LoserInLove Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 I've fallen in love with a guy. He never made a commitment, and I never pushed him. He never saw anyone else and neither did I, although we only got together every few weeks. Things have been getting much more intimate on an emotional level and I thought we were moving towards a committed relationship. Then he tells me he is not happy with his life and wants to move overseas for half a year to get some breathing space. He's already booked the bloody hotels and planes and everything and never consulted me once. Certainly, he can do whatever he wants, but I can't believe he has made this major decision and I wasn't a part of it. I can't believe he is leaving just when I thought things were going to be amazing between us. How can he make love to me and caress me and then plan to leave for Paris without even thinking about me?? I know he cares about me. Why is he running away?? It hurts so much and he has no answers. I want to hit him but all I can do is cry. I don't want to live even a day without knowing he is in my life. Can anyone make me feel better??
Papillon Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 Ouch...I can just imagine your anger, pain, and confusion. You must feel very betrayed, but what I would suggest is that you put aside your own feelings for the moment. I know that is will be hard, even impossible to do, but you have to compartmentalise everything and try to put this all into perspective. First of all, I don't think he is running away from you, not at all. He is undergoing some sort of personal turmoil and wants to run away. Fine. But if you want to come out of this unscathed you are going to have to see it from point of view. What he is doing is extremely self-centred, selfish and inconsiderate. Be that as it may, it obviously has nothing to do with you. I would not take it personally at all. When people are in a rut of self-depression, they cannot see themselves in a different light, and the things we try and do to help are unnoticed and often unwelcome. Happiness is an inside job, and he has decided to persue it without you. His loss. This must be extremely painful. You should start preparing yourself for the end of your relationship - he already has, I'm afraid. Thing is, one day he WILL come crawling back. You can COUNT on it. Whether you will be prepared to put this behind you and forgive him, well, only time will tell.
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