Butterfly83 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Hello, this is my first time on LS. Im hoping to get some advice on the following situation. Thanks in advance I moved to Europe and met a guy that i really liked and was in a relationship with for 3.5 months. (We are both 28 years old). I got attached very quickly. I was meant to go to a wedding with him but he didnt end up taking me and didnt answer his phone all weekend. On the sunday night he sent me a sms and said he wasnt ready for a relationship. He went on to say how much he liked me and this was hard on him blah blah. I was devastated (as i said i got attached quickly). Around the same time i had problems with my flat mate and i had lost my job. I decided to come home for a few months to save more money and recover emotionally. The same night he broke up with me I told him of my plan to leave and asked if we could see each other before i flew out. He said "no its not a good idea, it will just make it impossible". What ever that means?! Over a period of 4 days before i left his country I sent him numerous sms after the night he broke it off. I also tried to call him but he wouldnt answer. I wanted to know if we could still catch up as friends when i returned to his country (pathetic i know!). He completely ignored my attempts at contact and cut me off completely. I even messaged him on facebook to tell him i had arrived home safely but he still didnt reply. I sent him one last msg on facebook a couple of days later because I was hurt/angry and said he was a coward for ending things via sms and that he shouldnt go around hurting people. (Another silly move). He still didnt reply. That last msg was sent 2.5 weeks ago and since then i stopped contacting him and thought i would never hear from him again. Anyway, it was my birthday yesterday and he messaged me on facebook. I was shocked! He said "Hello, happy birthday... I hope you are well xo". So my question is to do i ignore it or say a simple thanks? I just keep remembering how he ignored me and how it hurt like hell! Also, does it "mean" anything or am I looking into it too much? Thanks again
Exit Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 There's no way to really know what it means. We could all sit here and guess. No point in reading into it beyond what is actually there. He wished you a happy birthday. If you're still hurt over the fact that he ignored you, didn't care if you made it home safe or not, don't respond. If it feels wrong to you to just not say thanks for a birthday wish then go ahead and say a simple thanks. Don't say ANYTHING else. You can be polite and thank him, and see if he says anything else after that. But will you be hurt if he doesn't? Will you regret saying thanks if he just doesn't say anything else? Then don't do it. If you can handle that risk and want to see if he says anything else, just say a quick thanks.
brokendreamz Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I think you know the answer - hard as it is to accept he's just giving you crumbs. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE If that's you in your profile pic then you'll have no problem finding another (decent) guy. Good luck x
marqueemoon4 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 i don't see anything wrong with a simple "thank you" and leave it at that.
DustySaltus Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 No response is the best response. You should also block him to begin the healing process for yourself. He probably realizes that the way he went about things was bad and wants you not to hate him. Don't mistake this behavior for him wanting to get back with you. It's all about his needs and making himself feel better, not yours. Take this as a lesson learned and in the future, as hard as it may be, try to let things develop over time to protect yourself.
Graceful Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I have to agree that the message has more to do with him and his potential guilt than it has to do with sincerely wishing you a happy birthday. I'm sorry to have to say that, but it is the truth. He pushed you away and ignored you, and he is using your birthday as an excuse to make himself look like a "good guy" by sending you a note -- and how much trouble did he go to so send you a note that took all of 30 seconds to send? Not much. Please don't read into it. If you feel the need, say one word - "thanks" - but only do that if you are just being polite and do not expect to hear from him. Personally, I would ignore, as I would see no need to thank him. He went to no trouble to send you that message, and it was impersonal at best. Hope you feel better soon -- and I hope you had a nice birthday, too. Take care.
Fufu Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Ignore him, he really doesn't deserve your 3 seconds of saying "Thanks" to him.
Author Butterfly83 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Posted April 13, 2011 Thanks so much for your advice everyone, its much appreciated! I love this site and will no doubt be back at some point
Fufu Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 Butterfly83: Your welcome, i adore this forum too. Feel free to post your feelings or any questions, we will be happy to give our personal experience and views
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