brokendreamz Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Hi All, I'm 3 months out of an LTR. Over these last months I have come to various conclusions on why she left. We are in LC but have a house to sell so still talk from time to time. Every time we speak I find it almost impossible not to quiz her about various things. In some respects I'm lucky as I now understand what happened and I will make sure it NEVER happens again: I am a depressive I pushed and pushed her away while she tried her best to stick with me (neither of us realised why I was so moody and down until I saw the doctor - after she left) By that time it was too late - she just thought I was a negative person and she didin't want to be with someone like that I have been on meds and talking therapy, reading books and trying to beat it into submission and I feel like I'm beginning to come out the other side I am sooo gutted that I didn't do something sooner - I would have saved our relationship and a lot of bad times I am wracked with guilt and literally can not stop thinking about how bad I treated her and what I've lost. I'd do anything to make it up to her but she says her feelings for me have died although she will always love me. I just wanted to write this down so I can re read it and hopefully remind myself that she didn't leave 'me' she left the depressed version of me, a version I could have done noting about without help and I would not have sought help if she hadn't left, so perhaps it was for the best (although I'm having a hard time convincing myself of that!) Anyone got any good suggestions on how to stop these thoughts circling all day?!
Renard99 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 You've probably heard this before but I think you've just got to throw yourself into something else, whether it be find yourself a new hobby or activity. I'm also 3 months out of an 8 year relationship that she ended with no real explaination as to why she fell out of love with me. The questions of 'what did I do?' and 'could I have done anything to save the relationship?' have been eating away at me. To stop this I've made my self so busy, I don't have time to think. Ok, so I'm absolutely shattered, but I've certainly been thinking about her far less. In fact, the only time that I feel really really bad is when I see her in the canteen at work (I have to walk through it to get out of the building) because she's looking great having lost nearly 60lbs and bought a new wardrobe! Thankfully this doesn't happen to often though. Just take what you've learnt about yourself and then concentrate on yourself. Do the stuf that you know you enjoy. Hopefully you'll be so focused you won't think of her.
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