Mister_Lonely Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Long story short, we were together for 2 years but split up two months ago. We loved each other a lot and did everything together, even discussed marriage. At the end of last year we moved in a flat together but the flat had a lot of problems which weren't getting fixed, this caused us to argue a lot. Things weren't great between us and I had my suspicions she was cheating on me, which she was. I ended up moving back home and we decided we would give things another go. Due to the lack of trust/arguing etc she ended our relationship and said she wanted to be single to sort her head out and concentrate on her job. I was devastated but thought it was the right move. We kept in touch, meeting up, texting but then I found out she was meeting up with the guy she cheated on me with and said they are just friends. Then 2 weeks ago I found out they are now an item. I don't know why she was leading me on and saying she missed me and still had feelings towards me if she was seeing this other guy. Basically I can't get over her despite how she has treated me, I wasn't completely innocent, sometimes I was horrible to her but it hurts that she has jumped into another relationship with this guy who is ugly, full of tattoos and piercings, no job and a kid when she knew I wanted her back. I have even had him texting me telling me they are in love and to back off however he didn't know me and my ex were still meeting up which proves she was lying to him also. Should I just try and forget and move on or hope this is a rebound relationship and wait it out in hope we may get back together? She meant everything to me but feels like she has forgotten about me and the good times.
poorguy Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Dude I'm sorry to hear about your prolonged breakup. This is a very typical breakup story though. This very thing happens all of the time. Are you new here, I did'nt read your join date??? If you keep incontact with her you will be torturing yourself-so Do not do it. Yes, move on from her for now. I will tell you ifher new guy is contacting you then he's a complete idiot who love drama. Leave her be, change your number if you have to or block theirs. Know this though, her new thing is'nt going to work out anyway. Not only will it not work out I'd beyt it goes down in flame and hard
Author Mister_Lonely Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 Yes I am new. Thanks for your advice, I do need to move on but find it difficult how she has moved on so quickly & with the person she has. I was proud of myself last week as I didn't contact her at all but she texted saying she missed talking to me & before that I had numerous missed calls, I refused to answer which annoyed her. I want a clean break but she owes me money which I stupidly borrowed her after we broke up. Don't think I will ever see that money again. She threw away a loving boyfriend, my friends and family loved her, a future for some horrible, ugly guy without a job. I can't stop thinking of the good times, I need to remember the bad to get me over her.
Beeotch Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 (edited) Live your life...move on! After 1 1/2 yrs of back and forth with my ex....I would not advise anyone to "wait" . He had 3 different rebound relationships, all of which were space fillers, all of which he would still text me or he wouldn't speak to me, then he would reach out, break up with them and try to come back. Back and forth until I realized the truth that this situation just was not meant to be. I initially thought him always coming back was a "sign"....no...it was a sign that it was just a mess that I needed to learn from and be done with. If you are meant to be....your ex will catch up to you where you are in your life and things will be reconciled. Things that are meant to be often happen along the path of least resistance and not through us forcing it. If things should work out...you allowing her to be with this man while you move on, will not be detrimental to that. What kind of equal relationship would it be for someone to cheat on you, then lie to you some more, then date someone else and then you wait for them to be done with that so you can get back together? Ummm....I'd say, you just miss this person, it's been 2 months, it's normal but it hardly is an A + scenario worth putting your life on hold for. Love never asks you to pause your life or take you away from your path. Best thing I ever learned! People believe fighting and drama and things being complicated "proves" your love..no it doesn't....it proves you trying to hold on to something not meant to be, fighting against the current of life and trying to build with inappropriate tools making things 1000 times harder. When it is real love and when it meant to be...BOTH individuals will want to work it through....life will provide the chance no matter where you go and what you do...and you will not have to be the only person bending, waiting, compromising etc. Edited April 12, 2011 by Beeotch
Author Mister_Lonely Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 Thank Beeotch, some great advice. I am getting on with my life, I go out with friends, got trips planned but still think of the plans I had with her which we won't do now but that's her loss. If she can just move on this fast plus cheating she doesn't respect me and I need to realise that. She suggested being friends which I was going a long with till I found out about her new bf but I now know it's not an option, I just hate being forgotten after everything & replaced. I have the urge to text her a final message letting her know how much she has hurt me but I am more mature than that. I know we would never work as a couple again, I am just holding onto the past & afraid I won't meet anyone again, silly I know.
