into another relationship?! Why can't I just move on and forget her?I know I'm better without her but she's always in my mind I'd hate her to know that! It's driving me insane how can one text move me back to stage 1 it's so frustrating Link to post Share on other sites
smudge21 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Don't beat yourself up over this. You managed to her ignore her text, that's a good thing. A lot of people would've replied back straight away! You still have an emotional bond to this girl, no matter how badly she treated you. My ex is in my thoughts every single day and it kills me to think about her. I wish it would just stop. That I could suddenly wake up and not have a single emotionally response to her. But that won't happen. It takes time and you have to understand that. You can't force yourself to fall out of love with someone (just like you can't force yourself to be in love with someone). It just happens, and it will happen to you (and me) one day. I too understand what you mean about confusion - I heard so much from my ex about how she felt, not just about me, but her life too. And now everything has changed so much. Sadly I'll never understand why, I just have to accept that the person I fell in love with (am still in love with) is long gone. Just carry on taking each day as it comes. Stay NC and keep posting your thoughts and feelings up here rather then dealing with them on your own. Texts, seeing a picture, reading her Facebook, seeing her out and about or even hearing about her will always set you back. But with each day those set backs will hurt less and less, until finally, you will no longer care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starsky_182 Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 Thanks smudge, appreciate your input its helpful when trying to work things out myself! I dont have much joy with relationships, im always so guarded and then i open up to someone like my ex and end up getting attached then when it goes pair shaped its painful! Your right i just need to plod along, i know deep down ill be fine just wish she hadnt text me, like you say any contact or picture etc will bring it all back - its especially difficult as we live in a small town and im always either bumping into her or someone who knew us and asks after us! Hope your feeling a bit better about your situation you seem like you have it under control anyway thanks again for your input, its nice that there are people out there who are basically strangers that are willing to offer advice and support. Link to post Share on other sites
EyeJustDontKnow Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Do you have the option of blocking her number? Android phones have apps that can do that, in fact I use one for the very reasons you describe, I get no notification or anything. Just vanishes into the nether. Removes the potential of getting blind sided like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starsky_182 Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 Not that i know of but i will definitely look into it thanks Link to post Share on other sites
devil moth Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 When you end a relationship with somebody that you care about, even when you think that you are COMPLETELY over them, sometimes those feelings will still remain. They always come back to bite you at the worst times and sometimes you will think "I was f***ing stupid for dumping them" but, that's all part of a breakup. They best advice I can give is, you ended it for a reason, and if it was a good reason, the worse thing you could do is get yourself back into the situation you were in before. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
nana841121 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I don't think you relapsed back to stage one it's a deceitful surface symptom, once you have been through stage one , stage two , ---- . even you temporarily returned back to stage one, you will get back to track within a short time. because you know she is not worthy, you doubted , because she rekindle the hope of her affection inside of you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starsky_182 Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 yeah your all right im sure ill get there in the end, feeling a bit better already after your input so thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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