...heartbroken

[joey98]

today was a crazy day for me. i guess i should start by saying my bf n i had been together for almost 5 yrs actually tomorrow itd b our anniversary. weve always had little bickerings mostly due to him alway running late idk why dat is such an issue to me but it is. mite be i grew up with a mom that if u said 5 min itd better b 5 min. his answer has always been to threaten to leave which in turn shuts me up. weve done alot n said alot to each other.. but i never stopped loving him. well for 3 wks his got a new job n his doing really well 9-5 but his boss had injury n now after work his got to drop off paperwork n process it which always appeareantly takes 2-3 hrs. n dis is the dilemma when i call and ask how long will u be? his answer is y does it matter. y do i ask. n to me its like well u claim ur tired and starvin n u still take that long. n i no its absurd but heres the thing his boss is all alone no family so he gets there n boss wants company. n he doesnt seem to understand ive had long day to with our son and all i want is for him to come home n spent time with him. i had told him since this happened with other job with his bff once u no u can get away with things ull do it regardless my feelings. n he sees no problem y cnat he go hang out 2-3 hrs after work if hes workd hard. but im like if u workd hard wouldnt u want to come home n b with us. n today on his day off he went to do n installation with his bff n said ill b home by 11 am. i get a call which by now i no is not somethin i want to hear n sure enough oh hell b home round 2. well weve just gotten a phone n changed number to other phone but we still get incomin mess. on both so i look n c his reg. job boss txtd him at 11 wen he was calln me n dat only happens wen hes goin over to his place so 230 comes round n i call him n ask wuts goin on hes like oh well ill b home round 5-6 so i ask r u gona do somethin with ur boss n oh yeah im droppin him of a chair so logic tells me hell b home at 7-8 den n his like y do u need to no as long as i take money home! n im not like that all i ever want is his company.he tells me his at other install n will call bak so he hangs up n i call his bbf who tells me oh i just drop him off at his boss' his moms gona drop him off later. so if i had trust issues u can imagine my reaction, 4 hrs pass by n phones off so i call his boss' n he answers sain his tryin to get hold of his mom to get ride so i tell him ill go get u oh no so i say im gona go drop off ur car n ur stuff to which he replies oh ok, so i tell him u dont care ur losing the lil family u have n his like if thats wut u think. n im like either i go get u or its over n his like ill c u at my moms n im like no his like ok at home so i was like no n his like fine then i wont c u at all. so i go drop off his car n crap n his already there n what hurts is he didnt try to talk to me i had our son n he just said hi n checkd his stuff sisnt even try to get hold of him to fite to settle things nothing. so i get in my brotheres car, n he goes to window only to ask were his lil bottle of "medicine" is which i dumpd so i said oh i didnt c it n his ? is when can i go pik it up. nothing else. i went for ride with friend dreadin coming home only to find out hed been by though my guess is looking for his jar if dat jAR itd been in stuff hed never been by. he left me money which im sure he thinks i care bout but to b honest all i wanted was his company n im heart broken he lied to me n hid from me n didnt try to mend anything because he sees no wrong doing. im sorry my story is long n some mite say pointless n childish but idk wut to make of it. his told me plenty of times his wanted out that im a disease that i put him down only for the reason dat i dont see why he doesnt come home after work. if anyone can tell me if i was wrong, or give me advice. im hurt heartbroken and sad it came to this. his the fathe of my gorgeous son n i do love him because like i tell him i dont believe u can stop loving someone over one fite in one day....any advice is good...thanks for reading this.