JZSYami Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 hi, This is my first post here & I just don't really know what's wrong with me but the thought of dating is freaking me out. I'm 27 years old and never had a boyfriend. I'm not really sure I want one either. okay here's the scenario, my friend from Jr High calls up from out of the blue and we chat about stuff, random stuff. Then she asks if I have anyone in my life, I tell her I'm not looking. She says that I'm almost 30 & wonders why I'm not looking. and then begins to tell me about her brother in law who she says "hanging out with him is like hanging out with me. (refering that he's like me)" She's shown him one of my facebook pictures and she says he thinks I'm pretty. my first response is to panic and try to shift the conversation to something else. I think she's trying to hook me up with him. she's told me she told him that 'she's never had a boyfriend before... so take it slow' Instead of being thrilled, I'm terrified. I grew up in an abusive home. My dad would for no reason ground me, yet show favor on my autistic brother. He would also beat my mother and not allow me to leave the room. He would also abuse me in 4 out of the 5 forms of abuse (he never molested me) is there something wrong with me?
BeginAgain Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 (edited) Yes, but it isn't your fault. You shouldn't seize up just thinking about being with a guy. Maybe you need therapy and to find an extremely kind guy to treat you well. Do you have any other issues with face to face socializing in public or private if it is with women? Edit: Also do you have any attraction to men or have any fantasies about men? Edited April 10, 2011 by BeginAgain
Author JZSYami Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 I forgot to add that after my father beat me in public, my family (minus him) moved out to California from Texas. During high school I had a huge crush on Mr. Spock, to the point of actually learning Vulcan. (& when I saw Leonard Nimoy at the Grand Slam Sci-Fi Summit in Burbank 3 years ago on the 13th I kissed him on the cheek) I study Jujitsu & there are guys at my dojo that I like as friends. I can work out with them, but the thought of even dating one of them is a little unnerving. I feel kinda silly for saying this, but I have a crush on Yami Yugi from the anime series Yu-Gi-Oh! He has a nice deep voice. (deep voices are a plus. facial hair on the other hand is a huge minus. The reason is 1: both my father and a youth pastor who might have video taped me taking a shower when I was either 12 or 13 [i didn't find that out until we had been living in Ca for about 2 years] have beards. 2: my brother, now almost 20, has one as well...)
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