9Lives Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Well know it sounds stupid but this is the only place I can go for support and a chance to be totally honest with someone who cares. Last year was a very bad year and he was into someone else while our relationship was crumbling. I tried all i could and finally truly gave up on August and then for sure October 2010. We didnt talk at all until my birthday rolled around and he emailed me for my birthday in Jan. That lead to him call and texting me often in Feb....one night of sex....then i felt compelled to ask, what was this about since he was contacting me often and all he said was he missed talking and seeing me but he wanted to be friends. Of course I was crushed....I told him no and I had not heard from him since. I found out in March that his girlfriend was having a birthday party and he invited my friends who were her friend before they were my friends. They were not interested in going and told me she wasnt all that and that I wasnt missing out on nothing. I got the feeling they really dont care for her. On her birthday party day, they hung out with me the entire day and we had a great time. Well me being nosy, goes on FB to see if she would post pictures of them together on her profile picture for her birthday she didnt. She put picture of everyone but them together on her profile. Then today she put a picture of him, her and a another chic together as the profile. Of course, my heart started racing. I was wondering why it took so long for her to put the picture up today when the party was 3 weeks ago. Plus there was a picture of just him and her on another website and she didnt put that one. Anyway, I guess I got what I deserved. I guess I wanted to see how serious it is. He has been messing with her since 2009. He has not been totally faithful to her but he did tell me he is with her and was still dealing with me even tho we were having problems and pretty much broken up. I dont know why I keep doing this to myself. I guess I dont want to believe the relationship is real or good but I guess it is. I really dont need to see anymore but I have to admit, I feel bad now. I wish someone could encourage me right now. on top of that, she isnt that cute. She has a pretty face but body is very plain. I dont get it.
WTRanger Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 You are still actively concerned about his life, aaaaaaaaannnnddddd checking the dreaded Facebook, so it's no wonder why you are stuck in neutral. You haven't really done any real coping. You've just been dealing, but not accepting. Delete and block him and his new girl from your Facebook as step 1. Step 2, stop comparing yourself to his new girl. It does you no good and leads you no where. Step 3, well I guess it should be step 0, but accept that it is over between you two. Over, meaning, you aren't going to get that second chance.
Author 9Lives Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 You are still actively concerned about his life, aaaaaaaaannnnddddd checking the dreaded Facebook, so it's no wonder why you are stuck in neutral. You haven't really done any real coping. You've just been dealing, but not accepting. Delete and block him and his new girl from your Facebook as step 1. Step 2, stop comparing yourself to his new girl. It does you no good and leads you no where. Step 3, well I guess it should be step 0, but accept that it is over between you two. Over, meaning, you aren't going to get that second chance. I feel sick. How do I do that WTRanger? How? I know it is not good. HOW do I stop the feelings and thoughts? Tell me?
Author 9Lives Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 You dont have to answer. God has a way of being right on time. Once again...he was. I know what to do now. God sent me a woman who is a example of what you do in these type of situations. I dont mean to sound all religious but I believe in Thanking the one who really helps you and that was HIM. I have to give it to him. Like it or not. Im gonna be real good now. Thanks, 9Lives!!!
Author 9Lives Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 You are still actively concerned about his life, aaaaaaaaannnnddddd checking the dreaded Facebook, so it's no wonder why you are stuck in neutral. You haven't really done any real coping. You've just been dealing, but not accepting. Delete and block him and his new girl from your Facebook as step 1. Step 2, stop comparing yourself to his new girl. It does you no good and leads you no where. Step 3, well I guess it should be step 0, but accept that it is over between you two. Over, meaning, you aren't going to get that second chance. Thank you WTRanger for clearing up what I was doing. I didnt really see it like this and you was right. Muah!!!
WTRanger Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Stop looking at his Facebook and anyone associated with him for starters. You can't forget about someone if you are still a part of their life, even if it's in the shadows of their life. Focus on you and you alone. When you finally admit that you have ABSOLUTE control over your emotions, your Facebook, everything becomes much easier. Right now you are simply trying to swim up river. Stop fighting the current and just let it take you away from him.
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