PinkChic Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]This forum has truly been a blessing… just to even read and know that there are other people going through the same thing eases my heart. [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I am 25 years old, at 21 I was engaged to a guy that I had been with for 5 years, bought a home with, had a dog with and was suppose to be marrying the following summer, he abruptly one day out of the clear blue walked out on me… this was almost 4 years ago and ever since this break up my heart has held a very tough wall up against men. I have dated, even had a serious relationship, unfortunately when it ended it didn’t even phase me in the slightest. [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]About 5 months ago I met this man (26) who changed everything I ever believed about love. He made me realize that love actually existed. From the first time we met we were inseparable. We had the best times, truly enjoyed being with him and around him and we couldn’t ever keep our hands off of each other. I felt like I was in high school all over again. We literally had that giddy/get your stomach in knots when you kiss kind of relationship. I still don’t believe I ever knew what love was until I met him. [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Before meeting B, I was a very very very independent woman. I run my own business and the year before I met him I spent 278 days out of the year out of town. I truthfully believe I put so much into my business in hopes it would be a great excuse to not start a relationship out of fear of getting hurt. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]When I met B my whole world changed, I fell so head over heels in love and did everything I always said I would NEVER do. We said “I love you” after a mere month, I began running a lot of my business from in town, and I fell hard, REALLY hard, which I swore I would never do. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]B, at 26 never had a serious relationship and comes from a family of 5 children who were never allowed to talk about feelings. Therefore, he struggles with communication, and me on the other hand is an only child and my house was always full of emotions, I am a VERY emotional individual, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Initially, this was not a problem at all, I saw him coming out of his shell in ways I would never imagine, he always said how I brought out feelings in him he never knew he had. It always warmed my heart when his friends and family would tell me they had never seen him so happy in his life. [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]We truthfully never had any issues. Ever. And I know you all might not believe me, but we were truthfully the couple you look at and wish you had. We never yelled, or argued and always had respect for one another. Always. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I recently got really sick and I felt like he wasn’t there for me at all. I looked back on the past 5 months and realized whenever I ever really needed him he was never there for me at all. I decided to talk to him about it. Please note that I had zero intentions of breaking up with him, at all. I just simply wanted to discuss it and talk about it and move on.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Well, I brought the conversation up and actually he already admitted to being an a$$ that day and basically flat out said he has been thinking about us and that we shouldn’t be together because he is all new to these feelings and they are really scaring him. I was devastated to say the least. So, I spent 3 hours BEGGING him to work our relationship out… finally after three hours of this he said “Okay, I just needed to see how far you would go for us” This is everything but me to beg a man to be with me. I was also upset that the person I love most could sit there and watch me cry for three hours, if it was the other way around I could never stand seeing him in so much pain. I drove home that night feeling so incredibly low. I could not believe I disrespected myself so much as to BEG a man to be with me.[/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Needless to say, the week after that blow up was THE BEST of our relationship, we were the same great couple we had always been and we were extra “lovey”. This past Friday, I think the thought of me begging a man really caught up with me, I told him right out that I don’t do that and I would NEVER do it again. He said to me “Well then it looks like we are over” and swearing to myself I would never beg a man to be with me, I looked him in the eyes and said “putting all the games aside is there anything we can do to fix our obvious communication issues?” he starred at me in my eyes for a good thirty seconds and said “No, we are over for good”, I kissed him on the cheek, got out of the car and have not spoken to him since. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Any thoughts?... Me, personally I honestly feel he got scared of his feelings. His sister told me that he has never had these feelings and it’s all new stomping ground for him… We had so many plans for the future and fell so hard for each other… Having gone through quite a few frogs in my short 25 years… I know I will never have the sparks or the connection I have with this man but I REFUSE to give my all to someone who is only going to give me half of himself. [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Thanks for taking the time to read![/sIZE][/FONT]
Ginger Beer Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Firstly, I agree with you that this forum is amazing. It really is interesting to read things on here and learn about stuff other people go through. I feel like you in some ways, that I never knew or felt ''love'' until my ex/current girl (confusing I know) came along. We are talking at the moment but I definitely acknowledge a lot of what you're saying. How long ago did you split up out of interest? I don't really have much to contribute other than you sound like a decent person and I hope you love again.
