SCooke Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 So, I broke up with my ex in October of last yr (really earlier than that but we dragged it out). She was the one that broke it off for good, but I honestly was ok with the breakup. We had a terrible relationship filled with fights, so I knew it was the right thing for both of us. She's a very VERY difficult girl, and everything always revolved around her, and she was nasty to me and her friends. She was also very unhappy and fragile about everything after our breakup... So, against my better judgement, I stayed in contact with her. Part of it was because she made me feel guilty about how she felt, so I didn't want to just leave her in the dust (even though she broke up with me!!) ..part of it was because we had mututal friends, and i wanted everything to be cool. I really wanted a "cool and friendly" break up...We would contact each other about once or twice a month, and we even hooked up once since that time...and we told each other that we'll always be there for each other blah blah blah But then she started dating someone about a month ago. Naturally, i was jealous, but i was OK with it for the most part... But right after that, I sepreated my shoulder really bad and was in a lot of pain..i told her about it, and she never contacted me after to check up on me..this made me pretty upset and i started looking back at the whole time after we broke up, and pretty much realized that she never once was there for me, or was a "friend" to me. She was just using me to feel validated or something every time she had a bad day or she needed someone. And as soon as she found another guy, boom i was no longer necessary..and then this weekend, i found out she was acutually talking sh*t about me to all our mututal friends...So i sent her an email telling her that she should keep my name out of her mouth and that i know she's just been using me this whole time. Now i feel very foolish and used...and I feel like this whole time could have been used to completley move on and take care of my business... Nice reminder that being friends with ex's is not a good idea at all, certainly not right after a breakup.
nana841121 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 I don't think people can be friend with ex-BF/GF in a short time. Except one or both of them have never been in real love when they were in a relationship
longterm Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 To really be friends, you will have to be ok with her dating and you should be trying to date as well. I think you are making up your own mind here though. If she didn't even contact you when you had your shoulder issue then she is no good. Definitely not a friend and yes, used you while she was still alone. Toss her now and move on with your life. I may/may not be friends with my X. I do know that I will be prepared for her to have someone else. I too will date etc. I don't think it matters unless they start being serious. Usually this whole friend thing is friends with bennies anyway. Both parties are getting whatever it is they want and enjoying themselves. If someone else is desired, then it has to take its course.
WillSingForFood Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Sounds like youre much better off without her, even as a friend. No one who truly cared about you would just toss you aside like that. Unless of course, her new boyfriend asked her to stop all contact with you, and she decided that was the best course to take? Sorry about your shoulder though, that sucks.
ASG Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 It's not that being friends is dangerous... It just sounds like your ex wasn't being a friend at all! Or the previous poster is right and her current bf asked her to stop contact, which I think, if she really was a friend, would warrant at least an email explaining the situation.
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