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Would a girl be easy or too eager if she told a guy that she liked him straight up?

interfuse

By interfuse
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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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Help. I really like this guy I've been emailing back and forth. He's deployed right now so he can't really email as often. I really like him a lot right now and I can't help it, but he's not always available to talk which is as expected for deployments. I keep missing him and I am wanting for his email again. I suggested hanging out after his deployment and he said he wants to, too. I hope that doesn't make me sound easy or eager. I'm considering of just telling him that I like him straight up, but I don't want to give him that pressure since I know guys usually initiate first. Guys, would it be a bad idea to tell the guy I like him?

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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I'm confused - you have told him you like him and he has said he likes you too, so what seems to be the issue here?

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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Help. I really like this guy I've been emailing back and forth. He's deployed right now so he can't really email as often. I really like him a lot right now and I can't help it, but he's not always available to talk which is as expected for deployments. I keep missing him and I am wanting for his email again. I suggested hanging out after his deployment and he said he wants to, too. I hope that doesn't make me sound easy or eager. I'm considering of just telling him that I like him straight up, but I don't want to give him that pressure since I know guys usually initiate first. Guys, would it be a bad idea to tell the guy I like him?

 

 

Yes, unless you're so hot that the guy doesn't care if you're easy or not but just wants to date you.

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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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I'm confused - you have told him you like him and he has said he likes you too, so what seems to be the issue here?

 

Please reread my post again. I did not say that I told him I liked him. I'm telling you guys that I like him a lot.

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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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Yes, unless you're so hot that the guy doesn't care if you're easy or not but just wants to date you.

 

I don't think I'm hot, but I'm not unattractive either. He have told me I look good that's about it though.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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Please reread my post again. I did not say that I told him I liked him. I'm telling you guys that I like him a lot.

 

Okay, you told him you'd like to hang out and he said he would like to hang out with you. Implicit in that is the idea that you like each other. We don't like to hang out with people we don't like, do we?

 

If you're up for getting naked with him, accept that feeling. When you next meet, it might happen. If you like, fantasise about it and fud yourself silly whilst he's away if you want to release some of your sexual energy.

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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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I tell my guy friends that I'd like to hang out with them, but I guess this situation is different. It's obvious I'm interested in him with my signs and hints, but I have never told him straight up, "I like you a lot." Should I say it directly? That is what I mean.

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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If you're up for getting naked with him, accept that feeling. When you next meet, it might happen. If you like, fantasise about it and fud yourself silly whilst he's away if you want to release some of your sexual energy.

 

Seriously...............................................

orangelady Established Member

orangelady

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I tell my guy friends that I'd like to hang out with them, but I guess this situation is different. It's obvious I'm interested in him with my signs and hints, but I have never told him straight up, "I like you a lot." Should I say it directly? That is what I mean.

 

What is deployed? Anyways, give it a shot. Everything is a risk and that's life. Just be diplomatic about it...........if he likes you, he'd say yes.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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I tell my guy friends that I'd like to hang out with them, but I guess this situation is different. It's obvious I'm interested in him with my signs and hints, but I have never told him straight up, "I like you a lot." Should I say it directly? That is what I mean.

 

What exactly do you mean, you like him a lot? What's the difference between that and liking a sunny day, for example?

thatdog Established Member

thatdog

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That's how I got in my last LTR. Girl just came out and told me she had a crush on me since we first met. I admit I was pretty freaked out by it at first. But on the other hand I got over it pretty quickly we ended up together for about two years and until she said that I viewed her just as a potential friend and had no clue that she was into me so nothing would have likely happened otherwise....

 

If you are really serious about him though don't think that saying you really like him is also a green light to sleep with him though he may interpret it thaty way which is also another risk.

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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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What exactly do you mean, you like him a lot? What's the difference between that and liking a sunny day, for example?

 

I mean liking him in a more than friends way. Romantic, boyfriend/girlfriend, relationship, etc. I would think most people would get my post.

BeginAgain Established Member

BeginAgain

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I think it is a bad idea to get involved with a guy who could come out like he fell in a salad shooter when there are so many alternatives. He doesn't have his life together. He doesn't have a stable and secure life yet so how could he have a healthy relationship? Answer is he can't until he is out and has started working for awhile. You going after this guy would be like me going after a high school or college student. Their lives are so all over the place and too many questions of "what if?" to make any sort of long term plans. If your only interest now is casual sex when he returns on leave and a long distance penpal then proceed. If you want more then look elsewhere.

