U1987 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 This is a bit of a spin off from my previous thread, but I believe this issue merits its own. I've noticed that more and more young girls (girls in the 18-25 range) feel like it's okay to use their cell phones. I can't tell how many times I've encountered this problem. Have any other guys experienced this? I think it's pretty obnoxious, don't you think? I don't use my cell phone when I'm out with a girl. My standard response has been pretty passive-aggressive; as soon as the phone comes out, I go stone-faced and just twist my head, making it deliberately look as if I'm checking out other women in front of her, and then deliberately "forget" what she was talking about before when she was done. Still, I feel like that doesn't work all the time; like the message doesn't get across to them. Think a more direct approach is needed? How about saying something like "that needs to go away until I do" whenever she brings out the phone? Or taking the phone if she picks up when someone calls her and saying "she'll get back to you?" Any other ideas?
WTRanger Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 It depends on if it's family calling, or even an important call she's expecting. Though, if it's important more than likely she'd tell you she's expecting a call or text. If it's just her blabbing to friends, it's a deal breaker. No one should be that much of a slave to technology. I even walked out on one that wouldn't shut up when she was just yammering to a friend about nonsense. Even other people in the restaurant were getting annoyed. So, I just dropped my assumed portion of the tab on the table and walked out. I usually don't say much because there's nothing you can do. You'll lose to their phone every time and you'll just cause a scene if you mouth off. I just don't call them back for a 2nd date.
veggirl Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Don't say "that needs to go away til I do" and don't take her phone! I agree it's RIDICULOUSLY rude for someone to do that, but your ideas are rather harsh. You can say something like "oh something important going on?" all like you are genuinely curious/concerned. When she says "oh no it's just a friend" or whatever, then say "Oh okay, I was worried! I've never had a girl pull out her phone on a date!"
somedude81 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Have you tried saying something to them about it? When she hangs up. "Who were you talking to?" "Oh just my friend Becky. She said blah blah blah" Dirty look "You were talking to your friend on a date?" If she has any social grace she will apologize. If she doesn't. Then you know what kind of person you are dealing with.
dispatch3d Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 well don't do either of those options. Jesus insult city. Ask them who they are talking to? Why so much chatter? Just gather information. Don't try to push some kind of agenda on them about when and how they use their cell phone....... seems controlling to me.
veggirl Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Don't try to push some kind of agenda on them about when and how they use their cell phone....... seems controlling to me. Oh please. Controlling? That's a bit of a leap, don't ya think? Using a cell phone on a date to chat with girlfriends is flat-out RUDE.
J200 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I've ALWAYS had the guy do that to me. I've never used a cell phone while with a guy because I actually have no friends and no one calls me. I pretty much use my blackberry only to surf the internet. Guys do it to me; they are the ones texting or taking calls.
betterdeal Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I agree with others - be assertive rather than aggressive or passive-aggressive. Find out if the call was important, if it wasn't, let them know how you feel, what made you feel that way and what you'd like to happen next. "Oh right, I feel a bit frustrated by that, to be honest. I'm enjoying our conversation and I'd like to talk with you without interruptions."
betterdeal Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Actually, thinking about it, it depends on the situation, but sometimes it's them being passive aggressive. Go with your gut instincts. If you feel sh*tty about it, leave the cash for your part of the bill and walk out, as someone else has said. I've done this and got laid as a result (not every time, but calling it quits can change events in your favour)
J200 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I doubt this is true, but I love the self-deprecation. I feel the same way It's actually true. I had one best friend but I cut her off because I couldn't trust her.
Author U1987 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 I don't play that. I give them nasty looks if they mess with the phone; then I don't ask for a second date. I believe in giving people second chances, if they realize their mistakes and make an effort to correct it and make up for it. Either way, I really like veggirl's response You can say something like "oh something important going on?" all like you are genuinely curious/concerned. When she says "oh no it's just a friend" or whatever, then say "Oh okay, I was worried! I've never had a girl pull out her phone on a date!" Badass.
persevere Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 It's just flat rude for anyone to use a cellphone when on a date. No one needs to be that plugged in. I'd tell them I didn't appreciate it. If they do it again, I'm outta there...
