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How to stop thinking about cheating on gf?

hexaemeron

By hexaemeron
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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hexaemeron New Member

hexaemeron

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I've been lately thinking about cheating on my girlfriend because she did it first. At the same time I would gain more experience. I was the virgin when she met me and can't get really get over her cheating. I have to admit her previous experience with past lovers bothered me but now I'm feeling even worst than ever.

 

What if I were to go to a club and screw 2 girls? I bet that would piss her way off, hearing that my number in partners has increased.

 

Somehow I have become attached to her and don't think I have it in me to leave her. Sometimes I'm waiting for her to leave me and let me cry alone.

However, I feel bad for thinking about it and love her still. I don't know. I'm just struggling now.

 

I might one day proceed to this. Some of my buddies told me to go ahead and do it and I'll feel different.

Edited by hexaemeron
WorldIsYours Established Member

WorldIsYours

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I've been lately thinking about cheating on my girlfriend because she did it first. At the same time I would gain more experience. I was the virgin when she met me and can't get really get over her cheating. I have to admit her previous experience with past lovers bothered me but now I'm feeling even worst than ever.

 

What if I were to go to a club and screw 2 girls? I bet that would piss her way off, hearing that my number in partners has increased.

 

Somehow I have become attached to her and don't think I have it in me to leave her. Sometimes I'm waiting for her to leave me and let me cry alone.

However, I feel bad for thinking about it and love her still. I don't know. I'm just struggling now.

 

I might one day proceed to this. Some of my buddies told me to go ahead and do it and I'll feel different.

 

Take it from a person who knows how it feels to be cheated on. She did it because she doesn't care about you or herself. You need to leave her instead of doing the one thing that has practically destroyed you emotionally. Don't do it. You will feel even worse and that'll only validate her selfish state of mind for cheating on you in the first place. Find someone who truly loves you man.

OldOnTheInside Established Member

OldOnTheInside

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Take it from a person who knows how it feels to be cheated on. She did it because she doesn't care about you or herself. You need to leave her instead of doing the one thing that has practically destroyed you emotionally. Don't do it. You will feel even worse and that'll only validate her selfish state of mind for cheating on you in the first place. Find someone who truly loves you man.

 

I agree with this. Honestly, it will be very difficult to forgive this girl for her actions. Do you think you have it in you to do so? Do you think she is LTR material? As someone who has seen this drama far too many times, I don't think she is.

 

If you plan on "sowing your seed" at least break up with her first. It is not worth the emotional torment to do what you are planning on doing. Focus less on this cheating gf and more on your own health.

 

Would you say that you have a codependent relationship with this girl? That's never healthy.

KatieB Member

KatieB

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I'd leave her, sooner rather than later. There are plenty of nice, caring, genuine girls out there who would never dream of cheating on thier partners! The fact that she did tells you all you need to know. She obviously doesn't love you if she's capable of that. Does she even care about what it did to you? You have to put yourself first, like I'm trying to do in my current relationship. You're feelings are most important here

 

Katie

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hexaemeron New Member

hexaemeron

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Do you think you have it in you to do so?
I think I do. It's hard when you have two inner voices telling you different things. One of them says that it can be solved but takes time. I heard of some people that got over this somehow. The other voice tells me I'm wasting my youth.

Do you think she is LTR material?
There are times I want to believe her as she is very remorseful and is trying to fix what she did but sometimes I'm thinking if she would have continue, has I not found out about it. This what if sometimes drives me crazy.
Kelemort Established Member

Kelemort

Posted
Posted

I think it's natural to feel sexually insecure sometimes. My boyfriend has never cheated on me - before we started dating, he had intercourse with a previous girlfriend. I had oral sex with a previous boyfriend. That disparity bothered me a great deal (along with some other issues, but I digress).

 

I've certainly thought about cheating in my own relationship. The difference is - I'm not going to go through with it. Because at the end of the day...the only purpose is to inflict pain on somebody else. Or to make me feel good about myself. And why should how I feel about myself be reflected in how many people have enjoyed the horizontal hokey pokey along with me? That's really what you need to think about here.

 

What do you think sleeping with two other people will give you that you don't already have? I'm supposing for you that you feel very vulnerable, as this is your first sexual relationship - while for her, you suspect there may be less emotional involvement or "specialness" in your relationship.

 

You say she's apologetic and working on this problem. How? Has she told you her motivations for cheating? Are those problems that you think can be overcome, or will she forevermore be subject to straying?

 

I think it may be possible for cheaters to change, but only if the underlying issues are resolved. A lot of cheaters are jealous and insecure people. Until they can get a hold of those feelings, they may feel compelled to continue cheating.

 

I hope for the best for your relationship. But when you fight fire with fire, you only end up with a barren landscape. Do not continue a cycle of hurt and pain.

KatieB Member

KatieB

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The only time I felt like cheating on my BF was when he began rubbsing his past relationships in my face, which made me feel like I should even up the numbers a little...I could never do it though, cheating broke up my family, caused us to lose our home...now I live with my grandma in a tiny little Chalet 100's of miles from my home. Cheating is bad!! Don't do it :(

WorldIsYours Established Member

WorldIsYours

Posted
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There are times I want to believe her as she is very remorseful and is trying to fix what she did but sometimes I'm thinking if she would have continue, has I not found out about it. This what if sometimes drives me crazy.

 

That is why you need to just dump her.

Memphis Raines Established Member

Memphis Raines

Posted
Posted
I've been lately thinking about cheating on my girlfriend because she did it first. At the same time I would gain more experience. I was the virgin when she met me and can't get really get over her cheating. I have to admit her previous experience with past lovers bothered me but now I'm feeling even worst than ever.

 

What if I were to go to a club and screw 2 girls?

 

then you'd be no better than she is, and nobody any other good girl would want in a guy.

 

cheating in revenge just makes you a cheater.

 

 

I bet that would piss her way off, hearing that my number in partners has increased.

 

 

you aren't married, if you want to piss her off, why don't you dump her?

 

 

Somehow I have become attached to her and don't think I have it in me to leave her.

 

thats because you are thinking with your little head, not the big one.

 

man up! find a decent girl, and quit having thoughts about becoming a guy that nobody should want.

 

 

Sometimes I'm waiting for her to leave me and let me cry alone.

However, I feel bad for thinking about it and love her still.

 

if she cheated on you, she doesn't love you

 

and if you want to cheat on her, you don't love her.

 

if you stay with her, whether you cheat or not, just expect for this relationship to become toxic. more so than it already is.

 

be a man, get rid of her and don't become a cheating jackass.

DollyGirl12 Established Member

DollyGirl12

Posted
Posted

I agree with everyone else. Don't do it. Be the bigger person. Cheaters have a huge lack of character. You don't want to be thought of someone with bad character. There are plenty of wonderful women out there that will not cheat on you.

jt1 Member

jt1

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Posted (edited)

Please do not cheat. It will get you nowhere. My ex gf emotionally cheated on me and it hurts like hell still. Even though she went to see him after breaking up with me(only a week later), this sh*t situation has left me broken. So for the love of yourself and simple respect, really be better then that and don't do it. I wish no one would do this, it's just stupid. Yes you will look like a bad person, just like my ex has become. You can read the thread about it, its not long, reading is good for people anyway.

Edited by jt1
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