singlelife Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 If you do it to get your man what is your success rate?
orangelady Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 If you do it to get your man what is your success rate? Hmm good question. Never tried it. I feel it's 'not me.'
Author singlelife Posted April 10, 2011 Author Posted April 10, 2011 Hmm good question. Never tried it. I feel it's 'not me.' I feel it's not for a lot of women or we would be hearing how they are landing their man left and right. But we don't.
threebyfate Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 As someone who doesn't play hard to get but is hard to get, if it's defined as sleeping with a guy, it's worked for me my entire life. Haven't lost one who was worth keeping and currently are married to an exceptional and emotionally healthy, loving man. I strongly encourage all women to be as picky as hell in their choice of men.
WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 What do you mean by "hard to get"? If you mean hard to win their heart it is actually a BIG question for me. I am not the kind of person who plays hard to get. When I like someone I show it, when I do not like someone I am indifferent. Simple, no? Unfortunately that makes those guys that I do not like come running after me - where I silently think to myself ("Jee dont you have any self-respect - go for someone who treats you nicely and appreciates you for who yo are - i obviously dont!"). And those that I like drop me as soon as I show that I like them - probably misjudging my emotional openness and availability as needy. But I am just not willing to change. Because I myself find people like me simply much much more attractive - these games just really turn me off.
musemaj11 Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Playing hard to get does work. It works for women and for men. But the problem is that if you get someone by playing hard to get, then you will have to play forever.
Ross MwcFan Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Supposedly it's supposed to work well since guys like the chase. For me personally it wouldn't do anythig for me. If a girl sounds like she's not interested then I'm just going to think she's not interested and move on.
phineas Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 The chase is like hunting. Once the beast is slain the hunter moves onto the next one. At least this is how the guys I know who chase are. They consider women who play hard to get low quality & strictly hit it & quit it. How many women have played hard to get to make a man prove he's really interested only to have him sleep with her then fall off the face of the earth? Women don't go for men who put the pussy on a pedestal & men don't consider women who put their own pussy on a pedestal long term.
Hules Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 The chase is like hunting. Once the beast is slain the hunter moves onto the next one. At least this is how the guys I know who chase are. They consider women who play hard to get low quality & strictly hit it & quit it. How many women have played hard to get to make a man prove he's really interested only to have him sleep with her then fall off the face of the earth? Women don't go for men who put the pussy on a pedestal & men don't consider women who put their own pussy on a pedestal long term. This playing hard to get is stupid.
Disillusioned Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 This playing hard to get is stupid. Seconded. It's also 30 years out of date.
Hules Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Seriously if you intentionally play hard to get all you will attract is: A) Guys with low self esteem and no self respect. B) Guys who are stupid/gullible enough to fall for this crap. C) Guys who want to win you as a trophy and most likely **** you and run. If thats what your aiming for then hard to get is awesome!
Eve Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 (edited) If you do it to get your man what is your success rate? Not sure about 'playing' hard to get. I wouldn't know where to start with any form of mind game. Not sure how people find the time to do such things! When I met my Hubby I was pretty much blown away by him from the first moment I heard his voice. I fought this somewhat because although I wanted to be with him I had to factor in that maybe I was going crazy or something. In that sense, I tested him out a bit. Well, quite a bit really. In younger days I would go out with someone and do the whole see where this goes type of thing.. but I soon tired of all that and became completely detached from even thinking too heavily about men. Somewhere within this I developed another view which basically put men into slots; Brother, friend, Uncle type, bastard - stay away type etc. Hubby did not fit into any of those slots. So, I don't think I was playing hard to get, it was more that my radar was reset and Hubby hit the level I was looking for. Take care, Eve x Edited April 10, 2011 by Eve
stepka Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I've never actually figured out what people mean by playing hard to get. If you mean a party girl who plays endless games and keeps a man waiting and such, then she's probably not playing hard to get--she is hard to get and you'll never be able to pin her down. If you're talking about a woman who prefers to sit back and assess the qualities of the man who is trying to sleep with her or have a relationship with her, then she's not playing either--she's simply taking her time to decide whether this is the man and the type of relationship that she desires. In today's dating world though, we don't have much time to decide and that's why the "games" had to go--the second scenario works much better in a closed environment like school or clubs. Another thing too--it may look like a woman is playing games with you, but you might be competing with 2-3 other men for her attention and she may still be in the stage of deciding which one of you she wants to date. If you just decide that she's not interested and move on then you may miss out on the opportunity to be with someone who might be right for you. I do believe that most people hate games (yes, even women!) but we often feel that we're forced to play them.
BeginAgain Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 It would most likely only work if you were already to some degree involved with the guy so he knew you were actually interested. You would have to keep laying tantalizing tid bits to keep his attention though and the trap fresh. If he doesn't know you and you act hard to get on first contact then that will more often be read as disinterest.
