Dims85 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I'm missing my ex so bad today. I just want to call her and talk To her and hear her voice, it's been over 2 weeks since the breakup and almost 4 days NC. This just doesn't seem to be getting any easier...
Fufu Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 NC gets better and better, stick to it. Unless you want to go back to day 1 of NC again.
geegirl Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I'm missing my ex so bad today. I just want to call her and talk To her and hear her voice, it's been over 2 weeks since the breakup and almost 4 days NC. This just doesn't seem to be getting any easier... It gets worse before it gets better. No way around it. Just stay the course. It's like detoxing yourself from a drug addiction. This is your withdrawal stage. Just let the feelings come and let them pass. Don't react and give in just for that short term comfort. This pain is temporary. Imagine, you pick up the phone. You hear her voice. You get that temporary relief. Then you hang up. Then what? You're back where you were, again. You've only been 4 days NC. It's still raw. Breaking contact will open up wounds again and then you'll be back to square one. Don't let your hard work and determination these past few days be for nothing. Keep going. When going through hell, keep walking.
lma Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Be strong and stick to it. Trust me she will be missing you as much you miss her and it will give her some time to clear her head and actually miss you. It works. Its very hard but stick to it... good luck buddy...
JasonRules Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I was in your shoes weeks ago, but today I reached the 1 month NC mark and I feel much better. The memory of her becomes dimmer and dimmer with each passing day. Eventually, the pain will stop and you will only have blank memories. Hang in there though and do not contact her. This period is crucial and you cannot fail or give up. I recommend going to the gym on a daily basis to release the tension and the stress. This is what I did (and I still do) and its been very helpful.
Author Dims85 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 Thanks everybody, it's hard since I can't get my mind off her. We were together for 6 1/2 years and now it's nothing. I know geegirl I just need to keep walking but sometimes my feet don't want to work or just want to turn back and call. I know what u mean by hearing her voice for instant gratification then going into despair after not hearing her, it's not worth it. Just need to keep telling myself to keep going
longterm Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I liked reading this thread since I was sad and missing my X this morning too. There's great advice here. Do something else to take your mind off it.
geegirl Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Thanks everybody, it's hard since I can't get my mind off her. We were together for 6 1/2 years and now it's nothing. I know geegirl I just need to keep walking but sometimes my feet don't want to work or just want to turn back and call. I know what u mean by hearing her voice for instant gratification then going into despair after not hearing her, it's not worth it. Just need to keep telling myself to keep going I understand where you are Dim. The obsessing is sometimes so frightening because you feel as if your brain will never let go and it will always keep you dwelling. It will take time but you must also help yourself. You must learn how to "thought stop". I used to obsess every waking moment. Your brain at this point is programmed to "obsess" about her. So it does exactly that. Now, you have to retrain your brain to do the opposite. Everytime you have a thought about her, you quickly snap yourself out of it and replace that thought with something else. Don't feed your brain with negative thoughts. I know when I used to have one thought of him, 50 other thoughts of him would be trailing behind. And before you know it, I'm drowning. You have to stop that by consciously telling yourself to STOP, and start thinking of something else, anything but her. Make a list of projects, activities you are interested in. Plan them out. Think about your work. Journal your feelings and as you go day by day you will be able to gauge if you are making progress and that in itself will push your forward. Join some hobby clubs and you'll make friends and this will help you focus on something else and keep your min occupied. If you feed your brain with her, you allow it to keep processing on the same thoughts over and over again and this will keep you obsessing. As they say, your brain is like a television set. It's been on the same channel for awhile now. You have to change that channel.
timchambo Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 over 3 months NC after over 7 years with my ex. Trust me it gets easier. There will be down days too even once you start feeling better. Just stay busy, the gym works best for most people. Tires you out physically so it helps you sleep, but also does some crazy stuff to your brain and makes you happier =) Not gonna pretend to know the science behind it. Do yourself a favor now and have all mutual friends keep communication to themselves. Don't let them update you on facebook and such, just tell them now. I know you'll be curious, but it will only provide setbacks. If she wants to reconcile, she will let you know herself.
Author Dims85 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 I was in your shoes weeks ago, but today I reached the 1 month NC mark and I feel much better. The memory of her becomes dimmer and dimmer with each passing day. Eventually, the pain will stop and you will only have blank memories. Hang in there though and do not contact her. This period is crucial and you cannot fail or give up. I recommend going to the gym on a daily basis to release the tension and the stress. This is what I did (and I still do) and its been very helpful. Thanks, I have been following your posts and they have some great info. I have been going to the gym everyday...lost 14 lbs so far happy about that.(She's gained 20) I guess its just a matter of trying not to think about it or when I do telling myself to think about something else. I'm Still trying to come to terms with the loss of her in my life...and that hope is still there that she will come back. I know I need to get rid of these thoughts of her coming back since it will only delay my healing but its much easier said than done. Thanks all for the kind words and providing the hope that this will get better
sandman223 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I feel the same way. I have been in NC for about 2 months now with a short break of it (although we didn't see each other and it was purely business related, so I'm not 100% counting it). I was doing great but recently I got into a bit of a rut. Going to the gym is essential, and running is a great stress releaser too. Just keep going, there is nothing else you can do.
geegirl Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Thanks, I have been following your posts and they have some great info. I have been going to the gym everyday...lost 14 lbs so far happy about that.(She's gained 20) I guess its just a matter of trying not to think about it or when I do telling myself to think about something else. I'm Still trying to come to terms with the loss of her in my life...and that hope is still there that she will come back. I know I need to get rid of these thoughts of her coming back since it will only delay my healing but its much easier said than done. Thanks all for the kind words and providing the hope that this will get better It's still early. The hope will still be there but will fade as you keep going on. As time goes by, you will slowly start to accept the reality of things, engage in introsepction, and then that hope will slowly fade away. You will begin to think rationally and see things in a different light. Right now your heart is doing all the thinking. Give yourself time. Don't rush it. It will get better. Promise.
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