WorldIsYours Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]This forum has truly been a blessing… just to even read and know that there are other people going through the same thing eases my heart. [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I am 25 years old, at 21 I was engaged to a guy that I had been with for 5 years, bought a home with, had a dog with and was suppose to be marrying the following summer, he abruptly one day out of the clear blue walked out on me… this was almost 4 years ago and ever since this break up my heart has held a very tough wall up against men. I have dated, even had a serious relationship, unfortunately when it ended it didn’t even phase me in the slightest. [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]About 5 months ago I met this man (26) who changed everything I ever believed about love. He made me realize that love actually existed. From the first time we met we were inseparable. We had the best times, truly enjoyed being with him and around him and we couldn’t ever keep our hands off of each other. I felt like I was in high school all over again. We literally had that giddy/get your stomach in knots when you kiss kind of relationship. I still don’t believe I ever knew what love was until I met him. [/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Before meeting B, I was a very very very independent woman. I run my own business and the year before I met him I spent 278 days out of the year out of town. I truthfully believe I put so much into my business in hopes it would be a great excuse to not start a relationship out of fear of getting hurt. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]When I met B my whole world changed, I fell so head over heels in love and did everything I always said I would NEVER do. We said “I love you” after a mere month, I began running a lot of my business from in town, and I fell hard, REALLY hard, which I swore I would never do. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]B, at 26 never had a serious relationship and comes from a family of 5 children who were never allowed to talk about feelings. Therefore, he struggles with communication, and me on the other hand is an only child and my house was always full of emotions, I am a VERY emotional individual, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Initially, this was not a problem at all, I saw him coming out of his shell in ways I would never imagine, he always said how I brought out feelings in him he never knew he had. It always warmed my heart when his friends and family would tell me they had never seen him so happy in his life. [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]We truthfully never had any issues. Ever. And I know you all might not believe me, but we were truthfully the couple you look at and wish you had. We never yelled, or argued and always had respect for one another. Always. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]I recently got really sick and I felt like he wasn’t there for me at all. I looked back on the past 5 months and realized whenever I ever really needed him he was never there for me at all. I decided to talk to him about it. Please note that I had zero intentions of breaking up with him, at all. I just simply wanted to discuss it and talk about it and move on.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Well, I brought the conversation up and actually he already admitted to being an a$$ that day and basically flat out said he has been thinking about us and that we shouldn’t be together because he is all new to these feelings and they are really scaring him. I was devastated to say the least. So, I spent 3 hours BEGGING him to work our relationship out… finally after three hours of this he said “Okay, I just needed to see how far you would go for us” This is everything but me to beg a man to be with me. I was also upset that the person I love most could sit there and watch me cry for three hours, if it was the other way around I could never stand seeing him in so much pain. I drove home that night feeling so incredibly low. I could not believe I disrespected myself so much as to BEG a man to be with me.[/sIZE][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Needless to say, the week after that blow up was THE BEST of our relationship, we were the same great couple we had always been and we were extra “lovey”. This past Friday, I think the thought of me begging a man really caught up with me, I told him right out that I don’t do that and I would NEVER do it again. He said to me “Well then it looks like we are over” and swearing to myself I would never beg a man to be with me, I looked him in the eyes and said “putting all the games aside is there anything we can do to fix our obvious communication issues?” he starred at me in my eyes for a good thirty seconds and said “No, we are over for good”, I kissed him on the cheek, got out of the car and have not spoken to him since. [/FONT][/sIZE] [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]Any thoughts?... Me, personally I honestly feel he got scared of his feelings. His sister told me that he has never had these feelings and it’s all new stomping ground for him… We had so many plans for the future and fell so hard for each other… Having gone through quite a few frogs in my short 25 years… I know I will never have the sparks or the connection I have with this man but I REFUSE to give my all to someone who is only going to give me half of himself. [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Thanks for taking the time to read![/sIZE][/FONT] I'm so confused. What was the real problem again? Although I could read your story, try breaking up your posts in paragraphs and get those other annoying things out of there.
