Trevster Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Well its been almost 2 full weeks of full NC well for me I can say the least. She started to play an Iphone game against me again yesterday i didnt know what to think of it though. We seen each other at church sunday but she totally ignored me and then she plays a game against me on tuesday its really mind bobbling for me especially that even though its a game it was like the thing that me and her did together.... But i feel like i want to write her an email and here is a draft that i have put together!!!!! Hey, i know we havent been in contact for about two weeks i know we have seen each other but have ignored each other and 3 years we been together and it hurts to do that because we have grown so close together.. But the thing i have to say to you know is that i want to THANK you for breaking up with me. If you wouldnt have then our relationship would have continued and more than likely ended in an even worst way. BUt you have helped me find myself and who i really am. You have helped me work on getting closer to the lord and being able to find what i need in a relationship. I thought all i needed was sex and to be physical i have always put that at nukber 1 but deep down all i really needed was a women that cared for me for who i was and nothing more because if she can accept me for all the life struggles i have had and all the things i have been through like at my graduation when my life feel apart and you came to my side and i was telling you to leave you looked me in the eyes and told me you would never leave my side. I know that if a girl can put herslef through everything i have been through and be by my side she is something special. That means alot, i now know that I just want that girl for who she is not for what she gots. Even if that girl has every flaw that i never wanted in a girl or she is so skinny cause deep down inside me that is what has made her perfect in every way for me and i wouldnt change it a bit... It doesnt matter if something drastic happened to her where her looks changed or she couldnt get out of a bed for the rest of her life i would go through the life stuggles with her like she has been with me because i feel in love once with looks but now im more in love with who she is as a person looks mean nothing to me anymore. But im just writing this to THANK you because it is really helping me become a better person because I know i have messed up alot. People say im a great guy but deep down i should have been better and now ill never go back to the way i was. Im still trevor but i needed to work on things espeially if i ever wanted a relationship to start new or even last with someone.... Im just glad you have helped me find myself and what i truly need and how i want to wait till im married to be hysially intimate with my special someone so all those emotions can build up tilll that special day. Iv said that before but now im willing to stick to my words because i now have the lord on my side helping to guide me. With or without you thats how i intend to live the rest of my life so i THANK you so much for stil helping me even if we arent together right now...... You still are there for me even when i thought you werent thanks... Ok so thats is mainly what i want to send to her just so she knows something so she knows there is a change and again its not a letter to get her back its a letter to just express how greatful i am that she has helped me trough all these hardships that i have been facing..... It even made me tear up some just typing it bc she has been there alot..... I have worked on myself so much and i feel like i am ready to face reality and everything else...... ADVICE AND INPUT REALLY APPRECIATED TAKE IT EASY ON ME!!!!!
EyesWideOpen Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Stick to no contact. Now that you've vented all your feelings into this letter...delete it. She's more than likely going to interpret it as an attempt to get back together, or worse, as an attempt to manipulate her emotions. Save it for when you've both had adquate time to really do some healing and changing.
Fufu Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I will recommend stick to NC too.. but at the end of the day, it's your decision
Author Trevster Posted April 13, 2011 Author Posted April 13, 2011 I mean I do want to stick to my NC because I have done so great at it even playing that game I haven't played her back she could have resigned or let it on it's own and didn't so that really seems odd to me that she couldn't that's what gets me especially since it seemed so easy to delete me off Facebook and our pictures!! But in this case I simply wanted to thank her because NC and her breaking up with me has helped me with my walk in the lord and to find him in a much better way! Honestly I have been praying for a sign that she still cares for me and misses me then she plays that game after 11 days it seems so weir but again it has really helped me find myself in a much better way so it feels great but I don't want it to seem like I am manipulating her or anything of that sort! Just hard in this decision!!
silvermane187 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 i'll say this much; I wish I had never sent my ex the letters I did after the breakup. My advice would be not to send it. If I had told myself this 5 months ago I wouldn't have listened though.
EyesWideOpen Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 But in this case I simply wanted to thank her because NC and her breaking up with me has helped me with my walk in the lord and to find him in a much better way! While your intentions may be purely appreciative...the letter is still going to be met with extreme skepticism on her part because you guys just broke up a couple weeks ago. Even when I read the letter, the first thought in my mind was "he's just wanting to entice her back into his life". I'm not even the one who broke up with you, and this was my first assumption! I understand that may not be your goal, but that is the most likely way it will be perceived. So if the goal is strictly to convey your thanks, and there's a good probability that the letter won't actually accomplish this goal, then what good will breaking NC do? Do what you will, and rationalize all the reasons you want for it...but ultimately it's still probably best to just stick with NC. (which should probably include the iPhone game, imo)
flitzanu Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 i'll say this much; I wish I had never sent my ex the letters I did after the breakup. My advice would be not to send it. If I had told myself this 5 months ago I wouldn't have listened though. agreed +100000000000000
Tasha49 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I do not think you should send that letter/email. At least not with so many details. You sidetrack too much in this letter and go on about past memories that suggests you are dwelling on them and missing them. If you choose to break NC anyway despite our resentment for that idea, simply just cut to the chase in that letter. Tell her thank you for making you see the light and that you have changed because she has really made you put your life on display. That you didn't know what you were doing until it was too late. I would keep it short and simple. If she does not reply to this letter you want to send, you will feel more terrible than you did before sending it. And you seem to be doing decently with NC. Why change something that is going well? Don't give her the satisfaction of boosting her ego. Let her come to you. If she cares at all, she will.
Tasha49 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 And if she missed you that much, she would do more than play an iphone game with you...
Author Trevster Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 Y'all are right NC has helped me with myself alot and it does feel great I guess it felt better to know she broke NC in some sort of way and it wasn't me! Even her texting me about me owing her money she I'd earlier today and was like I'll meet you later to get it and it was a simple conversation nothing demanding a little chit chat but she started it and didnt know what to do then!! Any other suggestions on that I have still yet to meet her.
EyesWideOpen Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Y'all are right NC has helped me with myself alot and it does feel great I guess it felt better to know she broke NC in some sort of way and it wasn't me! Even her texting me about me owing her money she I'd earlier today and was like I'll meet you later to get it and it was a simple conversation nothing demanding a little chit chat but she started it and didnt know what to do then!! Any other suggestions on that I have still yet to meet her. Pay her the money that you owe her ASAP (assuming, of course, that you do owe her money) and then resume no contact. And my advice would be to keep it strictly business. Don't use it as an opportunity to talk about the relationship, and if she tries - simply tell her that you're not comfortable dwelling on it, that there's nothing more to talk about, and maybe remind her that she broke up with you. And if she's insistent on bringing up the past or talking about the replationship, simply ask her "do you want to get back together?" The answer will most likely be no. In which case I would then ask her why she feels the need to bring it up, and remind her (again) that she broke up with you, and unless she's changed her mind she needs to drop it. I say this because...in my opinion...anyone who breaks up with someone and then finds excuses to stay in contact or to talk about the past is just looking for attention. Don't fall prey to that. It'll just hurt more in the end.
Author Trevster Posted April 14, 2011 Author Posted April 14, 2011 Read my next post just seen her!!!
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