Cassandra92 Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 It's been four months since the break up, two since I moved to a different city, and in that time we still haven't really gone NC. After I moved he sent me a big email about things being over between us and needing to move on, but then a few weeks later he emailed me again saying he missed me and wanting to know how my life was. Needless to say, plenty of mixed messages, and that's only the beginning of it. I'm going home to visit my family in a few days and I stupidly told him to get back to me about whether he wants to see me when I come back or not, handing him all the power. He hasn't gotten back to me, not even when I texted him again and he told me he was busy. I'm sick of it, I'm sick of being this messed up over him even when I'm miles away, I'm sick of the games and I'm especially sick of crying over him and feeling alone. It's been nothing short of emotionally abusive, and he's not stupid either, he would know what he's doing. I know I need to completely change my way of thinking about myself, but I also know it's going to take a while. I just don't see a friend in myself and a lot of the time I find it really hard to be alone, in my own company. I need to value myself more and know that I deserve better. He is not the person for me, no matter how much I love him. The person I am meant to be with would never do that to me, I know that, but every bone in my body still aches for him and if when I go home he contacts me, I know it is going to take a lot of willpower not to see him. I went to see a counsellor and that helped a bit, although she did tell me she thought I had been depressed for years and might need to go on medication, which freaked me out a little. I can talk to my friends but they are all happily in relationships and I think they are a little bit at a loss as to how to help me. Any suggestions of books that people think might help me would be greatly appreciated, I am pretty much willing to do anything to work towards getting myself out of this mess. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I don't know how much more I can take.
GrayClouds Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 I would suggest picking up the book "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing: Turn the End of a Relationship into the Beginning of a New Life" And do the exercises, they may feel a bit corny but they you will get something out of them. It is a very good book. Another one that may be useful is "It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broke". Another suggestion is go NC otherwise it just will hold you back and you will keep picking the scab and bleed it time to heal. And keep posting let your self rant and rave, cry and shout it all helps and you will get through this and be better for it. What you did took courage, when your having a bad moment remmed yourself of that. Be kind to yourself.
brokendreamz Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Firstly I agree with the above. NC it all the way and try to move on with your life. Secondly, I am 3 months out of an 8 year relationship. I too went to see a therapist and was prescribed anti depressants from my doc. It took me weeks to admit I'd been depressed and finally take the meds but boy am I glad I did. They have helped MASSIVELY and coupled with the therapy I can now see that IT WILL GET BETTER! It's going to take some work but I know I'll come out of this a better person... So will you. Look after yourself x
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