BeginAgain Established Member

BeginAgain

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What is deployed? Anyways, give it a shot. Everything is a risk and that's life. Just be diplomatic about it...........if he likes you, he'd say yes.

The guy is a serviceman in the military.

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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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I think it is a bad idea to get involved with a guy who could come out like he fell in a salad shooter when there are so many alternatives. He doesn't have his life together. He doesn't have a stable and secure life yet so how could he have a healthy relationship? Answer is he can't until he is out and has started working for awhile. You going after this guy would be like me going after a high school or college student. Their lives are so all over the place and too many questions of "what if?" to make any sort of long term plans. If your only interest now is casual sex when he returns on leave and a long distance penpal then proceed. If you want more then look elsewhere.

 

What do you mean that he doesn't have his life together? Because he's in the military? Come on...

 

Are you serious when you said college students are like that that they're all over the place and don't have a secure life too? Wtf? How did you come up with that? A lot of people are in college and are in fact, ready to date and are in successful relationships some even married their SO that they met in college. I'm sorry, but that's the most ridiculous thing I've heard.

 

Thanks for your advice though...

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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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..........

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BeginAgain Established Member

BeginAgain

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Kids in high school, college, or the military haven't started their lives yet. They could end up going in any direction. It isn't impossible to begin a life long relationship with them, but I wouldn't count on it until they are living and working on home soil.

 

I know of one girl and guy with the guy in the military who were planning to get wed. By the end of his service he had called off the wedding because his experience had changed something about him so much he could no longer marry the sweetest girl in the world. You might disregard this as a worst case scenario or an exception but this is a common issue with those in the military.

 

What if he decides to make a career of it? Can you go 20-30 years only seeing him occasionally? That usually ruins marriages. I know a retired career naval officer like that.

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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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Kids in high school, college, or the military haven't started their lives yet. They could end up going in any direction. It isn't impossible to begin a life long relationship with them, but I wouldn't count on it until they are living and working on home soil.

 

I know of one girl and guy with the guy in the military who were planning to get wed. By the end of his service he had called off the wedding because his experience had changed something about him so much he could no longer marry the sweetest girl in the world. You might disregard this as a worst case scenario or an exception but this is a common issue with those in the military.

 

What if he decides to make a career of it? Can you go 20-30 years only seeing him occasionally? That usually ruins marriages. I know a retired career naval officer like that.

 

I can understand that a lot of military relationships and marriages don't work.

 

I believe those types of people you mentioned especially college students started their lives, but they haven't completely fulfilled it yet. It doesn't necessarily mean that their life is insecure. I know both types of people that met their one during college years and after graduating from college thus I didn't entirely agree with you. A lot of people in their early 20s meet their husband or wife and then get married when they're older. Yes I believe young marriages usually don't work out, but it is definitely doable for two young couples to work it out at the time being and after they're graduated from college and start the complete adulthood if you will. It is not a disaster for a college student to date someone.

 

The guy has mentioned that he's going to move back home after he's done with all this. Yes, I've taken in the risks. I know I won't be able to see or talk to him that often.

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gaius Established Member

gaius

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I know of one girl and guy with the guy in the military who were planning to get wed. By the end of his service he had called off the wedding because his experience had changed something about him so much he could no longer marry the sweetest girl in the world. You might disregard this as a worst case scenario or an exception but this is a common issue with those in the military.

 

Sounds like an easy excuse to get out of a marriage he didn't want. You do have to put up with deployments and be willing to move around as his orders call for, but military people aren't more or less stable then any other group. Every NCO at the marine recruiting station I visit is married except for one, and based on what I've seen they have healthy and happy relationships going.

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

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I mean liking him in a more than friends way. Romantic, boyfriend/girlfriend, relationship, etc. I would think most people would get my post.

 

Okay, I thought you meant something like that, but wanted to hear you articulate it more clearly. So how about saying that sort of thing to him, when you next meet up? I like you in more than a friends way sounds pretty clear.

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interfuse Established Member

interfuse

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Sounds like an easy excuse to get out of a marriage he didn't want. You do have to put up with deployments and be willing to move around as his orders call for, but military people aren't more or less stable then any other group. Every NCO at the marine recruiting station I visit is married except for one, and based on what I've seen they have healthy and happy relationships going.

 

This. Exactly.

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