JacJackie Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 I have known this guy for a year and we have been FWBs for about 6 months. Without going into the whole boring story, our relationship is limited to being casual and I accept that. However, I can't stop thinking about him and get so excited when we see each other (about every second day) that I think my heart will burst. I just admire everything about him and feel immensely attracted to him (even on his not-so-pretty days). I don't know if this is love or lust. It was lust before but it's not just his sexual prowess that gives me tingles anymore. Is it love? Maybe I am jumping the gun here. How have you guys realised that your feelings are love, for real?
dyermaker Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 Love, I think, isn't an actual state that you reach, it's not like nirvana in that one day lust lust lust and then all of the sudden you have love. Love is used to describe a quality of companionship, and each person qualifies that differently. For some, finding someone who is sexually compatible could be love. For others, it's a feeling of vulnerability that comes with being emotionally attached or even emotionally dependent on someone else. For me, it's been an infallible certainty that I've found someone else with whom I'll always be in Love with, someone I'll always find beautiful, someone I'll always desire a connection with, and, perhaps the most important qualifier, someone who Loves me as well.
Uno Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 it's hard 2 define love!! very hard ir doesnt even have a definition so i dont think anybody can be sure if he/she is 100% in love
Fedup&givingup Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 I'll be honest...this whole terminology "Friends with benefits" thing is really new to me. I've never heard it until this forum. I don't believe in it, either. I will just stick to what I've always known it to be called...getting what you want from someone else that wants more than you do...in other words, using someone. It just seems like one person is willing to give it up for the other one because that is better than nothing. Why compromise yourself? Maybe for some, it works out fine, but it just seems likely that one person wants more and one person is going to end up squashed in the end.
dyermaker Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 Originally posted by Fedup&givingup I will just stick to what I've always known it to be called...getting what you want from someone else that wants more than you do...in other words, using someone. It just seems like one person is willing to give it up for the other one because that is better than nothing. Why compromise yourself? Just to clarify semantics Fu&gu, "friends with benefits" usually refers to a mutual arrangement between two friendly people to engage in sexual activities without the investment or commitment of an emotional relationship.
Arabess Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 It may be feelings of love for YOU...but to HIM....it may still fall under the original agreement of f*ckbuddies. You need to talk to HIM first.....before falling in much deeper.
Renny_H Posted April 6, 2004 Posted April 6, 2004 I have no idea how to separate love from lust. I think it comes after sex: If you still wanna be in that bed and hug, it’s love. That’s just an example of my beliefs anyhow.
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