Disillusioned Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 In the Price of Everything, Eduardo Porter says that in India, where they still have printed personals, the ads are very straightforward and businesslike, no games, no hidden meanings or codewords. That sort of thing would never fly in the US. We'd read those ads and think everyone is desperate, then we'd go into "sanctions" mode (i.e., don't give that person the time of day; it's against the rules). The process in India is apparently the exact opposite of what we do here in the US... tell it like it is, EXCEPT when looking for a partner---then you NEVER, EVER tell it like it is. In India, you're expected to put your cards on the table when looking for a partner, but probably not for any other occasion. Maybe it has to do with what Eduardo Porter says about Indians being under tremendous family pressures to rather marry a poor person of the same or higher caste, than marry a rich person of a lower caste... but in the US, we also have a caste system, and it's spelled M-O-N-E-Y. I have an unsettling feeling that I was born in the wrong country.
WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 What hidden meanings or codewords are you talking about?
Mrlonelyone Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 A woman who's 5' 0" 250 who says she's "curvy". A man who's unemployed who puts down that he's self employed. Or the general game playing that goes on here on and off line in the dating world. In which everyone tries to avoid saying what they want until the very last minute. The game playing where women flee from pursuit, calling it being hard to get, while flirting with everyone else that they aren't interested in, then wondering why those men think they are interested. You know... that stuff.
carhill Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Financially secure and emotionally stable Apparently, candidness extends to ex-pat Americans: 'Delhi-based ex-pat professional interested in meeting an unmarried man. Dynamic,fun-loving and open- minded,I am seeking like-minded individuals to share outings,discussions and more', this listed by 'american-in-delhi'. OTOH, 'i like to help full man jo meary ko samnjay meary acshi or buri bato ko mughay baty'
WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Thanks I was curious what you ment since I have done my field research as an anthropology student in India and Nepal actually. A woman who's 5' 0" 250 who says she's "curvy". A man who's unemployed who puts down that he's self employed. Or the general game playing that goes on here on and off line in the dating world. In which everyone tries to avoid saying what they want until the very last minute. The game playing where women flee from pursuit, calling it being hard to get, while flirting with everyone else that they aren't interested in, then wondering why those men think they are interested. You know... that stuff. Well I would say that to a certain degree that is actually really the case in South Asia. But really only to a slight degree. Ads really are more straightforward, but I would not put this due to the caste system but as part of a culture where matchmaking and arranging marriages by parents is still a big social insitution. But if you hang out in middleclass Bombay or Delhi the dating scene is just as messy as elsewhere. Women are to my opinion actually great on playing games there. Watch a bollywood movie - its all about the guy chasing the girl, the girl running away (of course not to fast),... Its a different style maybe, thats all.
zakfar Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Sorry, I don't really understand what do yo want to ask or suggest. Do you like the lifestyle in India? If that's so, you can decide to migrate there. Lot of people come to USA and live there. Not all of them come there for money, as some of them has good money in their countries as well. They come to your country because they like the lifestyle and standards of living present there. If you like India, then you can start thinking about living there. Language barrier? Yes! But you can learn any language with some struggle. Trust me! If you focus, with 3-4 months, you can learn any language to the point you can understand most parts of the conversation, and explain yourself. Though you gonna need to have the environment where that language is being spoken.
Mrlonelyone Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I guess my problem is judging just how fast a woman who is interested will run away as a function of how hard I pursue VS how fast a woman who's not interested will run away as a function of how hard I pursue. Yet another argument for why it's easier for a bisexual man to just forget women and just pursue men. Far less BS.
Author Disillusioned Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 Reading the samples of person ads that Porter quoted in his book, the ads sound almost as emotionless and businesslike as if the person was selling a bicycle. Not like I personally think there's anything wrong with that...
WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 He he I just went to IndianDating.com it doesnt sound that business to me friend! "heyaaaa......m very frank n open gal...i m looking fr fun here....lik 2 date men n also i go fr parties.....if u want 2 meet me thn msg me i will reply n share my number tooo..........." hey guz....m new here n 2 city too.....looking fr sm men fr dating n wanna hav fun.....m kool n frank gurl....love 2 enjy my life a lot.....looking forward fr smart n handsome men here... and the guys i am simple , average looking , like to read books, movies, i want to date somebody who is not arrogant or a snob and who has a good heart. I am a man with good family values
WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 The NepalMatrimonial seems to have more to offer for you:D She is modern with traditional values, have pleasing tone, sweet temper, compassionate behaviour, down to earth, very positive etc.. she likes listening music, driving, swimming etc. she wish to marry a God fearing person with high moral values who will love her and stand beside her thru thick and thin. She is very Knowledgeable & sweet girl. The most imporatant thing about her Characteristic is " she knows how to give respect to the values of others"and here you finally have even a caste-search She born in simple Nepali family. There is no questions regarding her personalities. She is our sister and she is working as the Nurse in Nepal. we are looking an well educated Nepali chhetri candidate residing any countries.Sounds like a bunch of parents really got impatient with their daughters I have experienced it myself - already one I was around 22 my friends in Nepal really worried that i might never find a husband ....
Author Disillusioned Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 They need to ship some of those desperate women over here. American women are OOQ because they're too in love with themselves and their unrealistic fantasies. But OTOH Abyss Creations, makers of the Realdoll, would be run out of business...
Knittress Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 They need to ship some of those desperate women over here. American women are OOQ because they're too in love with themselves and their unrealistic fantasies. But OTOH Abyss Creations, makers of the Realdoll, would be run out of business... Dude - you and your doll. I'm a fan of toys myself, so whatevs - but ever consider that this sort of thing might be effectively repelling any women who might ever be interested in you? It could be continuing one of those vicious-cycle-things.
Author Disillusioned Posted April 11, 2011 Author Posted April 11, 2011 Dude - you and your doll. I'm a fan of toys myself, so whatevs - but ever consider that this sort of thing might be effectively repelling any women who might ever be interested in you? OTOH all the women who've taken an interest have ended up repelling me before they even had a chance to find out about my Realdoll.
welikeincrowds Posted April 11, 2011 Posted April 11, 2011 I do not envy the Indian dating scene. It seems a lot more tied to impersonal ideals than I would prefer. On the other hand, it would be pretty sweet to have access to all that Indian jewelry. OTOH all the women who've taken an interest have ended up repelling me before they even had a chance to find out about my Realdoll. That's cute, but it's going to suck when you finally get one past the threshold only to lose her to an animate object.
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