heartbrokengrl Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I've been in about 3 long-term relationships, (I'm 25 now) and all my boyfriends used to tell me they loved me early on within a month. That's of course because we were probably young and smitten with each other. Anyway, I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months now and 6 months ago broke up with his ex-fiance (together for 8 years, she left him for a woman) He told me months ago he was hurting from his past and she was his first love, best-friend, etc..they don't speak anymore. The last month he doesn't seem to be in pain anymore, he's been devoted to me, is very sweet. However, I'm worried that because of his past, he's worried about falling in love with me. He sends me love songs all the time, but has never told me hes loved me, neither do I. I have heard Aquarius men are the hardest to date and usually never forget their first love, or so they say haha He's not the type to be very verbal about his emotions, he shows his kindness in other ways, doesn't talk about his feelings, so I'm wondering does he love me, but doesn't say it? Or is falling in love but being cautious? It started off very strong in our relationship and it was going fast, now were taking it easy and just having fun with each other not trying to be too serious. We never fight, we get along great, but he's one of those Aquarius guys (i dunno why I've been reading a lot about aquarius men online lol but they can be very detached sometimes). All in all, I'm used to being in relationships where we spend all our time together, but this one loves his freedom, so sometimes I can be a bit insecure (I never verbalize this) if I feel like he's preoccupied with other things. Actually, I sometimes think about if his ex-fiance came back to him what he would do (even tho he's said he'd never get back together with her). I do trust him, and he trusts me. I guess it's not just one topic that I'm bringing up here. I guess what I want to know is, and perhaps nobody will know the answer to this, but can he love me? or does love me? He's said to me he doesn't want to be with anybody else. Some days he's very excited to see me, sometimes it seems like he's thinking about other things, but that's just his personality, but most of the time he's sweet to me, very affectionate and supportive. I just hope his past relationship isn't holding him back from ours. Since it's only been over 3 months, it's not that unsual for a man to not say they love you right?
Lil1 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I would just take things slowly with him and not read too much into why he hasnt said 'I love you' yet. I would actually be very careful that you don't rush into things with him. He is still hurting from his last relationship, even if he appears to be over it (6 months is not very long to get over an 8 year relationship!). You may end up being a rebound for him so please don't lose your head over him yet (I know... much easier said than done!). The best thing for you to do is to keep communication with him open and honest. Do you love him? Do you see yourself with him for a long time to come? If so, let him know how you really feel, then give him time. If he feels the same for you he will come around and show you that you are his one and only love.
EyesWideOpen Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I would go so far as to say it's not unusual even for the woman not to say I love you after just three months. Three months is not long at all! If someone said they loved me after only three months...I'd be freaked out. But I am definitely one of those cautious types who won't say it until I know I mean it. Give him time. And ask yourself why it's so important to hear it. Is it because you truly deeply love him? Or is it because you just want somebody/anybody to love you?
HappyPanda Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 I agree with the other posters... I dont feel that 3 months sans I love you's is cause for concern. Some people just take longer to utter the words... They may FEEL them, and from your post (namely, the love songs) it sounds like he does. It seems as if he's trying to express his feelings through the words of others I personally carry great weight in those words... My boyfriend and I have been together for a year. He dropped the bomb in month 8... I returned the sentiment in month 10. Although just last week he told me he knew he loved me in month 4 Just goes to show. Just because he hasnt said it. Doesnt mean he doesnt feel it. Just enjoy the ride and dont worry about the technicalities.
Author heartbrokengrl Posted April 13, 2011 Author Posted April 13, 2011 You guys are right, there's no rush for him to tell me. I guess I worry since he came out of a 8 year relationship, that he may never fully get over her, or what if she were to try and come back? If he didn't have such a love-at-first-site/best friend/first love thing with her, I wouldn't feel so worried. I guess I was always that first gf so I've never been with somebody who has had such a long past with someone else before me. I should have more confidence since he does devote himself to only me. He's said to me I'm not a rebound when we first got together because I was a bit skeptical but now that I have developed lots of feelings for him, I'm just hoping I'll get a chance for him to love me too.
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