what is going to happen?

[whoknowswhattodo]

You are the roboundee, she doesn't deserve you

Get over her

Day 4 nc, its getting so hard not to call or text. I miss the I love yous and the conversations. I still have a lot of her family on fb and I just want to post a song keith whitley don't close your eyes what would that cause?

Its getting to hard to go on and I'm falling appart. Everything was fine then just puff I'm getting deleted and her ex is getting added. Wtf!!!!! Its just getting so hard to go on without her. What should I do???

Edited April 16, 2011 by whoknowswhattodo

[nana841121]

Breakup is as individual as millions people have been through.

 

Think it as a "growing pain"

 

You are not the worst case, be grateful of love

 

it's too early to say what you will get from this relationship.

 

She is not the one. remember her as a bad example to prevent in the future.

[Fufu]

You will always get better every time you sit through the roller coaster moods, don't give up.

 

nana841121 is right as above my post

 

 

I told this to myself as a motivation,

 

"my ex only hurt me once when he broke up with me, the rest of the time I was the one hurting myself because I refused to let go and move on. I don't have to hurt myself anymore."

[whoknowswhattodo]

You will always get better every time you sit through the roller coaster moods, don't give up.

 

nana841121 is right as above my post

 

 

I told this to myself as a motivation,

 

"my ex only hurt me once when he broke up with me, the rest of the time I was the one hurting myself because I refused to let go and move on. I don't have to hurt myself anymore."

 

I figured out what I'm going to do, I have no choice but nc that's what she wanted. I hope we can get back together but idk if she will. So all of you say a prayer for me that I can make it. I know this is going to be hard. When should I expect to hear from her again and how should I act? Should I send her a text and break nc or will thatmake her loose respect for me? It gets harder everyday to be without her, I hope this will bring us closer together and not further appart. I just hope she breaks nc soon.

[Fufu]

Nc is not about her, nc is about yourself.

 

She could still jolly talking to you but has not wish of being back with you.

 

Nobody will know if she will ever come back to you, which is why you have to move on and be able to live happily without the hope she is coming back. It is extremely pointless and unhealthy for yourself to wait around for a person when she doesnt feel the same way as you do now.

 

You dont have to text her to break nc, you just continue your personal journey of healing. If she's the one, you will find her there waiting for you, you don't have to do anything or initiate anything to get here back anymore. And if she really realizes you are the one for her, she will make the sincere contact ane action to be with you again. Remember, she let go of you and not the other way round.

 

Right now, you are being overly emotional, moving on helps you to rediscover yourself, rebuild yourself again, to help you to think logically. Time to focus on yourself.

[PelicanPete]

NC is hard. I know the last thing you're thinking about is self healing, you're wanting to get your ex back. You're still in that stage of thinking and that's perfectly ok. When my ex cheated on me and left me for someone else, part of me still wanted her back. I realized though over time it was me being afraid of the future, I wanted to cling onto the familiar even if it wasn't the best for me.

 

You know what I feel would be a good move? Just get a hold of her, tell her that you aren't going to wait around for her. Wish her the best, whatever, and just leave before she essentially beats you to the punch. Don't make it too emotional or serious, if you notice yourself doing it STOP. That way it will make her feel like she has lost YOU, not the other way around. She may feel a lot less comfortable with what she's doing if she knows that you aren't her puppet.

 

That way, you won't look so soft to her. I think it would really throw her off her game, it would at least make her think about you. I think it would be a good attempt at trying to get her back. People ALWAYS want what they feel they can't have.

 

If it doesn't work, you'll have somewhat of a sense of closure which is important. Closure makes NC a lot easier. You will be able to go NC knowing you've done everything you could to get her back.

[smith1975]

NC is hard. I know the last thing you're thinking about is self healing, you're wanting to get your ex back. You're still in that stage of thinking and that's perfectly ok. When my ex cheated on me and left me for someone else, part of me still wanted her back. I realized though over time it was me being afraid of the future, I wanted to cling onto the familiar even if it wasn't the best for me.

 

You know what I feel would be a good move? Just get a hold of her, tell her that you aren't going to wait around for her. Wish her the best, whatever, and just leave before she essentially beats you to the punch. Don't make it too emotional or serious, if you notice yourself doing it STOP. That way it will make her feel like she has lost YOU, not the other way around. She may feel a lot less comfortable with what she's doing if she knows that you aren't her puppet.