Author PinkChic Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 I apologize. I didn't realize it would do that if I copied and Pasted from word. Here is a much easier to read version: This forum has truly been a blessing… just to even read and know that there are other people going through the same thing eases my heart. I am 25 years old, at 21 I was engaged to a guy that I had been with for 5 years, bought a home with, had a dog with and was suppose to be marrying the following summer, he abruptly one day out of the clear blue walked out on me… this was almost 4 years ago and ever since this break up my heart has held a very tough wall up against men. I have dated, even had a serious relationship, unfortunately when it ended it didn’t even phase me in the slightest. About 5 months ago I met this man (26) who changed everything I ever believed about love. He made me realize that love actually existed. From the first time we met we were inseparable. We had the best times, truly enjoyed being with him and around him and we couldn’t ever keep our hands off of each other. I felt like I was in high school all over again. We literally had that giddy/get your stomach in knots when you kiss kind of relationship. I still don’t believe I ever knew what love was until I met him. Before meeting B, I was a very very very independent woman. I run my own business and the year before I met him I spent 278 days out of the year out of town. I truthfully believe I put so much into my business in hopes it would be a great excuse to not start a relationship out of fear of getting hurt. When I met B my whole world changed, I fell so head over heels in love and did everything I always said I would NEVER do. We said “I love you” after a mere month, I began running a lot of my business from in town, and I fell hard, REALLY hard, which I swore I would never do. B, at 26 never had a serious relationship and comes from a family of 5 children who were never allowed to talk about feelings. Therefore, he struggles with communication, and me on the other hand is an only child and my house was always full of emotions, I am a VERY emotional individual, I wear my emotions on my sleeve. Initially, this was not a problem at all, I saw him coming out of his shell in ways I would never imagine, he always said how I brought out feelings in him he never knew he had. It always warmed my heart when his friends and family would tell me they had never seen him so happy in his life. We truthfully never had any issues. Ever. And I know you all might not believe me, but we were truthfully the couple you look at and wish you had. We never yelled, or argued and always had respect for one another. Always. I recently got really sick and I felt like he wasn’t there for me at all. I looked back on the past 5 months and realized whenever I ever really needed him he was never there for me at all. I decided to talk to him about it. Please note that I had zero intentions of breaking up with him, at all. I just simply wanted to discuss it and talk about it and move on. Well, I brought the conversation up and actually he already admitted to being an a$$ that day and basically flat out said he has been thinking about us and that we shouldn’t be together because he is all new to these feelings and they are really scaring him. I was devastated to say the least. So, I spent 3 hours BEGGING him to work our relationship out… finally after three hours of this he said “Okay, I just needed to see how far you would go for us” This is everything but me to beg a man to be with me. I was also upset that the person I love most could sit there and watch me cry for three hours, if it was the other way around I could never stand seeing him in so much pain. I drove home that night feeling so incredibly low. I could not believe I disrespected myself so much as to BEG a man to be with me. Needless to say, the week after that blow up was THE BEST of our relationship, we were the same great couple we had always been and we were extra “lovey”. This past Friday, I think the thought of me begging a man really caught up with me, I told him right out that I don’t do that and I would NEVER do it again. He said to me “Well then it looks like we are over” and swearing to myself I would never beg a man to be with me, I looked him in the eyes and said “putting all the games aside is there anything we can do to fix our obvious communication issues?” he starred at me in my eyes for a good thirty seconds and said “No, we are over for good”, I kissed him on the cheek, got out of the car and have not spoken to him since. Any thoughts?... Me, personally I honestly feel he got scared of his feelings. His sister told me that he has never had these feelings and it’s all new stomping ground for him… We had so many plans for the future and fell so hard for each other… Having gone through quite a few frogs in my short 25 years… I know I will never have the sparks or the connection I have with this man but I REFUSE to give my all to someone who is only going to give me half of himself. Thanks for taking the time to read!
Author PinkChic Posted April 12, 2011 Author Posted April 12, 2011 Firstly, I agree with you that this forum is amazing. It really is interesting to read things on here and learn about stuff other people go through. I feel like you in some ways, that I never knew or felt ''love'' until my ex/current girl (confusing I know) came along. We are talking at the moment but I definitely acknowledge a lot of what you're saying. How long ago did you split up out of interest? I don't really have much to contribute other than you sound like a decent person and I hope you love again. Thank you. We have only been split up for a week... with zero communication... I feel like we are both being stubborn...
zakfar Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 PinkChic, I would say that if you have already split, better to get hold of your feelings. There are very low chances that this relationship can work. Even if it works, it will bring lots of troubles for both of you, and will not be able to bring true happiness in your relationship. By the way, you should not feel bad for 'Begging' that day. You shouldn't feel low. You had good feelings for him, and you tried to save your relationship. Currently you feel bad because you have a different mentality than this, and you didn't expect something like that from yourself. However, if you hadn't done that, and had just accepted the break-up that day, you might have regretted that you did not try to save your relationship. You would have felt lot worse. All that happened was for good. At least you tried to work out the things, and tried to save your relationship. Ok! This is also true that he is 'Afraid' of a serious - long-term relationship. Even if that's the case, with the scenario I can see, both of you are dominant minds. He wants to hold the power in his hands, and you don't want to leave it. So, even if you guys work out things for now, within a few years, you will have lots of problems. If you really want my recommendation, I will say that try to find someone of your type. The one whom you don't need to submit yourself this way. With this guy, you are going to bring yourself lot of troubles, and him as well. In fact, he will face more troubles than you, as he wants to have the powers in his hands, but you seem to be financially stronger than him. Maybe he has realized all this, and that's why he has made this 'Hard Decision' for leaving you, even though he feels good for being with you. You seem to be smart woman. That's why I'm saying all this. But if for some reason, you wanna get to him, and would like to take a risk on working out this relationship, tell me. I would be glad to help you out. Though my recommendation is still there. Two pure dominant minds can't build a good relationship. This is a way towards disaster. I hope it helps. Zakfar.
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