shawn923 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 If you told your ex politely that your "going NC", so for the most part you ended on good terms, is it necessary to erase your ex off fb as well? Erasing her will make it seem i just erased her out my life forever. Is this the message i want to send? Or just keep her on fb, and pay it no mind? I honestly feel i can pay it no mind, but some advice would help...
Romeofud Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 The first thing I would do is knock her off of my facebook page, but that's me. If you wanna keep her around, go ahead, be my guest, but to tell you the truth, it'll make it that much harder to get over her; seeing what she's up to and who she's dating next. Something to think about .
Fufu Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 If you go NC and you are still checking out her facebook profile, you are not in NC. So delete her off if you will still check on her facebook profile. I just delete my ex off and I didn't tell him at all. it's up to you if you want to be very kind to tell her you are deleting her from your facebook. I will recommend no because since you want to keep up to your NC, just stick to it.
betterdeal Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 It's not about messages being sent; it's about you. What message are you sending to yourself by maintaining contact via this social networking web site?
Trevster Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 My ex deleted me off her Facebook 3 weeks after our break up she also deleted my aunt bc my aunt was saying something about one of our pictures and all this wasn't mean at all but like I didn't know how to take it at all so I deleted all her pictures off my page! But this also came 3 weeks after really finding myself and praying for a new start with her like a new friendship and one day relationship so I take it as we arent friends or nothing so one day in the future we will talk again and become friends again "add on Facebook" then one day build that friendship again and maybe get in a relationship again that's how I have taken mine and I feel string about that from the lord!!! That's just me do y'all think I'm crazy or not facing life or something!
JasonRules Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 If you told your ex politely that your "going NC", so for the most part you ended on good terms, is it necessary to erase your ex off fb as well? Erasing her will make it seem i just erased her out my life forever. Is this the message i want to send? Or just keep her on fb, and pay it no mind? I honestly feel i can pay it no mind, but some advice would help... Yes, you have to defriend her and her friends off FB. As for the "message" being sent, who cares? Your ex girlfriend made a conscious decision to end a relationship with you. One of the consequences of this action is that you will be erased out of her life forever. And yes, this is the MESSAGE you need to send. The message is, you do not need her in your life. You are confident, strong, and determined to not beg, gloat, pine, cry, or be pathetic. YOU WILL MOVE ON. Besides, how would you feel if tomorrow she posted on FB that she was in a relationship and started showing photos of her new boyfriend? Can you handle that? Be a man and delete her from FB. If she loved you she will come back, regardless. If she never did, she won't.
Beeotch Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 If you told your ex politely that your "going NC", so for the most part you ended on good terms, is it necessary to erase your ex off fb as well? Erasing her will make it seem i just erased her out my life forever. Is this the message i want to send? Or just keep her on fb, and pay it no mind? I honestly feel i can pay it no mind, but some advice would help... If it doesn't bother you, then there is no need to be dramatic IMO. I deleted my ex because he was a nuisance and he disrespected me therefore I didn't see the purpose of him on my list as I had no intention of dating him again furthermore being friends. However, if things end amicably then you can simply hide the person's feed from your homepage and not go to their page without making a production about deleting them. If it is not going to negatively affect your life then you don't have to do it. If however it will, then you should.
YellowShark Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Hi shawn923, I posted this in another "Facebook" related thread but I feel you need to hear what I wrote too. Therefore: Do you ever wonder how the Earth functioned before Facebook was invented 7 years ago? I mean look at all the people on the Earth and ask yourself how many use Facebook? From last count Facebook has 500 million members and the Earth has over 6 billion inhabitants. You have to wonder how those 5+ billion people function without Facebook. Facebook is a fake representation of a persons life, it's a sales brochure full of generally "happy" photos and silly little useless narcissistic play-by-plays of how great their lives are. Yawn. I prefer to live a life without using Facebook as a crutch, or using it to validate myself. Seems to have worked for me and countless generations prior to Facebook's creation in 2004. I wholeheartedly suggest you deactivate it and get out into the real world. Best of luck.