 

That way, you won't look so soft to her. I think it would really throw her off her game, it would at least make her think about you. I think it would be a good attempt at trying to get her back. People ALWAYS want what they feel they can't have.

 

If it doesn't work, you'll have somewhat of a sense of closure which is important. Closure makes NC a lot easier. You will be able to go NC knowing you've done everything you could to get her back.

Even though she's already broke up with him he should do this? What if she doesnt answer? My friend who had a very similar situation said, " dont call her, dont text her, dont put any of this crap on fb and I guarantee too you she will be back Idk if it will be 3months 6months or maybe a year but she will be back." I asked why and he said " Because thats what hors do." Idk what your saying makes alot of sense but what would be a good time to call even?

Edited April 17, 2011 by smith1975

[whoknowswhattodo]

NC is hard. I know the last thing you're thinking about is self healing, you're wanting to get your ex back. You're still in that stage of thinking and that's perfectly ok. When my ex cheated on me and left me for someone else, part of me still wanted her back. I realized though over time it was me being afraid of the future, I wanted to cling onto the familiar even if it wasn't the best for me.

 

You know what I feel would be a good move? Just get a hold of her, tell her that you aren't going to wait around for her. Wish her the best, whatever, and just leave before she essentially beats you to the punch. Don't make it too emotional or serious, if you notice yourself doing it STOP. That way it will make her feel like she has lost YOU, not the other way around. She may feel a lot less comfortable with what she's doing if she knows that you aren't her puppet.

 

That way, you won't look so soft to her. I think it would really throw her off her game, it would at least make her think about you. I think it would be a good attempt at trying to get her back. People ALWAYS want what they feel they can't have.

 

If it doesn't work, you'll have somewhat of a sense of closure which is important. Closure makes NC a lot easier. You will be able to go NC knowing you've done everything you could to get her back.

 

That's very good, I really want to say I wish you were here so we could do it doggie style (her favorite way btw) but idk because she might try to turn it around on me. She might be 20 but she's quick with the game.

Idk I'm worried ill never be with her again and this sounds real good. But like smith75 said what if she don't answer? Or when she does answer she's mad that I called?

Well it couldn't get any worse. But idk when her and her ex broke up along time ago he never called her or nothing she went and texted him. I know he's just going to be jealous and use her, not to mention controling. But idk I'm still hurting more everyday but I am begining to be able to think.

My mother said, "let her come to you and don't answer the first time she calls, make her wait and don't push anything.

And keep a strong voice." Not yelling just a strong voice. What do you think pelicanpete?? That sounds good thogh.

[PelicanPete]

My friend who had a very similar situation said, " dont call her, dont text her, dont put any of this crap on fb and I guarantee too you she will be back Idk if it will be 3months 6months or maybe a year but she will be back." I asked why and he said " Because thats what hors do."

 

haha couldn't help but snicker at this. so true with my experience, thanks for the laugh.

 

 

She never officially broke up with him. She said she needs space to sort things out with her ex or something along those lines. She added her ex on facebook but blocked him, things are looking pretty grim.

 

Rationalizing it, if he waits around and acts like her doormat, he's going to be treated like one. Dumpee going NC is a way of moving on, not being pushed around emotionally by the dumper, and shows the dumper what they're missing, which can sometimes cause them to come back.

 

I feel in a relationship, respect is a lot more important then love. What she is doing isn't very respectful to her current boyfriend which is OP. I originally suggested NC, but he's having a lot of trouble with it and I don't blame him.

 

She obviously still has feelings for her ex, so I bet she isn't giving much thought to OP right now considering she has him blocked. If he basically pulls the trigger before she does, leaves in a confident manner with his pride intact, she will probably start thinking about him. After all he just broke up with her. They'll then switch places and she'll have to make some big decisions. Reverse psychology.

 

OP will hold all the power. If she decides that she wants back together with him, then OP will get to decide that. If she doesn't, well at least OP won't be emotionally strung along, still have his confidence, and closure. Without those things NC can be a lot harder.

[PelicanPete]

That's very good, I really want to say I wish you were here so we could do it doggie style (her favorite way btw) but idk because she might try to turn it around on me. She might be 20 but she's quick with the game.

Idk I'm worried ill never be with her again and this sounds real good. But like smith75 said what if she don't answer? Or when she does answer she's mad that I called?

