Crimesoftheheart Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 i'm in a situation and honestly don't know what to do. this guy and i have been seeing each other for a few months now and he brought up the possibility of becoming more exclusive. i'm hesitant because he's about 4 or 5 months out of a four and a half year relationship. daunting, yes? they ended on good terms, didnt talk for a month then after that spoke a few times 'casually'. i first brought up being hesitant in starting something serious in this situation, just in general and esp him still in communication with his ex. he originally said he couldn't 'excomminicate' her from his life and throw their friendship 'under the bus'. i straight up told him i wasnt comfortable and it might be best for us to move on. he persisted, after talking it through he agrees they shouldn't be talking and that he will have to tell her they should be fully broken up and that wont be talking for 'awhile' and for at least the duration we are together. he's persistent in saying he does not want to be with her, neither she with him, that they don't have feelings for each other and since they're too young to get married and the like, and they were not growing as a couple anymore, the relationship naturally met its end. they both agreed to break it off, grow and individuals, meet new people, experience new things etc. however, about a month ago he told a friend of mine that though he does not want to be with her now and doesn't see getting back together happening anytime soon, they may get together sometime in the future, he doesn't know. he also indicated the same to me, 'i don't know what the future holds, or how either of us will change, we had a good relationship, especially if we're friends who knows.' any insight and advice would be appreciated.
welikeincrowds Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) i don't know what the future holds "I'm not committed" He may be carrying a torch for her. When life circumstances get in the way, it's easy to put a relationship down for a moment, but it's almost harder to walk away from it entirely. I don't want to accuse him of "using" you or anything, but you should be aware of his current stance. Edited April 14, 2011 by welikeincrowds
Author Crimesoftheheart Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) yeah it seems like he does, even though he says they dont have feelings for each other. i've never been in a relationship longer than a year, i can't imagine what its like to walk away from one after 4 years. hes definitely not taking to that idea though. he's really hanging onto the 'we dated for 4 years and ended on good terms, were friends' thing. is it to much to ask that he really break it off and not hold onto the idea of talking to her/continuing friendship again? he keeps telling me that he doesn't know what the future holds regarding her but calls me paranoid for considering it a concern. ugh. Edited April 14, 2011 by Crimesoftheheart
summerbreeze213 Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 i agree with your guy. nobody can predict the future.. he's given you the best guarantee he can for now. exes are exes for a reason. try not to worry bout too much bout her. it's beyond your control. if you are not entirely sure bout his feelings for you.. thre might be a fundamental problem in your relationship?
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