Intricategirl Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Crap. I'm crushing. I'm 34, and I feel like I'm right back in high school, and it's only a matter of time before I start drawing hearts on stuff. I meet up with friends once a month. We've got this club, and help raise money for charity, and just hang out and have a good time. This guy has been part of the group for a while now, and he's really cool. He's good looking, but I don't think he knows how cute he is, and that only ramps it up. Last night at our meetup, everytime I looked at him, I saw that he was looking at me. During the meeting, I walked around and showed everyone something we're going to get the founder of our group as a gift, and he was quick to say how cool a find it was. Then as soon as the meeting was over, he came to show me a book he picked up. He said, "I know you've got kids, and I wanted to show this to you." He showed it to a couple other parents, but I thought it was neat that he kind of took the time to bring it to my attention as something my kids would like. A few minutes later, I went to find him and ask a question, and he was already gone. He does that kind of disappearing thing fairly often. And there's the trouble. I think he's shy. And I know I am. But if you asked anyone in the group, I think they'd say that we're both really outgoing. But I know that I get nervous and shy, so if I'm in a big group, I can just ACT like I'm witty and charming and the belle of the ball. Kind of compensating for a known weakness. And I sort of see him doing the same thing sometimes. Just little hints in his personality that I recognize from personal experience. And I don't know that either one of us will ever work up the guts to ask the other out. So yeah, it's just like high school, all over again. I like a guy, and I'm getting vibes he likes me. And I'm too scared to do anything about it.
welikeincrowds Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 "Dear _____, Do you like me Yes/No (Please circle one and slip back into my purse)"
Romeofud Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 OP, suggest hanging out or a fb connector. It really isn't that hard to do. If he likes you, he'll let you know by making a move, but you gotta put all the signs out there for him. When will women, especially over the mature enough age, finally get this? You girls have all the power to make things happen. Just take the intiative. Men like when women that show interest, but it has to be concise, not throwing yourselves at us and following us every where we go lol. Be natural and very receptive. Also, ask questions about him so he knows you're for real. Just keep talking to him. After enough of doing this, trust me, if he likes you he will perk it up.
Author Intricategirl Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 OP, suggest hanging out or a fb connector. It really isn't that hard to do. If he likes you, he'll let you know by making a move, but you gotta put all the signs out there for him. When will women, especially over the mature enough age, finally get this? You girls have all the power to make things happen. Just take the intiative. Men like when women that show interest, but it has to be concise, not throwing yourselves at us and following us every where we go lol. Be natural and very receptive. Also, ask questions about him so he knows you're for real. Just keep talking to him. After enough of doing this, trust me, if he likes you he will perk it up. I think I'm pretty good about putting signs out there and showing interest. I wrote him on FB later to ask him the question I had, and I thanked him again for showing me the book. When he's talking with someone and brings up something he posted to FB, I'll say, "Yeah, I noticed you posted that, what's going on with X?" or if he is talking about a recipe, I'll join in the conversation and ask him for some tips. And we've got a retreat coming up that I know he'll be at, and I can ask him for some stuff there. I guess I'm not saying I get shy to the point of not being able to say anything, but I'm too chicken to EVER ask him out. I like WeLikeInCrowd's suggestion though.
Author Intricategirl Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 I don't have any suggestions. Enjoy this feeling. Life is rad Thank you. I am. I'm chatting with a few other guys that are taking a little more of a lead, and we'll see where all that goes, but it's nice walking around feeling like the air is sweeter, and poets are writing stuff that ONLY I can understand.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 "Dear _____, Do you like me Yes/No (Please circle one and slip back into my purse)" That's precious.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 The response about Face Book throws me a curve. I had a perspective before that but I'm totally lost when someone starts saying they interacted somehow through Face Book. It does not compute. I never used it. I'd like to just think of it all old school the way I am, you have a crush and don't know what to do about it. My recommendation is to be on your toes if you want to move this forward with the guy. You can say something a tad forward without looking like you're throwing yourself at him. Good luck.
Author Intricategirl Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 What's tough for me is that I dated the leader of this particular group. It wasn't a secret, and after it ended, we stayed on great terms and were able to keep the group going. Past guy has a new girlfriend who comes to the meetings, and we're cool with each other. So while it might be a point in my favor that I can be cool and decent and not bring drama, I also don't want to come across as the "bicycle" of the group. lol It's not, "Well, he had his turn, now you're next, and after you, I'll date this other guy who comes to the meetings." And yeah, FB throws it off for me too. He saw my interactions with the past guy, and that I was decent even when we ended things. I'm a great girlfriend, but I'm the world's BEST ex-girlfriend. lol But he also sees the stupid, random crap I post. Which, dear god, if I'm gonna be judged on "BEST SAMMICH EVAH!" posts, that's not exactly the sum of who I am. Eh, I'll throw the signals out for him, and I've already gone the high school route of letting other people know I think he's good looking. But he's going to throw some back- a little more than just looking at me and showing me a book- if there's going to be anything. Those notes didn't do much for me in junior high, and I don't suspect the appearance of Facebook has suddenly made them any more effective. And Facebook or not- "I'd like to just think of it all old school the way I am, you have a crush and don't know what to do about it." That's still true.
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