donelly1 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Recently my girlfriend of 2 years told me that she wanted to take a break. We are in a long distance relationship but we have been together with each other for about a year. Right now I live in Japan and she lives in America and it's been 3 months that I haven't seen her in person. I always thought we were a solid couple and I still love her a lot. I talked to her on the phone today and told her my true feelings. She said that the reason she wants to take a break is because she only has 1 month left of college studying abroad in America before she comes back to Japan to study, and wants to spend time with friends there before she has to return to school in Japan. I'm really confused because she said she loves me and stuff but that she just feels conflicted because she wants to spend time talking to me and also doing things with her friends and that she doesn't have time for both. On the phone she was crying so much. Since to me a "break" seems like breaking up I asked her a couple times on the phone if she wanted to just break up and she said no. Even during that phone call I was really confident and was joking around with her and stuff a little later on. I was understanding and agreed with her and I said although I don't wanna take a break that if she really wants one, and there is a chance that our relationship would be better because of it in the future, that I agree. There was lots of emotions and we really clicked still. She kept saying how selfish she feels but that her friends were giving her so much pressure and she wants to enjoy the small amount of the rest of her time there. She knows that I really care about her because I moved here and found a job so I could be with her. She definitely takes our relationship seriously and said that she cant wait to see me in a month and stay at my place and sent me like 5 messages a day. That was one week before she broke up with me. It's been rough ever since I came to Japan one month ago though because we don't talk as much. I have told her we could talk maybe only once a week to give her space and time to enjoy the rest of her study abroad but we did that for a couple weeks and now she says that since we never talk she feels like she doesn't know me anymore! It's hard because I don't have a cell phone and the time difference is so big we haven't been talking as much since I got here. I'm working in Japan so I figured I will see her in a month, which makes me so surprised that she would break up with me a month before we will see each other again. Maybe it is true that she just wants to have more time with friends and stuff but I get the feeling she likes another guy. I don’t know for sure and I don’t really want to but I’m 95% sure she has found someone else. Why else would she just change so suddenly towards me? One week before she broke up with me she sent me messages about how she was so in love with me and that she could never have a better boyfriend. I was always appreciative and let her know how much I loved her and very open to her going out with friends. I have told her before too that I don't care if she dances with other guys and stuff at bars, because I don't wanna be one of those creepy possessive boyfriends. I feel like she may find a guy she is really into but that after the "honeymoon" stage of a few months she will realize how good she had it with me. I was always relaxed with her hanging out with other guys because I know that it will be super hard for her to find a boyfriend as laidback, social, and fun as I was with her. I just feel so heart broken. We are both in our early 20's and this is my first big break up. On top of that I am in Japan, starting a new job and dont know anyone here. I dont have anyone to talk to here and Im having second thoughts about why the hell I'm here, because part of the reason I came here was to be close to her. I'm still very much in love with her and I have told her all this but I don't think she feels the same anymore. I honestly think that if we were in the same place together things would be fine but just because the distance we have lost track of each other. I always made sure she new how important she was to me and never took her for granted. I wanna know if anyone has advice on how or what to do to get her back? Should I give her lots of space for a couple weeks or so? Should I still send her messages occasionally or is it better if I just stop talking to her? I havent talked to her for one week and it is so excruciatingly painful because I think about her 24/7. I want to appear confident though and not clingy and give her space. She always talked about a future together so I never expected this. She has to come back here in 1 month to start school so i feel like even if she got with someone else in America she is gonna have to do a long distance thing with them for at least a year when she comes back here so it confuses me cause Im here now and can be with her for a whole year at least when she comes back! I guess I shouldn't worry about her finding a new guy as she is probably doing a rebound and it can only last a maximum of about a month anyways before she leaves the country unless she does a long distance thing with him. Still I can't sleep thinking about her being with another guy. I wanna know how can I get her back? My plan now is to call her cell phone in a couple weeks so that will be 3 weeks after we broke up and just to be friendly to her and not talk about our relationship. Im conflicted because I don't want to push her away at all but I feel like talking to her really helps and the longer I wait the harder it might be for her to do so. I asked her when we took a break if it was cool if I could call her just to talk as friends week later. She said "maybe", but I'm thinking I won't call her for at least 2-3 weeks just to give it more time. Theoretically we are still taking a "break" but I have been preparing myself as though we broke up. She promised me that she would see me when she got back to Japan, but I'm not even sure if it's a good idea for me to see her. Any advice or thoughts about my situation are greatly appreciated.
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