JasonRules Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Today I feel a little strange I do not feel sad or miserable just an emptiness Her memory still inside of me fading and becoming distant A void and hollowness I cannot describe Days pass one by one and all I'm doing is praying for time
Nick71 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Is that acceptance Jason? I really hope so because that could mean I am close? I no longer compare every activity to how much better it would be if she was around. Nor do I dwell on her when she still enters my thoughts often, rather just move my thoughts to something else quickly. But yes there is an emptiness, sometimes easily filled and sometimes uncontrollable. Praying with you...
geegirl Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 I listen to that song everyday in my car on my way home to and from work. I know the feeling. Sometimes I feel almost feel like an empty shell. A person just existing in mechanical form. Maybe it is a step to acceptance. Hopefully. While I hate counting the days, as it reminds me why I do it but it also reminds me that I am proud to have made it this far. Sending you good vibes on your journey. You're doing great!
nana841121 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Looks like we are at the same stage. Last Sunday ex called, he gave me mixed message. At first,i felt whatever, out of the mess, blase Now i feel empty again I guess we still need some more time You are not alone.
nana841121 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Getting rid of the ex emotionally feels like quitting drug or some other addiction
poorguy Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Have you guys heard that song by Cee Lo Green called- F_UCK YOU? Its doesn't pertain to my breakup per se but I just love it anyway
nana841121 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 I heard a lot of anger-venting songs during NC Lily Allen's and Band of GARBAGE
tyler123 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Jason, Nick and Gee- you all rock and i get that as well. I truly find it a gift that i can feel the pain and not make it worse by contacting her. i think about contacting her but to know to do that is insane thinking gives me a chuckle. I woke up this morning with that emptiness but the gift of being to get out of bed, sit outside and meditate, breath and feel a presense of love not from another person but inside me is warming. to be at work and do productive things and not dwell as much or obsessive as much as i know i would if i was home alone stuck in my head... This is a gift and the road to acceptance and forgivness...
geegirl Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Jason, Nick and Gee- you all rock and i get that as well. I truly find it a gift that i can feel the pain and not make it worse by contacting her. i think about contacting her but to know to do that is insane thinking gives me a chuckle. I woke up this morning with that emptiness but the gift of being to get out of bed, sit outside and meditate, breath and feel a presense of love not from another person but inside me is warming. to be at work and do productive things and not dwell as much or obsessive as much as i know i would if i was home alone stuck in my head... This is a gift and the road to acceptance and forgivness... I believe half the battle is already won when you feel the intensity of that pain and you're able to be still and not react. The worse has passed. It's only a matter of time now before we begin to feel whole again. My best gf passed away last year at 34. She was stricken with cancer. She used to always tell me, "Gee, live. Live life please." And at 40, I couldn't grasp what she was saying because I was caught in a fog. Now as that fog is lifting, like you tyler, I am accepting all the gifts that she so wanted me to appreciate when she saw me in pain. Life is short. The faster we cast aside the bad, and accept and forgive, the sooner we make for happier days.
tyler123 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 sorry for your loss gee. the one thing i need to remind myself constantly when i start to miss the comfort of the relationship not neccessarily her is that relationships are complicated but when i feel constant dislike to the way i have allowed myself to be treated when i am with her, why would i want to have hope she calls, texts misses me, etc. i realize this is just my ego. the ego tells me things that are not true even though they feel like the truth. catch the ego and ask for loving guidance. IT COMES IN and relief is there.. one day at a time
geegirl Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 sorry for your loss gee. the one thing i need to remind myself constantly when i start to miss the comfort of the relationship not neccessarily her is that relationships are complicated but when i feel constant dislike to the way i have allowed myself to be treated when i am with her, why would i want to have hope she calls, texts misses me, etc. i realize this is just my ego. the ego tells me things that are not true even though they feel like the truth. catch the ego and ask for loving guidance. IT COMES IN and relief is there.. one day at a time Yes, that's true. Especially in relationships where there was ill treatment, when you begin to think rationally instead of emotionally, you start to feel remorse for yourself and you wonder how, why, etc. for allowing yourself to be treated in such a way. And in most unhealthy relationships, the intensity of that rollercoaster ride from hell is mistaken for intense and passionate love when in fact it's not. My ego had to prove a point. A point that I was worthy no matter how bad it was. Lesson learned.
Author JasonRules Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 Cowboys and Angels - Listen without Prejudice George Michael When your heart's in someone else's hands Monkey see and monkey do Their wish is your command You're not to blame Everyone's the same All you do is love and love is all you do I should know by now, the way I fought for you You're not to blame Everyone's the same I know you think that you're safe Mister Harmless deception That keeps love at bay It's the ones who resist that we most want to kiss Wouldn't you say? Cowboys and angels They all have the time for you Why should I imagine That I'd be a find for you Why should I imagine That I'd have something to say But that scar on your face That beautiful face of yours In your heart there's a trace Of someone before When your heart's in someone else's plans Things you say and things you do They don't understand It's such a shame Always ends the same You can call it love but I don't think it's true You should know by now I'm not the boy for you You're not to blame Always ends the same I know you think that you're safe Sister Harmless affection That keeps things this way It's the ones who persist for the sake of a kiss Who will pay Cowboys and angels They all take a shine to you Why should I imagine that I was designed for you Why should I believe That you would stay But that scar on your face That beautiful face of yours Don't you think that I know They've hurt you before Take this man to your bed Maybe his hands will help you to forget Please be stronger than your past The future may still give you a chance
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