sigurpol Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I don't use my phone in front of other people, date or no date. If a call comes that I need to take, I excuse myself. Texts, I answer later, once I'm by myself again. This. I go as far as calling my own friends out on it when we sit down someplace, and they put the damn thing out on the table. Like, do you want to be someplace else? Talk to someone else? Beating the dead horse... yea... that's pretty impudent of someone to answer a phone, or text, while on a date. First impressions, anyone? As far as what I would do? Probably just ask who it was that was calling or who they spoke to.. and make it obvious that I was offended. Good grief.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Anyone who uses a cell on a date is not into you at all.
welikeincrowds Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I call them out on it ("What the **** *******?"), and press random numbers on their keypad if they're texting or make annoyed faces at them if they're on the phone. Either that or I snuggle up to them aggressively, tickle them, kiss their neck, etc. Usually some combination of this works/ruins the date forever.
motive2002 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 If it's a first date you might want to let it slide some. Some women have a little "safety call" or text from a friend to see how the date is going.. just in case you turn out to be a real creep. That way she can create an imaginary situation to bail quickly. "Oh it was my mom and she just went into the hospital! I'm sorry to do this to you but......" If you're on your second or third date and she's glued to the phone texting, it's just outright rude and perhaps you should call her on that.
Intricategirl Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 My mom is currently in and out of the hospital, and I do have to have my phone available in case of an emergency- with my chance of an emergency being more likely than an average person. That being said, I always start with, "I'm so sorry, I need to keep this out. My mom is unwell, and if there's an emergency, I need to answer it." They usually express concern if she's going to be okay, I thank them for their concern, and we usually have a nice date. But if I got a text from a friend, I would simply push one button, make the message go away, and deal with it later. Chatting with one person while you're trying to have a conversation with another is rude, but not a reason for you to match their rudeness by asking them to put it away. If it's that bothersome, end the date. But you're not their teacher or their manners coach.
Leeway Harris Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I agree with what some of the other guys have said. I just wouldn't call her again. There's nothing you can do about people and their cellphones. I think it's ridiculous, but to people just a few years younger than me it's perfectly normal to ignore somebody you're with in favor of your cellphone. I have a 28 y.o. guy friend who does it all the time. Drives me crazy.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 ... Don't try to push some kind of agenda on them about when and how they use their cell phone....... seems controlling to me. That's what I am--an agenda. And it doesn't include treating me like I'm just another hamburger at McDonald's. The only way I'd stand for a woman using a cell phone on a date is if I know she has children and this might be some situation where she had to be a mom. Other than that my patience level would be pretty low. I HAVE an agenda. And if I'm on a date and paying, my date needs to respect that fact and not treat me like I matter--that's "I" with an extra-capitalized I.
TouchedByViolet Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 It depends on if it's family calling, or even an important call she's expecting. Though, if it's important more than likely she'd tell you she's expecting a call or text. If it's just her blabbing to friends, it's a deal breaker. No one should be that much of a slave to technology. I even walked out on one that wouldn't shut up when she was just yammering to a friend about nonsense. Even other people in the restaurant were getting annoyed. So, I just dropped my assumed portion of the tab on the table and walked out. I usually don't say much because there's nothing you can do. You'll lose to their phone every time and you'll just cause a scene if you mouth off. I just don't call them back for a 2nd date. Excellent advice. I find it ironic that women say they want a man to be respectful and a gentleman on dates but many are not willing to reciprocate the respect.
SmileFace Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Is it sad when all your dates start to merge into on?Anyway I think I remember I was on a date and the guy started texting - guess what I started doing... texting. At the point I was like "**** it". However I don't mind if someone excuses them self. I was on a date ,the guy's mom was texting him. He wouldn't reply, I told him to go ahead - I didn't mind. Also had a guy check the scores of a game on a date. Which he excused him self to do. It is all about manners. Seriously if I pull my phone out to text on a date. It means I am not interested or know you long enough for that to be acceptable.
iJester Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Don't know if it's been said yet, but maybe it's because you're boring and they wish they weren't there with you. I've never had a girl stay on the phone longer than it takes to tell someone they'll call back.
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 If she talks on her cell phone (without a good reason, explanation and apology) while on a date with you, she is either rude, doesn't like you one bit, or both. Grabbing her cell phone, "twisting" your head (Exorcist date! Cool!) to check out other girls, or any other creepy thing you can think of to do won't change either of those things. Either go home and call it a night, or grin and bear it for the rest of the date.
persevere Posted April 12, 2011 Posted April 12, 2011 Wait until she is off the phone, then start making calls of your own. Only talk about the hippest titty bar or the latest wwf match. Seriously, if she uses her phone on a date, she is playing games, has no manners and needs to take the bus home...
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