sushigirl Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 I have another question to bother you all with. HOpe you all will help me out again. I personally think I have been really tolerant of this, but tell me if you think I'm just being a possessive jerk of a gf. My bf (yes, the same one that doesn't want to meet my friends.) and his ex-gf dated for 4 years before he met me. He says they are best friends right now. So that's all well and good, I say I want to meet this best friend of his. He is uncomfortable and shows me that he doesn't want me to or doesn't see the need to. Originally I wouldn't see the need to meet her either, but she is now apparently moving away permanently after this year and so they've planned a trip to Cuba together. It will be just the 2 of them away in Cuba for 3 weeks. Just so they have "something to remember each other by." I am really uncomfortable with this, but if it were me, I'd like to be able to do that with my best friend. I've already let him know that it bothers me. He hasn't done anything about it except to avoid telling me any more info on this best friend unless I prod him for it. What can I do ?? And am I being oversensitive ??
flowers123 Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 i think you have every right to be bothered by the trip of two former lovers. i know i would not want my bf to go on a trip overseas w/ his ex-gf, no matter how good of friends they are. that's just wrong of him and very insensitive if i might add. i hate to burst your bubbles, but it seems to me like something smells fishy between the two of them.
Kate Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 nevermind whether or not it is your "right" to be sensitive to this -- you would be seemingly uninterested in him and strange if you weren't. it is overstepping your boundaries for him to do this. don't ask him not to go -- you need to decide for yourself if you can continue dating him after he goes. it's not about how he feels about you, it's how you feel about yourself. he's obviously going to do whatever he wants despite your feelings...so tell him how you feel. then make a decision based on how YOU feel. i think he is treating you like sloppy-seconds. i would be interested to know what exactly happened to their relationship? also, if you were that important to him, he wouldn't do this.
Author sushigirl Posted April 6, 2004 Author Posted April 6, 2004 thanks for the replies. I'm just trying to be fair to him b/c my family and friends have already told me that, but they already don't like him for other reasons. You ask why they broke up. I really don't have much of an answer for you b/c he is not very open with me about anything. I've asked many times b4 and all I've gotten for an answer is that he didn't get along with her family. He also said there were a number of things, all of them which he didn't want to name. Does it matter that we've been doing long distance for the past 7 months?
Kate Posted April 10, 2004 Posted April 10, 2004 yes, it matters! LD is difficult to begin with, even with a solid foundation. He is having more than one relationship. period.
lost_in_chgo Posted April 10, 2004 Posted April 10, 2004 Yeah LD matters. He's moved on and doesn't have the spine to tell you.
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