Beeotch Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Thank Beeotch, some great advice. I am getting on with my life, I go out with friends, got trips planned but still think of the plans I had with her which we won't do now but that's her loss. If she can just move on this fast plus cheating she doesn't respect me and I need to realise that. She suggested being friends which I was going a long with till I found out about her new bf but I now know it's not an option, I just hate being forgotten after everything & replaced. I have the urge to text her a final message letting her know how much she has hurt me but I am more mature than that. I know we would never work as a couple again, I am just holding onto the past & afraid I won't meet anyone again, silly I know. It's not silly, EVERY single dumpee goes through this. It is irrational though, but that's how we humans are sometimes. Every new relationship seems like the best and the ultimate and we cannot fathom how we will move on and find something "so great" or better.....then eventually you do! Think about it....if you had a gf before, the same way you broke up and found the ex, is the same way, eventually you will find yourself madly inlove with someone else. Each breakup is a chance to GROW and refine yourself first, then your desires in another. Each time you should get closer to being a whole individual and gain more tools to sustain a relationship until you have your final one. I too felt scared like OMG how will I find someone better...well surprise...I did! Now looking back, I can see all the flaws and I am almost in disbelief that I used to pine after and want that relationship back, because now I have grown so far from it and the current guy I am seeing surpasses the ex. Likewise, I know that if we don't work out...just like how he popped up when I least expected and surpassed my ex...so too shall someone else come around. The MAIN reason is that you really attract someone matching where you are in your emotional/spiritual/energetic/mental life. Which is why working on YOU is so important, as that is the determinant of how your next relationship will be. If you learned nothing, didn't grow, or worst go around chasing a new relationship instead of being the best you to magnetize who you want....you'll probably attract the same type of person and same scenario and still not be satisfied.
1784 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 I can't even add on to anything that BEEOTCH said. It was all THAT good. And I'm typically a man of many words (just check my threads - lol). If you follow her advice you will be more than golden. Go forward with your life and you will be happy again. No doubt in my mind.
Author Mister_Lonely Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 Thanks for all your advice, I know what I need to do, won't be easy but I should enjoy being single. I don't want a relationship at the minute so will just focus on myself and having fun. I do actually hope my ex is happy, although part of me is slightly bitter but I am not one to hold a grudge. The relationship wasn't perfect before the cheating so when someone new comes along, I can start afresh & learn from my mistakes. I have the fond memories with my ex & I am glad I spent 2 years with her despite a lot of heart ache. I just don't want her messing with my head if her new relationship doesn't last, which I don't think it will.
El_Enamorado Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Mister Lonely. Dont even trip homie. I know its hard. But its life. We just gotta be stronger than ever and just move on. BETTER things to come. I wuz also with my ex GF for 2 years and we also broke up 2 months ago. Well, she dump me. She has her reasong, and its koo. She would also try to play with my head, but I DID cut her loose. The first month, wuz straight up torture. The 2nd month its koo. I DO miss her ALOT, but am NOT gonna be where am NOT wanted. She wanted to go where the grass is greener, and thats good for her. We have to learn from our mistakes and change for our best. Dont take this as a waste of time or a regret. Take it more like an experience. If my EX GF left me for someone else, better for me, cause thats a biggo boost to move on even faster. Worry about yourself homie. Let her worry about herslef. 1 less problem for u. Trust me homie, she WILL realize what she had. People dont realize what they had, until they lose it. My EX GF goes out and does her thing, then she looks for me and comes to my pad to just disrespect. She does that, because I dont give her my attention anymore. AM DONE. If she really LOVES ME like she said, she would of been with me. But o'well. Life goes ON . Get into a hobby. Ive ALWAYS been into MMA. I couldnt do it before because I WUZ ALWAYS there for her. Then after she gave me the boot, I started doing the things I LOVE. In the long run, your gonna THANK your EX GF for leaving U. Whoever Loves U, is gonna stick by U AT ALL TIMES. Good and Bad.
Author Mister_Lonely Posted April 13, 2011 Author Posted April 13, 2011 Thanks for the advice El. Decided to move on and forget although I am annoyed I won't get the money she owes me. I noticed how she came to me for help after we broke up, she should have gone to her new friend. I am going to focus on myself however not looking forward to getting back out there or the thought of dating. I hate dating and am usually not very good at meeting women. Hopefully when I do though I won't compare her to my ex, my ex is beautiful and we had all the same interests and I think I won't find someone that I can purely relate to and be my true self with.
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