bac Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 (edited) You said things about yourself in a way that turns all women off. You did it intentionally for some reason. No smile can help if you have no job at 35. If you are at 35 and you do not have job, you should not both smile and try to date. the Pictures are fine you are an attractive male. Edited April 15, 2011 by bac
Karlie Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Ross, can I recommend a book to you? I'm sure your local library can get it for you, or you might find it cheaply on Amazon.co.uk - it's called Maximum Achievement by Brian Tracy. You might not find it all relevant but I think there are some things in there that might really help.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 As an experiment, I may take down both the pics on my profile, delete what I've said, and then put up the smiling pic and say something more normal. Just to see what happens. Even though people have said I look good smiling, it'll still feel really surprising if a woman shows interest. So it'll be interesting to see what happens.
oaks Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 As an experiment, I may take down both the pics on my profile, delete what I've said, and then put up the smiling pic and say something more normal. Just to see what happens. Then you're going to start sending messages to women you find attractive, right? Otherwise what will happen is pretty much nothing - there's a current thread in here about how few unsolicited messages guys get on dating sites.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Then you're going to start sending messages to women you find attractive, right? Otherwise what will happen is pretty much nothing - there's a current thread in here about how few unsolicited messages guys get on dating sites. No, I'll just wait and see if any contact me. If any do, I will compare how many contacted me within a certain amount of time, to how many did within the same amount of time with my older profile, which had the two pictures it has now, but with a more positive description.
dispatch3d Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Why waste time complaining about "girls dont like me". Wah wah. Who cares dude. And why would you want to present yourself like that to anyone? Would you go up to your buddy and start talking about that? Why talk to girls about that crap. I'd rather not! Just say something you like do, events you would like to attend, stuff you're into, what kind things interest you, etc. etc. Don't be a negative nancy/whiner, nobody likes those!
Bionic Me Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 I only made the profile to talk to women about my situation. I wouldn't actually have the confidence to go on a date. Who the hell would wants to hear about someone's "situation" on a dating site?! They are not there to support you. They are there to find someone to date. It's not a "support site" that's what LS is for not POF.
Bionic Me Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 Well it's definatley a relief to realise that I may not look really horrible when fully smiling and it might be just how I'm seeing it. And at this point I am honestly thinking that you just like attention and come up with this kind of bs to get it. Sorry, I tell it like I see it. There is only so much negative stuff that a person can come up with about themselves when others are telling them positive things. It quickly turns into their show.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Why waste time complaining about "girls dont like me". Wah wah. Who cares dude. And why would you want to present yourself like that to anyone? Would you go up to your buddy and start talking about that? Why talk to girls about that crap. I'd rather not! Just say something you like do, events you would like to attend, stuff you're into, what kind things interest you, etc. etc. Don't be a negative nancy/whiner, nobody likes those! So if you were in my situation you wouldn't care?
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 What if a guy's interests aren't one's that a woman would approve of? What do you talk about then? He'll probably say I should just make stuff up.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Who the hell would wants to hear about someone's "situation" on a dating site?! They are not there to support you. They are there to find someone to date. It's not a "support site" that's what LS is for not POF. Some people might want to hear about it, some people might want to support me.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 And at this point I am honestly thinking that you just like attention and come up with this kind of bs to get it. Sorry, I tell it like I see it. There is only so much negative stuff that a person can come up with about themselves when others are telling them positive things. It quickly turns into their show. Well, if that's what you think, that's what you think. I don't think there is any way for me to prove you wrong. You're kinda sounding a bit stressed btw.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 15, 2011 Author Posted April 15, 2011 Some here have serious self-esteem issues that have lasted many years. A few pleasant words aren't going to wipe that away in a matter of seconds. Thank you.
oaks Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 No, I'll just wait and see if any contact me. If any do, I will compare how many contacted me within a certain amount of time, to how many did within the same amount of time with my older profile, which had the two pictures it has now, but with a more positive description. Oh ok. That works.
