mshummy88 Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 (edited) Hey, so I had this conversation with my ex girlfriend of 4 years a couple of nights ago who is trying to figure out if she wants to be with me or the guy that recently broke up with her. We talked about what would be different and what went wrong in our relationship and stuff like that. She also shared that she would like also to work things out with the other guy but hes leaving in May for basic training and also because hes very insecure and gets super jealous. She told me that she loved me, can never let me go and also that she wants to get back with me but is scared to because she doesnt want of of this to happen again so right now shes seeing how we are as friends and see if we ve improved and she can decide from there. At the end of the night she asked me to fix something on her phone and i accidentally clicked her messaging app and i saw a text of her saying "i love you and want to work things out with you but right now its difficult" to the recent guy and with him saying i love you back. I asked her about it and she didnt really say anything other then something like im lying to him how i feel (at least i think so..i was dazed out from seeing that) Well my real question is if shes confused like this and wants to see how things work out with me is this for real or am i being played? She called me yesterday morning and thats all i heard from her till today about 24 hours later saying "Hey whats up?". Im stillguessing shaken up aboutwith reading those texts she send the other guy and cant stop thinking about it. Today being the 12th..its our anniv day which is the other thing..do i respond to this or just NC? I do want to be with her, and would so anything to get her back bu this all confuses me and i dont know what to do. Like i said today is our anniversary day. When she dated him i wouldnt hear from her for a day or two and then i would hear from her on the 12th. Sorry i just need some advice Edited April 12, 2011 by mshummy88
betterdeal Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 She's in a muddle and reaching out for help. You're also in a muddle and asking for help. Unlike her, you're asking here, instead of bouncing between two lovers. My advice is to make yourself more stable and secure before dating anyone, including this woman. If you tell her anything, tell her what you feel, what makes you feel like that, and what you want to happen: I'm feeling insecure because of our recent contact. I want you to leave me alone.
Author mshummy88 Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 I understand what you're saying and so far i havent made any giant leaps with anything such as finding someone new or even pushing things with the ex. Ive figured if anything big were to happen it wouldnt be me doing it and making the actions, it would be her. As is the other guy keeps asking to hang out all the time, hes so far asked her back about every week since theyve been broken up (3 weeks ago) and she just tells him she cant do it right now. I figure let him be the one who keeps on her and bugging her on these things only in hopes to push her away. I appreciate the response. Its been pretty hard after sunday to think that they share those three words to each other 2-3 months of knowing each other. Me and her have been broken up for a year and last summer i dated a girl for 3 months and she texted me one morning that she loved me and i couldnt say it back because i knew i still loved my ex and i didnt feel that way with the new girl. My heads spinning from this, I guess I'm just trying to solve this puzzle but it all the pieces dont fit with each other.
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