Hules Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I've never actually figured out what people mean by playing hard to get. If you mean a party girl who plays endless games and keeps a man waiting and such, then she's probably not playing hard to get--she is hard to get and you'll never be able to pin her down. If you're talking about a woman who prefers to sit back and assess the qualities of the man who is trying to sleep with her or have a relationship with her, then she's not playing either--she's simply taking her time to decide whether this is the man and the type of relationship that she desires. In today's dating world though, we don't have much time to decide and that's why the "games" had to go--the second scenario works much better in a closed environment like school or clubs. Another thing too--it may look like a woman is playing games with you, but you might be competing with 2-3 other men for her attention and she may still be in the stage of deciding which one of you she wants to date. If you just decide that she's not interested and move on then you may miss out on the opportunity to be with someone who might be right for you. I do believe that most people hate games (yes, even women!) but we often feel that we're forced to play them. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck, it must be a duck. Doesn't matter if the games are intentional or not. If I feel like a girl is playing games with me, I'm not interested.
phineas Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 This playing hard to get is stupid. yep. I got better things to do. Like go on dates with women who don't play games.
phineas Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 It would most likely only work if you were already to some degree involved with the guy so he knew you were actually interested. You would have to keep laying tantalizing tid bits to keep his attention though and the trap fresh. If he doesn't know you and you act hard to get on first contact then that will more often be read as disinterest. A woman doing this would be forgotten in a heartbeat if another woman came onto the scene. Or my buddies wanted to play golf. LOL!
Mrlonelyone Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 What stepka says sounds about right. Especially the last part. Everyone should assume that everyone else has options. No matter how pathetic the potential mate seems. No matter how needy their sending one too many text or emails may seem. No matter how into you you think they are ... they have other options. There are billions of people in the world and usually millions within an hours drive of most people in the US. Has hard to get ever worked for me. Yes but not on purpose. The women who come after me are usually very taken and interested in little more than a fling. Since I am not really down with that that makes me hard to get. I have given in though. The same for the men who have came after me. Something about me attracts people who are already in relationships of some kind. So I guess in that sense it hasn't worked for getting me a relationship...just sex. Now from my end I have a hard time knowing when women in particular are playing hard to get. Or are they a certain kind of crazy I have dealt with more often than I care to remember. I am going to write a journal entry some of you may find interesting. Look for it.
proactivedreamer Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 What do you mean by "hard to get"? If you mean hard to win their heart it is actually a BIG question for me. I am not the kind of person who plays hard to get. When I like someone I show it, when I do not like someone I am indifferent. Simple, no? Unfortunately that makes those guys that I do not like come running after me - where I silently think to myself ("Jee dont you have any self-respect - go for someone who treats you nicely and appreciates you for who yo are - i obviously dont!"). And those that I like drop me as soon as I show that I like them - probably misjudging my emotional openness and availability as needy. But I am just not willing to change. Because I myself find people like me simply much much more attractive - these games just really turn me off. I feel the exact same way. I do not play games or hard to get because, simply, I think it is silly, and I would hope men and women have evolved enough to try a different approach to mating rituals. Unfortunately, we have not evolved past this, so it can be very frustrating in the dating world. I have never been a game player, and I, like the poster I quoted, am very emotionally open and available when I really like someone and feel like I could be with them. I think this works against me, and people in my life always say "you are too available". Honestly, at this point, I don't give a **** about being in a relationship, so the games you have to play to get one, I won't be participating in. I don't have a problem getting laid, so I guess I will be sitting on the side lines...
notuneak Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I think men appreciate a girl more if they have to put in a little work to attract her. Set the bar high, ladies.
BeginAgain Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I think men appreciate a girl more if they have to put in a little work to attract her. Set the bar high, ladies. The higher it goes the better I can limbo under it.
WellLetsSee Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 Unfortunately, we have not evolved past this, so it can be very frustrating in the dating world. You say it sister! I join you on the sidelines. Have you watched the movie Playing by heart - you know the Joan figure? I totally love her. She is so charming and vulnerable and sweet - not talking about Angelinas looks here. I cannot understand how anybody would not be totally smitten by someone with that personality.
notuneak Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 The higher it goes the better I can limbo under it. Haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Darren Taylor Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I'm not a woman, but I've noticed that the ones that do play hard to get struggle with their relationships. You'll never attract quality people by playing games.
amymarieca Posted April 10, 2011 Posted April 10, 2011 I don't really believe in playing hard to get. Why would I reject someone I like? That's too risky. I do however, believe that you should not invest a lot of emotion in someone right away. I think a lot of people do this when they really like someone. You meet them and then start painting a picture in your mind of what you want to happen and then become disappointed when it doesn't. I believe that by avoiding this, you will seem a little more mysterious to the other person.
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