dispatch3d Posted April 15, 2011 Posted April 15, 2011 So if you were in my situation you wouldn't care? I find complaining doesn't help things, all it does is make things worse. So I would just avoid complaining about it. Not care - I mean, I don't think I would say I wouldn't be upset about it. Would I think about it all the time? Definitely not. Would I talk about it on a dating website where I COULD meet a girl I like? Definitely not (on purpose)! haha I enjoy how I added the onpurpose. The fact is everyone is going to get upset, whine, and complain. That's okay, its human nature. The key is recognizing when you are acting a little down, and stop fueling it. Be down on yourself if you want, but don't wallow there - constant complaining, etc. What's the point. There are good days and bad.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 16, 2011 Author Posted April 16, 2011 I find complaining doesn't help things, all it does is make things worse. So I would just avoid complaining about it. Not care - I mean, I don't think I would say I wouldn't be upset about it. Would I think about it all the time? Definitely not. Would I talk about it on a dating website where I COULD meet a girl I like? Definitely not (on purpose)! haha I enjoy how I added the onpurpose. The fact is everyone is going to get upset, whine, and complain. That's okay, its human nature. The key is recognizing when you are acting a little down, and stop fueling it. Be down on yourself if you want, but don't wallow there - constant complaining, etc. What's the point. There are good days and bad. I know, if I start thinking/talking about it for long enough I do end up feeling even worse. The worse I feel the more I need to vent/whine/talk about it, which then means the more I'm focusing on it all the time, and the more harder it is to let go of those thoughts. It's like a vicious circle. But recently I have been trying to stop doing this. As soon as the negative thoughts come into my mind, I try to let go of them and not dwell on them.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 Well since putting up the full smiling picture with the old positive description on POF, which has been up longer than the first profile where I had two women contacting me within a few days, not one woman has shown interest. It's now hard for me to believe that I do look okay in that picture. Any, I've just updated my description, thought I'd tell the truth, just to see what kind of a reaction I get from the 'alien' opposite sex who do not validate me as a male. http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=27036918
Anxiety Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 My god, get rid of the "About Me" paragraph. You sound like your about ready to shoot yourself. Say something positive.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 22, 2011 Author Posted April 22, 2011 My god, get rid of the "About Me" paragraph. You sound like your about ready to shoot yourself. Say something positive. Why? Check out my first interest in the interests section.
Eclypse Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 You really are shooting yourself in the foot with that description. You need to fix it. You sound like you don't want to get a woman? Why is that? Why are you on there then? Also I'm not a woman but I'd be willing to bet a very large sum of money that pretty much no women (especially online dating ones) would actively contact and seek to date an unemployed 35 year old virgin living with his mum who is depressed.
Anxiety Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Why? Check out my first interest in the interests section. Oh, its ten times better now, you'll be fighting them off with a stick.
ScreamingTrees Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 Wow, even if being a dude doesn't mean much for what I'm about to say, I have to say that you smiling made such a big difference in how you looked to me. Honestly, you look so much better just smiling, dude. And if you're serious about the description, why would you type all of your insecurities into a profile? People in general, regardless of gender, CAN be forgiving, but they'll be turned off when you lay them out like that because there's nothing positive there.. Get rid of all of that negativity.. Try to be POSITIVE even if it goes against your natural self-perpetuing depressing instinct. I have some random suggestions that worked for me in my darkest moments.. lift up some weights or exercise (it apparently is good for you mentally as well as physically), and think of good things about you and don't sweat the things that you cannot change.. EMBRACE the things that you can't change because I rarely see something in particular about someone that I find unnattractive, female OR male. (Not that I look for attractive qualities in males, but.. lol) You can learn to love your individuality. Happiness comes from within, not outside of yourself. It's a frame of mind that if you're not familiar with, it may be hard to find at first, but it's a gradual change.
Disillusioned Posted April 22, 2011 Posted April 22, 2011 http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=27036918 What do you think? I think you're stealing my routine, you damn crook. >:-(
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 (edited) You really are shooting yourself in the foot with that description. You need to fix it. You sound like you don't want to get a woman? Why is that? Why are you on there then? Also I'm not a woman but I'd be willing to bet a very large sum of money that pretty much no women (especially online dating ones) would actively contact and seek to date an unemployed 35 year old virgin living with his mum who is depressed. Well yeah, of course I know that. I was drunk and was feeling really down about my situation, so I just did it to make myself feel better (how doing that kind of thing makes me feel better, I don't know), and I was just curious about the kind of reaction I'd get. I kind of just did it for a joke at the same time as well. Edited April 23, 2011 by Ross MwcFan
Author Ross MwcFan Posted April 23, 2011 Author Posted April 23, 2011 Wow, even if being a dude doesn't mean much for what I'm about to say, I have to say that you smiling made such a big difference in how you looked to me. Honestly, you look so much better just smiling, dude. And if you're serious about the description, why would you type all of your insecurities into a profile? People in general, regardless of gender, CAN be forgiving, but they'll be turned off when you lay them out like that because there's nothing positive there.. Get rid of all of that negativity.. Try to be POSITIVE even if it goes against your natural self-perpetuing depressing instinct. I have some random suggestions that worked for me in my darkest moments.. lift up some weights or exercise (it apparently is good for you mentally as well as physically), and think of good things about you and don't sweat the things that you cannot change.. EMBRACE the things that you can't change because I rarely see something in particular about someone that I find unnattractive, female OR male. (Not that I look for attractive qualities in males, but.. lol) You can learn to love your individuality. Happiness comes from within, not outside of yourself. It's a frame of mind that if you're not familiar with, it may be hard to find at first, but it's a gradual change. The thing is though, ever since putting up the full smiling pic, no one has contacted me or shown me any interest. It's as if it does confirm what I thought in the first place. That I look absolutley horrible.
Recommended Posts