youaretheone Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I don't know if it is because of her shyness but she never initiates and always waits for me to do things. She never calls first, never suggests a date, never reschedules unless I call her and invite her out. However, she is the sweetest girl whenever we are together or on the phone, I have no suspicions about her interest in me. On the other hand, I am getting turned off and tired with making all this effort and expect her to put some effort into this. What is the best way to make it happen? Once, I did not call her for 2 days and when I called her on the 3rd day, she was all over me, saying that she has missed me a lot with an excited voice. Maybe I should pull away a little and give her a chance to do things. What do you think?
betterdeal Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Tell her how you feel, what makes you feel that way, and what you'd like to happen.
WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Just talking as a girl who has exhibited this passive behavior with guys she really liked in her past as well... What would have helped me in those situations if my bf would have expressed to me that he was feeling frustrated doing all the effort and that he would appreciate it a lot if I would call and ask for dates myself. See my problem was that I kind of always believed that the guy maybe wasnt that much into me and I was just scared to be rejected when I would call. And after a while it just became routine that he was the one to call. But I guess if he would just have stopped calling at all, I would have just got really scared assuming that he wants to break it off and after maybe 5 days I would have called scared, sad and angry at once ... you can tell where that would have gone to? All I really needed at that time was the security that the guy really appreciated if I called - and I definitely would have called.
betterdeal Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 So much bad comes from bad communication, ergo, so much good can come from good communication. Simply saying "I feel a bit frustrated that I make contact and you don't. I'd like it if you called me sometimes."
Lauriebell82 Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 She may worry that SHE'LL come on too strong and you'll feel that she is too clingy/needy. When in reality you're getting turned off that she ISN'T making an effort. I agree you should be honest and tell her how you feel. That's really the only way you are going to find out what's going on and try to solve the problem.
Darren Taylor Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I would let her know how you feel. Give her one chance and if things don't change, get rid of her. If it's this bad now, it won't get any better over time.
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