heartnsol Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I'm kind of going through a rough time right now and could use some kind words. Basically my ex was my best friend for years before we dated, she ended up cheating on me, all of our friends are mutual and it sucks. I'm 22M, my ex is 21F. Basically I met my ex my senior year of high school, she was a junior. We got along great and she quickly became my best friend. She apparently had some feelings for me but I only saw her as a friend and she got over them. She introduced me to all her awesome friends, they became my new "friend group" and we all got along great. I went off to college three hours away but we still talked every day, she was my other half basically. The summer before she left for school (her school is 2 hours away from mine) we drunkenly hooked up one night and I realized I had major feelings for this girl that I didn't know I had. We continued hooking up but I was resistant to dating long-distance because I told her that if anything happened, I couldn't lose my best friend. After about a solid year of doing this though, it became sort of apparent that it was basically a relationship without the label, so we decided to go for it, and I was officially dating my best friend of 4 years. Our relationship was amazing. The distance was hard but we made it work. I moved in with one of her oldest, best friends who went to my school. Things were going smoothly for about 8 months until spring break. We were both home but things seemed... off. I asked her what was wrong and she confessed she made-out with some kid, was sobbing hysterically and told me how "unfair it was to put this all on me". She begged for forgiveness. This was my best friend, I didn't really understand how she could do that to me, but I forgave her. She had lunch with the kid and told him she was happy and in love with me and that she made a horrible mistake. Break ends, we both go back to our respective schools. After a week of everything seeming normal, she calls me and says that she needs to see me that weekend. She drives down and basically tells me she likes that other kid, and that we should break up. I was shocked but basically said "okay, if that's what you want". Then I find out she starts a relationship immediately after getting back there. I go into "get over her" mode (basically this consists of telling myself over and over that I deserve better and trying to hate her even though it's impossible after everything we've been through as friends). But it's hard, because all of our friends are mutual, and they were, for the most part, her friends first.My roommate (who has known my ex since 5th grade) is sympathetic with me, but at the same time, it feels like she's even more supportive of my ex (because "it's her best friend"). She tells me that my ex is happy and I should just move on. Our other friends also have this mindset of "what she did was wrong but she deserves to be happy so just move on." So, not only did I lose my best friend, and my girlfriend, but since we're in the same friend group it's kind of awkward. I just feel like she got "off the hook" easily, no consequences, is just happy while I'm here miserable. And I can't help but feel like if I had done to my ex what she did to me, I'd get bitched at for ages and given **** for it, but... nothing really happened to her, she screwed over her best friend but that's it. It won't even matter if I delete her off facebook because all of our friends are basically mutual and I'll still see her all over facebook. So yeah. What do I do? How do I get over her? And how do I regain even an ounce of power here because everything up till now has been her decisions? Thanks for any advice. TL;DR: my best friend/gf cheated on me and dumped me for the other guy. Nearly all of our friends (including my roommate) are mutual and have been supporting her, not "blatantly" but just... there for her even though she's the one that ****ed everything up. Also don't date your best friend because if the relationship ends you will lose the one person you thought would be by your side forever.
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