Well it couldn't get any worse. But idk when her and her ex broke up along time ago he never called her or nothing she went and texted him. I know he's just going to be jealous and use her, not to mention controling. But idk I'm still hurting more everyday but I am begining to be able to think.

My mother said, "let her come to you and don't answer the first time she calls, make her wait and don't push anything.

And keep a strong voice." Not yelling just a strong voice. What do you think pelicanpete?? That sounds good thogh.

 

 

Sorry didn't see this til now.

 

Your mom is right about keeping a strong voice, you don't have to do it over the phone though. You could always email her, write her or text her if you don't feel confident enough.

 

I can't really see a downside to breaking up with her before she breaks up with you though. It will just take a lot of will. I mean it wasn't like you were abusive towards her or anything, if anything you seemed to treat her great. I don't think she deserves the right to keep you in limbo and waiting on her to pick between you and her ex. It looks like the ex is winning right now though, shes got you blocked and added him on facebook.

 

doggy style is always legit, but i would avoid making things too personal in the message. Keep it short and sweet, don't go on about how she was the greatest thing ever, and how much you love her and miss her, or anything extremely affectionate like that. Don't insult her either though, nothing spiteful or angry. I would suggest just saying something along the lines of "I don't think we should be together anymore because of the current situation. I hope you find what you're looking for." You can probably think of something better than I can, keep it light, simple, but direct that you won't be pushed around by this. Its important that she keeps respecting you.

 

 

She kept respect for her ex because he probably didn't get pushed around, or didn't start begging or pleading her when she disappeared. I dont really know who broke up with who, but think about it.

 

IF YOU WANT TO DO THIS (this is entirely your choice in the end, if you aren't comfortable with it you can just continue NC) find a for sure way for the message of you breaking up with her getting to her. If you do it over the phone and she starts arguing or getting emotional, just say sorry and hang up. There's no way you can win in that situation. You are then the dumper, and can take it from there.

 

 

If she doesn't care, or if she never gets back to you, then she isn't worth your time. You broke up with her, you will come out of the relationship a little bit better off with your confidence, closure, pride, and knowing you gave it your all. There won't be extra feelings to deal with like betrayal, being strung along, and all the bitterness her breaking up with you would cause. Relationships take two, one person can't make it work.

 

If she starts acting like a dumpee, and begging for you back, well you got what you wanted. It's a win/win in my opinion. It will just take a lot of will power and strength. If she ever loved you, she will be back. And if she never did, you're better off without her.

[whoknowswhattodo]

haha couldn't help but snicker at this. so true with my experience, thanks for the laugh.

 

 

She never officially broke up with him. She said she needs space to sort things out with her ex or something along those lines. She added her ex on facebook but blocked him, things are looking pretty grim.

 

Rationalizing it, if he waits around and acts like her doormat, he's going to be treated like one. Dumpee going NC is a way of moving on, not being pushed around emotionally by the dumper, and shows the dumper what they're missing, which can sometimes cause them to come back.

 

I feel in a relationship, respect is a lot more important then love. What she is doing isn't very respectful to her current boyfriend which is OP. I originally suggested NC, but he's having a lot of trouble with it and I don't blame him.

 

She obviously still has feelings for her ex, so I bet she isn't giving much thought to OP right now considering she has him blocked. If he basically pulls the trigger before she does, leaves in a confident manner with his pride intact, she will probably start thinking about him. After all he just broke up with her. They'll then switch places and she'll have to make some big decisions. Reverse psychology.

 

OP will hold all the power. If she decides that she wants back together with him, then OP will get to decide that. If she doesn't, well at least OP won't be emotionally strung along, still have his confidence, and closure. Without those things NC can be a lot harder.

 

Ok I talk to a good friend that is a girl and she said, "nc will drive her crazy and you will hear from her again I promise you. Because she's so young she is still stuck in highschool mode and when she opens her eyes and can see the love you have for her and all the sweet things you do for her will make her want you soooo bad. So keep nc idk when she will call but she will pretty soon I think because yall were so close for to long for her not to." - that's what she said does everyone think she's right? Y/N please let me know what your thinking everyone.

[nana841121]

fool me once, shame on you.

fool me twice, shame on me.

