adviseseeker Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I thought I might get some helpful suggestions or insight here. basics: Been in a long distance relationship with a girl that I met traveling. We've seen eachother 5 times over 6 months. We have a great time together when we're actually in the same location. Otherwise it is very very difficult to maintain happiness. It is unlikely that either of us are going to move for each other due to various reasons, career being the big one. We're in love. Just recently she decided to share information about her past -- turns out she was into having group sex with random people on a frequent basis for a period of 1-2 years. This phase is reportedly over. She maintains friendships derived from her encounters and intends to continue visiting with these "friends" as they are important to her. I have an open mind, to an extent, but that is beyond my scope. I love her, but I am not able to be okay with that. She says nothing will ever happen beyond talking, and she is reportedly not into that life style any more. I have been with 5 sexual partners in my life while she has no idea how many she has been with - I didn't know until recently and I am actually really afraid for my health now. I care for her, but I feel a bit mislead and surprised that she waited so long to inform me.... I don't want to be a dick and dump her for selfish reasons... I just don't know if it should really matter or not. Thoughts?
hoping2heal Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I thought I might get some helpful suggestions or insight here. basics: Been in a long distance relationship with a girl that I met traveling. We've seen eachother 5 times over 6 months. We have a great time together when we're actually in the same location. Otherwise it is very very difficult to maintain happiness. It is unlikely that either of us are going to move for each other due to various reasons, career being the big one. We're in love. Just recently she decided to share information about her past -- turns out she was into having group sex with random people on a frequent basis for a period of 1-2 years. This phase is reportedly over. She maintains friendships derived from her encounters and intends to continue visiting with these "friends" as they are important to her. I have an open mind, to an extent, but that is beyond my scope. I love her, but I am not able to be okay with that. She says nothing will ever happen beyond talking, and she is reportedly not into that life style any more. I have been with 5 sexual partners in my life while she has no idea how many she has been with - I didn't know until recently and I am actually really afraid for my health now. I care for her, but I feel a bit mislead and surprised that she waited so long to inform me.... I don't want to be a dick and dump her for selfish reasons... I just don't know if it should really matter or not. Thoughts? It's in the past now but only you can decide if this is a deal-breaker. Sometimes in RS something is revealed that is just too much and we cannot look at the other person the same way again. Is this one of those things? I would not be comfortable with it either TBH, and I would even believe the person that they would never do anything again but for some reason the thought of my partner talking with these people he used to have consistent group sex with is just..I don't know? I can't even say it's jealousy it's just (sorry if this offends anyone) "weird" to me. That said, I don't know. This isn't really a serious realtionship, is it? I mean, you mentioned that you see one another but it is likely neither of you will ever actually move to be with the other. This is just for "fun" in that context does it matter? I don't know. I think I would be more likely to "accept" it from someone I am not considering for a serious future like marrige. I am just trying to picture DF in the same scenario and I know this would totally weird me out if it were anyone else, but him telling me- I couldn't look down on him for that - but I've had 3 years of consistency and know who he is NOW and how the past would not affect that so it's a bit different too.
Recommended Posts