Trevster Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Like your right about facebook i have never cared for it at all i have always thought of it as a waste of time. But like when your girl makes i part of there life in ways and they delete you it hurts in ways but then again it happens i have been given a positive path or negative take it as im down now i need to move on or as a posititve way and see that this could be the start of starting completley new.
YellowShark Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Like your right about facebook i have never cared for it at all i have always thought of it as a waste of time. But like when your girl makes i part of there life in ways and they delete you it hurts in ways but then again it happens i have been given a positive path or negative take it as im down now i need to move on or as a posititve way and see that this could be the start of starting completley new. If your "girlfriend" is using Facebook to hurt you then she is not worth the time of day. She is obviously a vindictive immature troll who is lashing out at you publicly, online. How lame is that? Seriously? Is that the caliber of woman worth your time? Not in my books. I never date women who use Facebook as a crutch or means of validation. I ask them straight out about Facebook and what they think about it. I would rather a woman who prefers real life over collecting virtual friends online and posting crap on Facebook to appear better-than-you-are, cool, or popular.
VJohnson32 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Hi shawn923, I posted this in another "Facebook" related thread but I feel you need to hear what I wrote too. Therefore: Best of luck. Amen! fb is becoming such an obsession its driving people basically insane. I cant stand people that constantly do stuff so they could take pictures and post them on fb the first chance they get.
silvermane187 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 (edited) You may think you don't care about facebook, but how are you going to react when she changes her profile picture to her with another guy, looking happy, as if you meant nothing to her? Don't only delete her, block her. If she needs to contact you there are ways other than facebook. Trust me, you will save yourself a lot of bull****. Edited April 11, 2011 by silvermane187
Trevster Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Well like she posted a photo with her and her sisters friend on there in her college album this was after she deleted me it hurt bc she is friends with my brothers so i got on one of theres to just look at her page something i shoiuldnt have been doing. It hurt but you know she is maiking stabs at me but im showing signs that it doesnt bother me i didnt say nothing about it or worry i dont even get on mine much now just to post pictures so family members can see cause im away at college but thats it...
D-Lish Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 The first thing I would do is knock her off of my facebook page, but that's me. If you wanna keep her around, go ahead, be my guest, but to tell you the truth, it'll make it that much harder to get over her; seeing what she's up to and who she's dating next. Something to think about . Agreed. And that's the very first thing I did when my bf broke up with me Saturday. I went straight home, unfriended him, and changed my status to single. There is absolutely no way I want to see what he's doing, updated pictures, or anything at all to do with him. What would the point be except to give me extra anxiety and pain? I say delete her. She knows how to get a hold of you again- and you can always add one another again if you want to later on!
Author shawn923 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Posted April 13, 2011 (edited) Update: I deleted her overnight off of facebook... Edited April 13, 2011 by shawn923
smudge21 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Nice move Shawn, but please watch out for those feelings of wanting to know what she's doing - FB gave you that avenue to explore and now it's gone, so, like me, you may now seek other avenues when that urge to wander what she's upto creeps in. I screwed up by Googling for her and found out much worse then I did from FB, so don't make my mistake!
jude007 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Well done - I have done the same thing, first day of NC. I have instructed the rest of my family to do the same, only a few will follow this lead tho, I know there are certain people who liked her. Tough love, but you make yourself happy!
Author shawn923 Posted April 13, 2011 Author Posted April 13, 2011 Its sooo hard not looking at her page... i still have access to it and it only takes me 2 seconds. Usually late at night i check her page because i have nothing else to do. Will i slowly stop checking less and less? Also, is she getting over me quicker, because i can see her page, and she cant see mines? Or am i overthinking all this, and it really doesnt matter, just as long as i dont contact her? Its just hard as fawk not looking at her page... I honestly cant see myself NOT just checking her page real quick just to see. I will try to check it less and less everyday, but this is something i struggle with... I also like i said, wonder whats going thru her head. She obviously cant see my page... so why am i looking at hers? i think about this sometimes...
