WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Ok short, short! Situation is this: I met a guy online on chatroulette last Saturday. We chatted for 3 hours. We had some email exchange after that, but I am feeling very confused where I am at with the guy. What is your opinion? I loved talking to him. He said he loved talking to me too.The same day he send me a mail saying how amazing our conversation was.Next morning I already had another mail with a poem he wrote when he was a teen.Then I send him a mail saying I loved talking to him, but I need two/three day to digest all the great input I gotThen he send me two messages on my blog commenting how he loves my hairstyleThen 2 days later I sent him a message saying how I enjoyed talking to him and would love to chat again soon.He does not answer - so 24 hours later I sent him a mail asking whether he is upset - if he didnt like something I wrote - or whether he has a gfNext morning I find this message "hey hey, I was away from my house at my mum's for two days. No computer there. lovely to hear from you... It is first thing in the morning here now, I got in late last night and I am getting ready for work. I will message more later whenI have the time to focus properly. xR." That was on thursday morning. I havent heard from him since then. What do you think about this?
gaius Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I read your longer post too, and I would guess he took your comment about needing 2-3 days as a lack of interest and moved on. He might have already had a partner as well, as being reluctant to give an attractive girl you can talk for hours with your email is a huge red flag. I would just hold off from contacting him again and see what happens.
Author WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 He might have already had a partner as well, as being reluctant to give an attractive girl you can talk for hours with your email is a huge red flag. It is actually isnt it? Damn it how could I have overseen that - I only thought that it is because he might simply find my too needy or something. But of course it is! Thanks a lot. Quite dissapointing that he does not have the guts to tell me this, since he seemed so sincere and authentic, but then again that is life. And good to realize it now - someone who is so spineless ist of no interest to me. Oh and thanks a lot for taking the time to read through my novel
notuneak Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I've found that guys tend to circle back around. They will IM very intensely and then you won't hear from them for a couple of days. But they show up again. I just assume they are living busy lives.
Author WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 I've found that guys tend to circle back around. They will IM very intensely and then you won't hear from them for a couple of days. But they show up again. I just assume they are living busy lives. Yes he might do that actually. My guts tell me that he might actually write at a point when I will have given up on him. But giving it time is not for me in that case. I am a person who really needs a certain consistency in people - especially on the level of emotional open-ness that we two had shared already. I dont like people who first are totally over-enthusiastic and then turn to indifferent and then come around all sweet and caring again maybe. I guess, I will let someone else catch him. Still I am very curious though if he will actually ever write again, even though I am not planning to answer.
notuneak Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I'm like you, I need regular messages. But for some reason, guys don't do that. It makes it difficult when you "talk" to someone a lot, and then don't hear from them for a week. You have to almost start all over. But it happens all of the time to me.
Author WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 I know at least some guys who do that. But they are definitely a minority in my experience
Author WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 Wow damn it - I have just managed to track down his profile on FB. He has everything blocked there - so I cannot see whether he has a gf or something. But skipping through his interests utterly hurts. He seems to be such a good and kind person - this is what kills me. Now I remember how it felt when we chatted. I dont understand this - everyone else ... yes. But that kind of person. Oh damn now I finally got to the point that I am really attracted to loving, kind, generous people and then this. I am reconsidering the monastery option.
Nexus One Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 On a side note. I've seen many women on these forums give great importance to the time it takes for a guy to reply to texts, e-mails or IM. It's not that important. Most men view texting and e-mailing in a very practical way, they reply when they have the time or when the occasion is appropriate. Men hardly ever embed a hidden message in the time between replies of texts and e-mails. I bet that to most men it doesn't even make any sense to do that. I'm surprised that many women take this so seriously and try to read something into it. I think if you knew how most men view this then you would not worry so much regarding this. I guess this might be because many women see men as more complicated beings than they actually are.
Author WellLetsSee Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 Thanks Nexus for your reply. Well if a guy that I have recently met who in the first three days was totally enthusiastic and thrilled to have met me (to the degree that I needed a little break), now turns to not answering for three days - of course I assume that there is something fishy. I mean if he really was that interested as he came around in the beginning, wouldnt he at least let me know that for some reason he is busy and I might have to wait a little for an answer. Just to make sure I dont get the sense he changed his mind?
Ruby Slippers Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 Well if a guy that I have recently met who in the first three days was totally enthusiastic and thrilled to have met me (to the degree that I needed a little break), now turns to not answering for three days - of course I assume that there is something fishy. If he was really excited about you at first, and then you needed a break from talking, maybe he is trying to do the same thing to you.
Author WellLetsSee Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 Tahnks for your imput. Yes I have considered that even though I would be surprised that he is the kind of person who does power struggles. But if it is the case, the thing is I was upfront about it, made clear that it is actually because I got so much positive input from our talks, that I am simply having to digest. And I said Ill be back in 2/3 days and stuck to it. So I tried my best to make sure that he had no reason to worry. Someone who needs to get back at me / power balance like that would not be the type of guy I would be attracted to - its a big turn off for me.
Author WellLetsSee Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 ah chatroulette... I love this video - I have seen it before, but I love watching it again! The guy is really talented:laugh:
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