[PelicanPete]

In the end you have to do what feels right to you. Both NC and breaking up with her have the potential of working or failing. Honestly though she seems confused with what she wants. If she doesn't know what she wants in life it can be hard to have a serious relationship with her. She carried all this baggage from her past relationship which wasn't fair, she didn't object to your relationship moving so fast which wasn't fair, and she's now needing space from you to talk to her ex, which isn't fair.

 

You wouldn't do this to someone you deeply care about, someone you're engaged to even. She may not be doing this all on purpose but this is a side effect of her being ignorant to herself, which is causing her to be selfish.

 

I really think breaking up with her would be the best option for you, but it is your decision in the end. It isn't fair that she has you blocked and twiddling your thumbs while shes doing whatever with her ex, I already explained all the reasons why breaking up with her would be beneficial, but I guess the main one being you'll feel a lot better if you do it, rather than her stringing you along and quite possibly breaking up with you.

 

Even if she doesn't, and she comes back to you after all of this, that doesn't mean it's all ok to me. She will still have the same problems down the line unless she reflects on the situation and grows. Easiest time to emotionally grow? A break up. She refused to when her and her ex broke up, because she jumped into a rebound with you. Look what is happening now because of that. If she doesn't find who she is that can really hurt you, and she's pretty much a time bomb. I'm not saying she will hurt you a week later, or a month later, it can happen ANY time during your relationship.

 

So honestly my opinion, break up with her. She will instantly have to make the decision between you or her ex. If she picks the easier road, her ex, self explanatory she isn't worth it. If she picks you and wants back together, dont jump into a relationship with her, give her 2-3 months by herself with NC with her being single. It'll be hard on you but it will be the best if you want a long term relationship with her.

[whoknowswhattodo]

In the end you have to do what feels right to you. Both NC and breaking up with her have the potential of working or failing. Honestly though she seems confused with what she wants. If she doesn't know what she wants in life it can be hard to have a serious relationship with her. She carried all this baggage from her past relationship which wasn't fair, she didn't object to your relationship moving so fast which wasn't fair, and she's now needing space from you to talk to her ex, which isn't fair.

 

You wouldn't do this to someone you deeply care about, someone you're engaged to even. She may not be doing this all on purpose but this is a side effect of her being ignorant to herself, which is causing her to be selfish.

 

I really think breaking up with her would be the best option for you, but it is your decision in the end. It isn't fair that she has you blocked and twiddling your thumbs while shes doing whatever with her ex, I already explained all the reasons why breaking up with her would be beneficial, but I guess the main one being you'll feel a lot better if you do it, rather than her stringing you along and quite possibly breaking up with you.

 

Even if she doesn't, and she comes back to you after all of this, that doesn't mean it's all ok to me. She will still have the same problems down the line unless she reflects on the situation and grows. Easiest time to emotionally grow? A break up. She refused to when her and her ex broke up, because she jumped into a rebound with you. Look what is happening now because of that. If she doesn't find who she is that can really hurt you, and she's pretty much a time bomb. I'm not saying she will hurt you a week later, or a month later, it can happen ANY time during your relationship.

 

So honestly my opinion, break up with her. She will instantly have to make the decision between you or her ex. If she picks the easier road, her ex, self explanatory she isn't worth it. If she picks you and wants back together, dont jump into a relationship with her, give her 2-3 months by herself with NC with her being single. It'll be hard on you but it will be the best if you want a long term relationship with her.

 

I got burned, I got burned bad I know. I'm just hoping it all works out how it should. I'm not going to give in though no matter how bad I want to. I would keep a strong manner if I talk to her. Idk what to do if she just texts me and says we need to talk. What do I do if that happens? Idk anything right now. I really feel she is bi-polar. What kills me most is I have no control over what's happening. Iits day 5nc and idk what's up? Is she ever coming back?

[PelicanPete]

I got burned, I got burned bad I know. I'm just hoping it all works out how it should. I'm not going to give in though no matter how bad I want to. I would keep a strong manner if I talk to her. Idk what to do if she just texts me and says we need to talk. What do I do if that happens? Idk anything right now. I really feel she is bi-polar. What kills me most is I have no control over what's happening. Iits day 5nc and idk what's up? Is she ever coming back?

 

You got burned, but you can avoid getting burned again.

I can't give anymore advice, it's probably not what you want to hear but the advice I have given shows your options. It's in your hands now, there's nothing left I can say. Post again if there are updates, or maybe someone else will give their opinion. Whatever you decide to do I hope it works for you . Break ups are always rough. Stay strong.