jude007 Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 someone gave me very good advice. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN HAPPINESS IN LIFE, NEITHER ARE YOU OR HER RESPONSIBLE FOR EACH OTHERS. Seriously, time and no contact are the best thing - it gets easier, I split with a girl after 7 yrs, and it was tough, but you will meet someone better - we all do.... its part of our journey. always remember to keep you dignity, I didnt, and I made a putz of myself
EyeJustDontKnow Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Its sooo hard not looking at her page... i still have access to it and it only takes me 2 seconds. Usually late at night i check her page because i have nothing else to do. Will i slowly stop checking less and less? Also, is she getting over me quicker, because i can see her page, and she cant see mines? Or am i overthinking all this, and it really doesnt matter, just as long as i dont contact her? Its just hard as fawk not looking at her page... I honestly cant see myself NOT just checking her page real quick just to see. I will try to check it less and less everyday, but this is something i struggle with... I also like i said, wonder whats going thru her head. She obviously cant see my page... so why am i looking at hers? i think about this sometimes... Boy I am right there with you brother! All I can say is it takes a conscious effort to avoid these traps. It's like being told "Picture in your mind anything but a pink elephant" and all you can see is....a pink elephant. Ok maybe that was sort of weak. But no contact should be NO CONTACT. Don't torture yourself. Don't give in to "I wonder....". Find something to distract yourself with, that is what I am doing. Will admit there are rough spots but it helps to realize that it will pass. Are there other relationships you recall that were at firs tough but now don't bother you at all? Think about some of those to help put things in perspective. Now I just need to follow my own advice. Believe it or not, seeing your situation and knowing that I am not the only one struggling gives me strength. Be strong!
Fufu Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 My best advice to you is to block her from your facebook. Have you blocked her? i deleted my ex initially in facebook but I still find myself checking his page frequently because I still CAN see his profile even when I defriended him, so I took the big step to block him and when I typed his name, I couldn't even see him anymore. So, gradually, I no longer have the urge and temptation to do so. Worse still, initially i had his password to his facebook profile so I find myself logging into his page (Don't do this, this is extremely STALK-ish and extremely unhealthy). I figured out by looking at his profile is not going to help him so I totally cease looking at his page anymore. Looking at her page is not going to help you to move on.
EyeJustDontKnow Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 My best advice to you is to block her from your facebook. Have you blocked her? i deleted my ex initially in facebook but I still find myself checking his page frequently because I still CAN see his profile even when I defriended him, so I took the big step to block him and when I typed his name, I couldn't even see him anymore. So, gradually, I no longer have the urge and temptation to do so. Worse still, initially i had his password to his facebook profile so I find myself logging into his page (Don't do this, this is extremely STALK-ish and extremely unhealthy). I figured out by looking at his profile is not going to help him so I totally cease looking at his page anymore. Looking at her page is not going to help you to move on. All very good advice. I wonder, if you block somebody does it work both ways? i.e. if i block user.name does that mean that user.name cannot see me anymore either?
WTRanger Posted April 13, 2011 Posted April 13, 2011 Next time you start typing her name in think to yourself, "What am I doing?" then punch yourself. If you associate the pain of looking at her page with the pain of taking one good whallop to the face, you won't do it anymore. You obviously can't equate the emotional pain you cause yourself, so it's time to ramp it up to actual physical pain. You have plenty of other things to do with your life besides stalking someone of Facebook. At worst, you can spend that time re-evaluating yourself as to why you need to live off of crumbs from someone? You are setting yourself up for the biggest let down of your life when you run across her page and see she's with someone new. She's posting all of the things she said to you to this new guy. There are all new pictures of those two doing the same things you used to do. You won't be able to handle that. No one can.
Fufu Posted April 14, 2011 Posted April 14, 2011 All very good advice. I wonder, if you block somebody does it work both ways? i.e. if i block user.name does that mean that user.name cannot see me anymore either? It works both ways, you can't see her, she can't see you Which is good I feel because when you choose to move on with your life. It's all about you FIRST from now onwards.
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