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ex keeps coming back

notsmiling

By notsmiling
in Second Chances

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notsmiling New Member

notsmiling

Posted
Posted (edited)

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]This is a long messy story. Try to keep it short.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]My ex and I were together for 5 yrs while he was married.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I eventfully broke it off with him, as there was another OW.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Wife found out about other OW and kicked him out for good.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]After 2 yrs he was contacting for a yr saying he wanted to leave OW who he was with this went back and forth (just talking)nothing happening till he said he was leaving couldn’t I said don’t contact me me anymore.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Another yr later contacts me actually leaves her lives with me for a month.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Then says she is his soul mate and left me’s months after that came back for a day.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Said leaving me was a mistake. Then ignored my calls stayed with her.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Now a little over a yr here he is again![/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]He has been calling me every day for a wk, says he wants to come back biggest mistake leaving me..[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Do not even know why I am entertaining this again![/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]The relationship with the girlfriend is over; she just has to get things from apartment.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]He is saying he wants to start with a clean slate with me. Once her stuff is out he wants me to try relationship.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Do not know if I can forgive him or trust him.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]In addition, ive told him this am so conflicted and angry with him.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I just think he will do the same thing leave me and go running back to this girl.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Just don’t understand why he keeps coming back to me other then I let him.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]It took me along time after he moved out to get over the hurt to leave me to go running back to this person,[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I just do not even know what I should do any advice would be appreciated.[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Ive known this man 12 years .[/sIZE][/FONT]

Edited by notsmiling
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don't-kill-the-msngr New Member

don't-kill-the-msngr

Posted
Posted

Here's what you should do....

 

:bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny:

Run.. run for your life and tell yourself

"pain is good.. pain is good.. pain is a necessary part of healing"..

:bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

Open the yellow pages and call a counselor to help you recover from your addicition cause you won't be able to fight off your own inclination to destroy yourself and you will need help and support in your recovery effort.

 

You can say I don't know the guy, I don't understand, etc.. but somewhere inside of you, you know its what you should do. You have to ignore your instinct to let him back and go with that small voice that says RUN LIKE HELL!

 

1. IN WRITING/ email- write a letter that says you are NOT interested in having him be a part of your life. You have moved on. You expect him to do the same.. THIS LETTER HAS to be an UNEMOTIONAL GOODBYE so perhaps have a friend who DOESNT know him write it for you.

 

2. DON'T talk to him. DON'T answer the phone, open the email, have him on your friends list, or answer the door. Don't go where he goes.

 

If he won't leave you alone after you've written the letter and its on the verge of controlling your life or you feel threatened, file a restraining order ASAP and DO NOT EXCUSE STALKER behavior.. that is how girls die.. they say "it will never happen to me".

 

3. He's gonna want an explanation. Just tell him you don't want to rehash the past, you just want to move forward with your life, with out him in it.

 

 

WHY ALL OF THIS?

 

Simple.. that man is keep on destroying you as LONG AS YOU LET HIM. HE is someone YOU CARED about but he is also NOT going to be STRONG enough to be in a relationship with him. He has self esteem issues. He is selfish in his actions. He does what is best for HIM in his life.

 

 

HOWEVER..

 

:sick: If you look at yourself in the mirror and you can tell yourself you want a relationship of up n downs, more sad than happy, and never knowing if he's going to do to you what he did to every other woman.. well then perhaps you like those relationships and if you are happy with that, then so be it.

 

 

 

But you know I'm right.. on some level... else you wouldn't have posted here.

don't-kill-the-msngr New Member

don't-kill-the-msngr

Posted
Posted

oh and the only reason I posted such a strong worded message is because this guy probably won't go away just because you tell him too..

 

He is going to try n WOO you until he can get back in.

Eddie Edirol Established Member

Eddie Edirol

Posted
Posted

He keeps going back to you because you are his backup woman. He REALLY wants to be with that OW, but she probably wants to be with someone else, so when she dumps him, he has you.

 

So you are the 2nd choice. You will never be the 1st choice.

 

Heres the future:

If you start something up with him now, he will dump you for the first person he can, and you'll be hurt again.

 

So do yourself a favor, and stop taking his calls. He will never make you a priority. Dont you know how many single guys there are out there that are normal? or do you enjoy the roller coaster of emotions that this guy gives you?

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