SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Ran into an old crush on FB (we have plenty of mutual friends from hs) and started chatting and I suggested we go out and get to know eachother. She said great and SHE gave me her # and I called her and set a time to go out a week later and I told her Id call her the night before with the details, she did not answer. Next day I texed her to see what was up. She said her sched. changed and could not do it. Called her a few days later and she said "I definately want to get together", I have told her what days im availabe at least twice, now this time shes busy again. If she changed her mind, or felt I was reading too much into this, why the F won't she just tell me, or text me if its too hard to do on the phone? I already tried twice so im not pursuing anymore, erased her # so i cant cant call again and look like a fool. Thanks!
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Ran into an old crush on FB (we have plenty of mutual friends from hs) and started chatting and I suggested we go out and get to know eachother. She said great and SHE gave me her # and I called her and set a time to go out a week later and I told her Id call her the night before with the details, she did not answer. Next day I texed her to see what was up. She said her sched. changed and could not do it. Called her a few days later and she said "I definately want to get together", I have told her what days im availabe at least twice, now this time shes busy again. If she changed her mind, or felt I was reading too much into this, why the F won't she just tell me, or text me if its too hard to do on the phone? I already tried twice so im not pursuing anymore, erased her # so i cant cant call again and look like a fool. Thanks! Yeah just run the other way. Some women are direct, others aren't. Many don't want to be direct because they don't want to risk confrontation. Some have been verbally assaulted for rejecting a guy directly and therefore no longer directly reject guys for fear of it happening again. A lot of guys can figure out if a girl is truly interested or if she's just being polite. Guys like me (and maybe you too) have trouble figuring it out and thus get frustrated when a woman appears interested (to us) and yet isn't. Oh well, such is life.
veggirl Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Yes, that is extremely irritating. It's something many of us (male and female) are guilty of doing, unfortunately. It's the "easy" way out for the person who isn't interested...supposedly. I say supposedly cause being direct would be a lot more efficient (ex: phone calls from the person you don't like would STOP right away rather than them calling 4x & you having to make excuses....)...
Author SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 It is irritating because all she had to say when I suggested we go out was "hey thanks but im super busy, nice hearing from you again". But she didnt, she gave me her # and seemed excited. Im not saying it thought it was in the bag, im not that bad. I was going to approach it as catching up with an old friend, and if there were sparks (i admit to hoping there would be) then hell yeah.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 It is irritating because all she had to say when I suggested we go out was "hey thanks but im super busy, nice hearing from you again". But she didnt, she gave me her # and seemed excited. Im not saying it thought it was in the bag, im not that bad. I was going to approach it as catching up with an old friend, and if there were sparks (i admit to hoping there would be) then hell yeah. You have to learn how to determine if she shows true interest in you BEFORE you ask for her number.
Duckduckgoose Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Not straightforward=not interested. If she wants you, or even just wants to catch up with you she will be direct about it. I don't keep friends waiting and I SURE IN THE HELL don't keep love interests waiting. Every time I give someone I am interested in the slip, it pushes them farther away and sends a message I don't want to send... message being "I play games with you haha".
Chicago_Guy Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Ran into an old crush on FB (we have plenty of mutual friends from hs) and started chatting and I suggested we go out and get to know eachother. She said great and SHE gave me her # and I called her and set a time to go out a week later and I told her Id call her the night before with the details, she did not answer. Next day I texed her to see what was up. She said her sched. changed and could not do it. Called her a few days later and she said "I definately want to get together", I have told her what days im availabe at least twice, now this time shes busy again. If she changed her mind, or felt I was reading too much into this, why the F won't she just tell me, or text me if its too hard to do on the phone? I already tried twice so im not pursuing anymore, erased her # so i cant cant call again and look like a fool. Thanks! She is not interested but didn't want to tell you that for some reason. Women generally do not blow off or flake on men they really like, or at least that is my experience. You mentioned that you told her you would call the night before you two were supposed to go out the first time and would give her the details. If I were you, I would have left a message with the details and asked her to call you back to confirm. If you did that and she didn't get back to you, then she is either not interested or is playing a control game, neither of which is good for you. If a woman does this to you, don't play her game and don't call her again unless she calls you first and offers a very good excuse (highly unlikely). Women like to say that they like confident men. One thing a confident man does is that he doesn't tolerate flaky behavior like this. When I was younger I would have let her get away with to a certain extent because I was inexperienced with dating and didn't know any better.
Author SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 You have to learn how to determine if she shows true interest in you BEFORE you ask for her number. I did not ask for her #, after she said yes (messaging on FB) to getting together i told her ill message her with some ideas, thats when she offered her #. As far as the confidence goes, do they want stone balls? Is saying lets go out not confident? If you studder on the phone when you ask them out are you ****ed? Or if you use the wrong word like hang out? Seems like for me lately women arent giving me a chance. They say be yourself but its not workng for me. Ill be ok though, just going through a rough patch this is 2 in a row, never got blown off twice in a row before so it stings.
Chicago_Guy Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I did not ask for her #, after she said yes (messaging on FB) to getting together i told her ill message her with some ideas, thats when she offered her #. As far as the confidence goes, do they want stone balls? Is saying lets go out not confident? If you studder on the phone when you ask them out are you ****ed? Or if you use the wrong word like hang out? Seems like for me lately women arent giving me a chance. They say be yourself but its not workng for me. Ill be ok though, just going through a rough patch this is 2 in a row, never got blown off twice in a row before so it stings. I don't think you did anything wrong by calling her. So she wasn't interested - learn from this and move on. If women put themselves in a position to get rejected more often than they do, they wouldn't engage in this flaky behavior with men.
tiger666t Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 It is too difficult to be sure if a woman is interested enough to give you her number, just go for it if you like her. Sometimes it is good to get to know each other online a bit more before asking for the number. You just got unlucky twice, flipped two tails, go about your routine everyday and continue to meet people. I second the comment about being a confident guy, such a person not only doesn't tolerate this kind of mean behavior but is smart enough to know he can do better, and he will.
Author SJC2008 Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 Yeah, like i said im done, i erased her # just so i cant call her if tempted. 2 strikes is enough for me. I think if someone is interested they'll make the time. I once screwd my boss not to cancel a date (he was totally cool about it). Thanks for the feedback.
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